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Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

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Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#41

Post by watwut »

econcon wrote: post #26

Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone. The immediate cost of being alone is going down. We need to understand, no matter how much a person has read or introspected their behaviour or are kind at their heart - no one will every be able to live up to the expectations of millions of people on internet. This is why relati…

On the other hand, leaving abusive or manipulative person is a good idea - you are better off alone.

And dating addicted gamer that also drinks or takes drugs sounds like special kind of hell. It would just make her suffer in bad relationship where she has no meaningfull companion and partner.

No girl can cure any of these. And guys like this won't change after starting to date a girl - not for long. The idea that she will civilised him by her presence is bonkers.

Hardcore gamer culture is not the "you found a girl stop playing that much" culture. It is "you don't play enough you are weakling get gut looser, if girl stopping you from hobby she is bad partner" culture.

Amd real life dating activities are boring compared to excitement of gane for gamers. Even if he wanted to stop instantly, it is trully hard.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#42

Post by fxtentacle »

dannyw wrote: post #32
paul7986 wrote: post #22

Solution to loniliness on the internet is be decent looking, hot or the vision of what ppl want (aka the beauty standards we're programmed to desire). Those who fit that mold probably aren't the target audience for this app. Overall the Internet and the dating/hook up apps I believe are one of the problems to the loneliness epedemic Ive read about (all or many of us are too judgy online). People being immediately jud…

I have made close friendships from people on IRC without ever knowing who they look like. Sure, that’s what tinder is, but you don’t have to use tinder.

Me, too. But I wouldn't be able to imagine IRC chat as a VC-fueled iPhone app without ruining it's charms.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#43

Post by fxtentacle »

donatj wrote: post #31
mjevans wrote: post #11

The root cause of this is pretty much entirely greed. Greed in the form of housing policies where that is used as a tool for investment, rather than an investment in the community. Greed in the form of a missing integration in to society and support for all who are in it to at least a basic level of guarantee. (Popular example, Star Trek utopia) Greed in the form of profits being squeezed upward rather than shared as…

I’m guessing you’ve never actually been lonely. I am not lonely because of greed. I am lonely because my friends have all married and moved away to start families. I am lonely because I have always been socially awkward and being in my mid 30s with less time and energy than ever the prospect of trying to make new friends is a terrifying maze. I go to meetups and other social events and put myself out ther but connect…

I wonder how you came to the conclusion that you're socially awkward, because in my experience people behave so differently depending on context that I would bet you that there's a crowd where you would feel right at home.

It's probably not the stereotypical club party crowd, but that's OK.

None of my friends met their long-term partner in a bar or club. All of them were doing things as a hobby and then accidentally met someone or got introduced by a common friend.

Two of my friends met their girlfriend (now wife) through World of Warcraft. Turns out people bring their curious sisters with them to the guild meeting, so even if the guild is all guys, you might meet a girl at the meetup. And if you're into Wow, you will surely be a lot more confident connecting with people on a Wow event.

The trick is not to try learning to meet people like in cliché movies. The trick is to figure out where to go so that you can have fun and meet people accidentally.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#44

Post by watwut »

apatters wrote: post #39
watwut wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Divorce rates are going down and went down for years.

Total numbers of divorces have trended down modestly in recent years, but as a percentage of marriages they are still at historic highs. Prior to the 1970s only a low single digit percentage of marriages ended in divorce. It then rose steadily and is something like 50% now. The marriage rate has also declined since the 1970s. Fewer marriages and more divorces have compounded to result in far fewer families per popula…

No, divorce rates are going down since 1980 or so. Rates, not just absolute numbers.

It peeked sometime after divorces became easier and more socially acceptable. And when women could be trully independent after divorce (her having job makes her less likely to stay when things go wrong.) Another peek was after WWII when quick marriages made before war were failing.

Also, single digit divorce stat of 1960 hides a lot of bad relationships with partners that hate each other, abuse each other, domestic violence and where one partner is alcoholic. The divorce there is an improvement.

