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Can someone recommend tools, hacks or techniques they use to run a perfect one-on-one meeting (tools like https://PullPanda.com , https://Gitalytics.com or https://valycs.com )?
When did 1:1's become manager interrogation sessions? What happened to just connecting and providing space to talk about whatever is on the emp's mind?
Questions like the above (though not all of them) can help spark discussion and get them to open up. I've personally seen a number of times where team members have a lot to say about something and didn't realize I wanted to hear their ideas on that topic.
Obviously, delivery matters, and choosing a good question is important. If you have a foundation of trust already built (see Psychological Safety research) then a lot of those questions can help.
As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For…
> Personal life nonsense? I'm your co-worker, not your friend. Changing this attitude contributed as much to my doubling and then almost tripling my salary over the course of a few years as much as anything technical did. Your managers and coworkers are human beings and engaging with them like human beings will open doors for you. I pretty much only talk about personal stuff in one on ones, and will use maybe one out…
Also, I can say that the more I’ve opened up at work, the more my career has improved, from finding better-fitting positions to finding interesting and meaningful work within those positions, to enjoying my time at work more, to getting paid more. It’s really worth it. You may want (or may not) want to start by seeing a therapist.
My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…
What a strange, helpless way to look at the world. Employment is not a boss->servant relationship, it's a relationship where both parties gain something. You offer a service, and they pay for that. End of story. They act out? Then you find someone else who needs your services. As a programmer myself, I'm in this great position where there is a shortage of good developers, and plenty of companies searching for good de…
As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For…
> Personal life nonsense? I'm your co-worker, not your friend. Changing this attitude contributed as much to my doubling and then almost tripling my salary over the course of a few years as much as anything technical did. Your managers and coworkers are human beings and engaging with them like human beings will open doors for you. I pretty much only talk about personal stuff in one on ones, and will use maybe one out…
I also realize my lack of genuine interest probably bleeds into my work personality, but there's not much I can do about that. It's not like something is going to magically make me actually care about work, so faking it is the best option I have.
Wow, this is amazing. I can't help but think of all the sarcastic answers I would give the so-called manager with a slight grin on my face. Seriously, I think this list is a potent illustration of modern management bullcrap. Come on guys, don't do this to your team, they are not children...
Sarcasm and cynicism are signs of burnout. If ones arrives there, change to a job which actually is satisfying for you. No need to spend yourself and others on unhappy job.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Employment is not a boss->servant relationship It is, for the vast majority of employed people. > it's a relationship where both parties gain something. For the vast majority of employed people, what they gain is the ability to continue to afford food and shelter. Most jobs do not afford the economic reality necessary to allow the employee a position of being able to afford to bargain as anything approaching an equ…
If your boss is taking the time to give you a 1-on-1, then there is an opportunity for both sides to listen to each other. If you have problems/complaints and you never say anything about them, then don't be surprised if they never change. If there is a 1-on-1 meeting happening, then a communication channel is open. I suppose you can choose to cynically shut it again, but if you make that choice, then don't be surpri…
There ars a lot of things in life that are like this, IME. There's a cynical or pessimistic way to look at something (often an interpersonal thing), and if you assume that it's true, then whether or not it was true, it becomes true for you. In those cases, the only rational thing to do is act as if it weren't true.
Example: incels. Lots of people have rough lives and have a hard time developing socially in all kinds of different ways. It sucks. Sometimes that leads to guys who have a fundamentally hard time interacting with women they are attracted to, which can lead to downward spirals of rejection and misery. Some guys cope with this by becoming incels or redpillers or whatever. "Girls don't like me, I'm so sad" is transformed into "Girls don't like me because girls suck and society sucks and it makes me awesome". It's really depressing, but there's a rationality to it in that it trades pain for anger without changing the situation. But even if someone isn't an actual incel type, once they assume that identity and start to believe it, they'll become one, which is why it never does anyone any good to start thinking of themselves as incels or redpillers. But this isn't just about incels. There are innumerable self-fulfilling, self-destructive viewpoints out there, in which even if they're rooted in elements of truth, it doesn't do anyone any good to accept the viewpoint.
Other examples include the Golden Rule, taking the high road, etc. EDIT: meaning, the notion that the Golden Rule or taking the high road all the time is for suckers, therefore you shouldn't do it. It assumes the worst in people, and if you live your life that way it ensures that you have bad interactions with people that reaffirm your already-cynical viewpoint.
But, uh, I may have gone off on some tangents there. Sorry HN. TL;DR even if your 1:1's with your boss suck, don't give up on trying to make them more constructive.
My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…
Many of these will come off as frustrating and manipulative. When I, a manager, ask “what is the biggest obstacle facing you and how can i remove it,” I’m offloading the manager-level work of identifying blockers for my team on the individual. And hey, that might work, your teammate might have an insight you’re missing. But then, if they do have that insight, you’ve volunteered to do a shitload of work for your team.…
I can only imagine the horror of working in a team where obstacles are not communicated immediately and have to wait for such meetings. This screams in inefficiency and frustration. The job of the manager should be to implement a culture of open feedback and actively resolve obstacles as they come up. Most of these questions come straight out of the waterfall playbook.
I think this depends on the type of obstacle.
If the obstacle is something like "I can't figure out which service my code is supposed to be reading its data from" then yes of course that should be resolved immediately.
On the other hand, if the obstacle is "I'm worried that team X might not meet their promise of giving us deliverable Y in 2 months, and I can't agree with project manager Z on an appropriate backup plan" then you can probably wait for a weekly meeting.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> career development is more of a once per year thing If you see it that way, it's a never thing. Career development is an always thing.
Fair. And you're right, I personally don't care about career development, but that's not an option to tell your manager.
You have zero interest in more money, less boring projects, etc?