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Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

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Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#21
post #8

Incredibly vague statements parroting known talking points with 0 substance to show for it. I hate to be cynical but all this `tech to fix the social problems created by tech` really brings out the cynic in me. Realistically I know that we do need new solutions but the solution to a drinking problem isn't to deliver better, more mindful alcohol. Edit: To the comments below, I am not asserting that tech has actually c…

Your comment (along with statements in the article) presumes that tech is the root cause of these problems but in my opinion this assumption is faulty. Concurrent to the rise in loneliness, depression, anxiety etc. we have experienced a rise in geographical mobility, single parent households, and the divorce rate. Which means that for many, the traditional social networks people relied on for support during hard time…

>the real root causes of our growing mental illness epidemic are too difficult to face

When this form of issue arises, it seems to be a recurring human pattern to attempt all of the possible alternatives before facing the root causes directly.

It sounds like you're proposing that the actual root causes include a move away from families and geographically proximate friends. I'm curious to hear more -- if you have a deeper sense of other root causes, possible solutions, or how we might implement more family and geographically proximate connections, given technology's increasing power to increase geographic, emotional, and economic mobility.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#22
Solution to loniliness on the internet is be decent looking, hot or the vision of what ppl want (aka the beauty standards we're programmed to desire). Those who fit that mold probably aren't the target audience for this app.

Overall the Internet and the dating/hook up apps I believe are one of the problems to the loneliness epedemic Ive read about (all or many of us are too judgy online). People being immediately judged and swiped right on (throw to the bin) without ever getting to know someone. Someone who might make you pee your pants with laughter!

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#23
post #11

The root cause of this is pretty much entirely greed. Greed in the form of housing policies where that is used as a tool for investment, rather than an investment in the community. Greed in the form of a missing integration in to society and support for all who are in it to at least a basic level of guarantee. (Popular example, Star Trek utopia) Greed in the form of profits being squeezed upward rather than shared as…

[flagged]

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#24
post #18

I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. I was early investor with Chrys Bader previously on his startup Secret. He was a YC batchmate of mine from 2008. I watched him build an initial prototype that had the chance to be a real social network that had very high long term retention, but in the end the company didn't invest deeply enough into moderation and the long term retention cohorts went d…

Friendships are everything — keep them close and cultivate them. If it’s through investments, building tech, do it.

The market is a beautiful thing; it will quickly and swiftly tell you if you’re right or not. No need to fret over any apologetic comment.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#25
post #18

I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. I was early investor with Chrys Bader previously on his startup Secret. He was a YC batchmate of mine from 2008. I watched him build an initial prototype that had the chance to be a real social network that had very high long term retention, but in the end the company didn't invest deeply enough into moderation and the long term retention cohorts went d…

Friendships are everything — keep them close and cultivate them. If it’s through investments, building tech, do it. The market is a beautiful thing; it will quickly and swiftly tell you if you’re right or not. No need to fret over any apologetic comment.

I'm curious about whether the most successful products to solve loneliness will be ones that help people connect virtually, versus connect in person. Maybe a healthy balance of both?

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#26
Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone.

The immediate cost of being alone is going down.

We need to understand, no matter how much a person has read or introspected their behaviour or are kind at their heart - no one will every be able to live up to the expectations of millions of people on internet.

This is why relationship advice on internet is such a joke, whenever anything happens, advice that's given to them is "leave this person, this person is abusive, manipulative, you deserve better". They follow the advice and end up alone and convince themselves that being alone is best.

Now, about the people who want to pursue romantic interests,the game is soo different now.

Long ago, girls from my town only dated local boys. They had to do with what's available to them locally but these days, one girl tells me that their boyfriend is coming to see them on weekend from Italy, while others boyfriend is coming from Greece, etc... Meanwhile men of town have drowned themselves in video games, porn and drinking/drugs because they've no meaningful relationships - they told me they feel like loser because girls aren't interested in them.

Yes, the men they are with are wayy better than what's available locally. Better according to preference of those girls, not according to me. Can I blame women for choosing best available to them? No. Many guys will do same provided they had the opportunity.

If romantic interests is not what you wanna pursue, it hardly matters if you are not very attractive - you can find plenty of people are church, at beach or anywhere where you see people. Finding people to spend time with us not difficult at all provided you can fulfill the minimum required to not put off the people.

I am pretty sure when people say they are lonely - they are talking about absence of people in their life who care about them or make efforts to make them happy or go out of their way to make them feel special, cared for, treasured. Who doesn't want this?

How technology can solve it?

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#27
post #18

I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. I was early investor with Chrys Bader previously on his startup Secret. He was a YC batchmate of mine from 2008. I watched him build an initial prototype that had the chance to be a real social network that had very high long term retention, but in the end the company didn't invest deeply enough into moderation and the long term retention cohorts went d…

Do you think that catching lightning in a bottle still matters as much as it did in 2004 - 2013ish, or do you think there's an argument to be made that we're now in a post-lightning-in-a-bottle era?

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#28
post #18

I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. I was early investor with Chrys Bader previously on his startup Secret. He was a YC batchmate of mine from 2008. I watched him build an initial prototype that had the chance to be a real social network that had very high long term retention, but in the end the company didn't invest deeply enough into moderation and the long term retention cohorts went d…

Do you think that catching lightning in a bottle still matters as much as it did in 2004 - 2013ish, or do you think there's an argument to be made that we're now in a post-lightning-in-a-bottle era?

Asking the question implies you have an answer ... I’d love to know what you see

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#29
post #18

I invested in Ikaria and feel like someone should speak up here. I was early investor with Chrys Bader previously on his startup Secret. He was a YC batchmate of mine from 2008. I watched him build an initial prototype that had the chance to be a real social network that had very high long term retention, but in the end the company didn't invest deeply enough into moderation and the long term retention cohorts went d…

Do you think that catching lightning in a bottle still matters as much as it did in 2004 - 2013ish, or do you think there's an argument to be made that we're now in a post-lightning-in-a-bottle era?

I mean, odds are you’re never going to catch lightning in a bottle. This has always been the case and always will be.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#30

In my opinion, with regards to friendship, there is simply no substitute for an in person conversation. I happily drive 6 hours to see my best friends for a weekend; that's at least $70 in gas as well. FaceTime just isn't the same and I have a hard time imagining the people in my circle (the same type of people I would like to meet) spending their time trying to meet people on an app.

I also value in-person conversation. But my experience has increasingly been that my circle of friends is up for having dinner or whatever, but during the meal everyone is looking down at their phones and they only have half of their attention on the conversation. When your friends aren’t entirely present mentally, then even in-person meetups can make you feel lonely.

Try to get your circle of friends more engaged and present if you can.
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