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Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

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Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#111
post #18

I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. I was early investor with Chrys Bader previously on his startup Secret. He was a YC batchmate of mine from 2008. I watched him build an initial prototype that had the chance to be a real social network that had very high long term retention, but in the end the company didn't invest deeply enough into moderation and the long term retention cohorts went d…

Friendships are everything — keep them close and cultivate them. If it’s through investments, building tech, do it. The market is a beautiful thing; it will quickly and swiftly tell you if you’re right or not. No need to fret over any apologetic comment.

> The market is a beautiful thing; it will quickly and swiftly tell you if you’re right

Is this why everyone seems to think the iPhone is so good?

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#112
post #18

I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. I was early investor with Chrys Bader previously on his startup Secret. He was a YC batchmate of mine from 2008. I watched him build an initial prototype that had the chance to be a real social network that had very high long term retention, but in the end the company didn't invest deeply enough into moderation and the long term retention cohorts went d…

> I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. > ... but don't write the startup off before you actually try the software itself. Cool. So you want to protect your investment. I get it. But to be honest your comment reads like damage control from someone who is just realizing they might have made a bad investment. So I'm curious: why did you think this startup was ever a good idea to invest in? To…

Gary is clearly investing in the person, Chrys Bader, and his mission. Not the idea. It's an early stage app that isn't even publicly launched. They can make changes to it or pivot at any time. These are always fragile and look stupid until they don't, there's an essay about that here.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#113
post #18

I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. I was early investor with Chrys Bader previously on his startup Secret. He was a YC batchmate of mine from 2008. I watched him build an initial prototype that had the chance to be a real social network that had very high long term retention, but in the end the company didn't invest deeply enough into moderation and the long term retention cohorts went d…

Beneath all the feel-good marketing, this app seems like it's going to be a marketplace for self-help professionals.

I'm not making any kind of value judgement here, this could certainly be a good thing and I will take your advice and wait to see the app for myself.

If I'm not wrong about this, can you comment on what you know about the process for vetting the quality and/or credentials of the professionals who will be featured/promoted on the platform?

There are already tons of self-help scammers out there who are just looking to take money from desperate people.. How does this platform avoid becoming an enabler for quick-fix scams, while supporting credible programs?

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#114
post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

have you been outside recently? I mean outside without a phone for a couple of months. Give yourself a no-data diet, and just observe what is going on in others. Wait alone at a bus-stop or alone at a pub or cafe. You can see them addicted to their screens everywhere. It's the norm now to immediately reach for the phone because god forbid they might otherwise feel 2 seconds of boredom. They are no longer human as far…

I normally don't post here but i just wanted to say that i've noticed the same thing around me and have also felt the crushing depression that comes with the realisation that everyone is addicted to something that's destroying the very fabric of our society. And your point about fixing loneliness through a painful but personal journey is spot on. If it doesn't hurt, you're not really doing it properly. Go out and mee…

> destroying the very fabric of our society.

I'm like 99% certain that phrase has been said in one form or another throughout every single generation.

Wasn't there an article about how magazines were deemed bad when they first made an appearance and people would bury their heads in them?

Honestly, I just think for the most part people are afraid of change and would rather things continue the way they have. I try to remind myself of this every once in a while, and it helps me stay optimistic.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#115

Oh good. Another app. When will people learn that more technology is not only not always the answer, but often the problem? The biggest fallacy of the 21st century is the idea that the shortcomings and collateral effects of the advance of technology can be addressed with more technology. I'm not against technology. I'm not a neo-Luddite. But at the same time, the conception that all of the problems we've created or e…

I think "traditional" social media (Usenet, IRC...) was a nice complement to everything. However the new social media like Facebook etc. is not a complement but a replacement for texts, phone calls, keeping in touch by more offline means. As a matter of fact the new services were pushed and advocated mostly from outside the tech community. So I don't see any obligation.

The founders already sum it up pretty nicely: “It’s like eating McDonald’s to get healthy. It’s not the right source of nutrition for our social well-being...” Recent development in that area rather stemmed from opportunistic goal-seeking...