At the time, you effectively had to marry else be discriminated against. Single men were seen as neurotic and thus less promoted in work etc.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#45

Post by econcon »

watwut wrote: post #41
econcon wrote: post #26

Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone. The immediate cost of being alone is going down. We need to understand, no matter how much a person has read or introspected their behaviour or are kind at their heart - no one will every be able to live up to the expectations of millions of people on internet. This is why relati…

On the other hand, leaving abusive or manipulative person is a good idea - you are better off alone. And dating addicted gamer that also drinks or takes drugs sounds like special kind of hell. It would just make her suffer in bad relationship where she has no meaningfull companion and partner. No girl can cure any of these. And guys like this won't change after starting to date a girl - not for long. The idea that sh…

>And dating addicted gamer that also drinks or takes drugs sounds like special kind of hell. It would just make her suffer in bad relationship where she has no meaningfull companion and partner.

That happened once they accepted that they'll find any relationship - everyone they were interested in, rejected them and they gave up.

>No girl can cure any of these. And guys like this won't change after starting to date a girl - not for long. The idea that she will civilised him by her presence is bonkers

Do we always live for ourselves? Do we never try to live up to expectations of our family or friends? Or those who believe in us, being on our side in life?

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#46

Post by kerkeslager »

hellotomyrars wrote: post #4

Incredibly vague statements parroting known talking points with 0 substance to show for it. I hate to be cynical but all this `tech to fix the social problems created by tech` really brings out the cynic in me. Realistically I know that we do need new solutions but the solution to a drinking problem isn't to deliver better, more mindful alcohol. Edit: To the comments below, I am not asserting that tech has actually c…

Yeah, I agree. I want SO BADLY to believe in this, and so far I haven't found anything that I can clearly see is wrong. But I've NEVER seen a company succeed by doing something legitimately prosocial, so my default position isn't trust here.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#47

Post by kerkeslager »

watwut wrote: post #44
apatters wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Total numbers of divorces have trended down modestly in recent years, but as a percentage of marriages they are still at historic highs. Prior to the 1970s only a low single digit percentage of marriages ended in divorce. It then rose steadily and is something like 50% now. The marriage rate has also declined since the 1970s. Fewer marriages and more divorces have compounded to result in far fewer families per popula…

No, divorce rates are going down since 1980 or so. Rates, not just absolute numbers. It peeked sometime after divorces became easier and more socially acceptable. And when women could be trully independent after divorce (her having job makes her less likely to stay when things go wrong.) Another peek was after WWII when quick marriages made before war were failing. Also, single digit divorce stat of 1960 hides a lot…

> No, divorce rates are going down since 1980 or so. Rates, not just absolute numbers.

Okay, apatter's claim without citation was bad enough, but if you're going to directly contradict something someone says, link your damn source!

I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying nobody wants your opinion on what the stats are, when we can have the stats themselves!

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#48

Post by kabacha »

In a world where there are literal conferences on how to psychologically abuse people to spend money in your app I feel that I'd never trust any sort of app that aims "help my psychologicall health".

Combined that with the fact that this whole "reveal article" has no actual substance and trying to sell me the idea and emotion rather than a feature makes feel that I'm being manipulated already and I hadn't even opened up the app yet!

I feel that the "app" medium has lost any credibility for providing solutions of this sort.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#49

Post by DyslexicAtheist »

TekMol wrote: post #40
econcon wrote: post #26

Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone. The immediate cost of being alone is going down. We need to understand, no matter how much a person has read or introspected their behaviour or are kind at their heart - no one will every be able to live up to the expectations of millions of people on internet. This is why relati…

May I ask where you are from? What confuses me about your post: Why do the girls of your town data guys from abroad but the guys do not date girls from abroad?

pretty girls (without money) have access to a wide pool of potential candidates, while a charming boy without cash won't. This is what I see in Eastern Europe. Some towns are also dying because of this (the other reason is availability of jobs ofc)

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#50

Post by watwut »

kerkeslager wrote: post #47
watwut wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, divorce rates are going down since 1980 or so. Rates, not just absolute numbers. It peeked sometime after divorces became easier and more socially acceptable. And when women could be trully independent after divorce (her having job makes her less likely to stay when things go wrong.) Another peek was after WWII when quick marriages made before war were failing. Also, single digit divorce stat of 1960 hides a lot…

> No, divorce rates are going down since 1980 or so. Rates, not just absolute numbers. Okay, apatter's claim without citation was bad enough, but if you're going to directly contradict something someone says, link your damn source! I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying nobody wants your opinion on what the stats are, when we can have the stats themselves!

Given that he opposed me first, if direct contradiction is what requires source, he should do it anyway.

I literally dis this to very whether I am right: https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-sam...

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