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#116
post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's time for us to recognize that we (the tech community) don't have all of the right answers, and it's time for us to reach out and try to learn, and try to participate in fixing the problems we helped create. Is this like when people in the past said the postal system couldn't ever replace visiting someone, and that the telephone would never replace letters, and that chat apps couldn't beat a phone call.. People i…

have you been outside recently? I mean outside without a phone for a couple of months. Give yourself a no-data diet, and just observe what is going on in others. Wait alone at a bus-stop or alone at a pub or cafe. You can see them addicted to their screens everywhere. It's the norm now to immediately reach for the phone because god forbid they might otherwise feel 2 seconds of boredom. They are no longer human as far…

>god forbid they might otherwise feel 2 seconds of boredom.

All the other things aside, this is, in my opinion, the worst part, and will have the longest, most negative implications for society. Boredom is when you are allowed to explore your own mind, daydream, think about things. We have eliminated it.

Anecdotal - we live 45 minutes away from the nearest "city" with grocery stores. We do not let our children use technology during these drives; they're only 45 minutes. Our friends all treat us like we're awful people.

Boredom is good for children. It encourages thought and introspection. Eliminating opportunities for boredom, as a species, I am sure will have negative repercussions we cannot imagine.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

have you been outside recently? I mean outside without a phone for a couple of months. Give yourself a no-data diet, and just observe what is going on in others. Wait alone at a bus-stop or alone at a pub or cafe. You can see them addicted to their screens everywhere. It's the norm now to immediately reach for the phone because god forbid they might otherwise feel 2 seconds of boredom. They are no longer human as far…

You don't "fix" loneliness with an external tool. The only solution to fix this is inside you (and it hurts if you do it right). Thinking this way is utterly toxic. It puts 100% of the onus to resolve an issue on the individual with no room for people to help each other. You might as well be telling depressed people to "think happy thoughts more" or telling anxious people to "snap out of it and be more resourceful".…

Clinical depression aside thinking happy thoughts / thinking positively is proven to help with having a happier life: https://time.com/collection/guide-to-happiness/49947/happy-t...

Anxiety is helped immensely by snapping out of spiraling negative thinking, CBT is pretty much the de facto starting point for addressing anxiety and depression.

I have no data on social apps solving either anxiety or depression. I suspect long-term it is an overall net-negative solution by itself.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#118

Oh good. Another app. When will people learn that more technology is not only not always the answer, but often the problem? The biggest fallacy of the 21st century is the idea that the shortcomings and collateral effects of the advance of technology can be addressed with more technology. I'm not against technology. I'm not a neo-Luddite. But at the same time, the conception that all of the problems we've created or e…

Let's have a game, what or when in history had so much negative side effects as today (mass networked) computing ?

I miss the peace of mind of buying a box with a CD and use it in my bedroom carelessly.

But beside me, landline phone, kitchen appliances, they were mostly zero worries (beside their own isolated quality).

Maybe car safety was a social struggle at one point. Maybe gas powered lightning was too ?

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#119
post #40
post #26

Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone. The immediate cost of being alone is going down. We need to understand, no matter how much a person has read or introspected their behaviour or are kind at their heart - no one will every be able to live up to the expectations of millions of people on internet. This is why relati…

May I ask where you are from? What confuses me about your post: Why do the girls of your town data guys from abroad but the guys do not date girls from abroad?

And also how many international long distance relationships are in the town. Especially compared to how many single guys are there. Given how hard it is to keep long term long distance relationship and additional complication of intercultural one, it is super unlikely that planes are flying there every weekend full of boyfriends.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

have you been outside recently? I mean outside without a phone for a couple of months. Give yourself a no-data diet, and just observe what is going on in others. Wait alone at a bus-stop or alone at a pub or cafe. You can see them addicted to their screens everywhere. It's the norm now to immediately reach for the phone because god forbid they might otherwise feel 2 seconds of boredom. They are no longer human as far…

>god forbid they might otherwise feel 2 seconds of boredom. All the other things aside, this is, in my opinion, the worst part, and will have the longest, most negative implications for society. Boredom is when you are allowed to explore your own mind, daydream, think about things. We have eliminated it. Anecdotal - we live 45 minutes away from the nearest "city" with grocery stores. We do not let our children use te…

Agreed, and to add another thing: Ignorance (or wonder, mystery, surprise)

there's a paradoxical duality about progress. It was defined as a way to remove the cost of previous eras. You couldn't go far (solved by transportation), you didn't have time (tools), you were curious (wikipedia).

By optimizing everything away I think we damaged a big part of the very unoptimized nature of life.

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