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1-on-1 meeting questions

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Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#61

Post by skizm »

As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For your feedback, I'm just going to tell you whatever I think you want to hear. Am I happy? Not really, but more because I'm stuck with a 9-5 for the next decade and obviously I'd never tell a manager that... what's left? Personal life nonsense? I'm your co-worker, not your friend. The less I know about other people's personal lives the better.

> I’m trying to make my 1-on-1s better and would appreciate your honest feedback on this one — what did you like about it, and what could be improved?

Make them optional or email me your canned questions so I don't have to squirm trying to think of an answer on the spot that will keep the status quo and get me out of the meeting without any "action items" for the next one.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#62

Post by PragmaticPulp »

pfarrell wrote: post #60
ratherbefuddled wrote: post #52

Contrived wooden questions like these would be a solid reason to not work for a manager. If someone isn't able to empathise with other humans well enough to discover how they're doing without trying to artificially manipulate a conversation with a checklist, they certainly shouldn't be managing anybody. Just talk. Do it often and do it honestly. That's all.

I read the list as inspiration for opening new conversation when you run out of things to talk about, not as a script to be read verbatim. If you’re a manager, a danger is that you end up with blind spots from only talking about the positive or getting confirmation bias. I see this list as prompts to break out of that trap. A danger of the 1:1 is they devolve into status updates.

> I read the list as inspiration for opening new conversation when you run out of things to talk about

IMO, if you've already covered all of the topics in other meetings then you shouldn't extend the 1-on-1 for the sake of filling time.

Let people get back to work.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#63

Post by RotaryTelephone »

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay!

I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc with the status quo. When you, your manager, his manager and the next guy up are just cogs in a machine churning for years through the same kinds of faceless conglomerates - you either shut up and put up or end up on someone's Excel spreadsheet highlighted in yellow. Then during the next round of layoffs (you know they're coming) the yellow cogs will be replaced with fresh green ones and you'll be out on the street cramming algorithm questions all over again and interviewing with A.I. HR filters for the next 6months. Understand where you work before opening your mouth, people ;)

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#64

Post by [deleted] »

ratherbefuddled wrote: post #52

Contrived wooden questions like these would be a solid reason to not work for a manager. If someone isn't able to empathise with other humans well enough to discover how they're doing without trying to artificially manipulate a conversation with a checklist, they certainly shouldn't be managing anybody. Just talk. Do it often and do it honestly. That's all.

[deleted]

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#65

Post by hnrodey »

skizm wrote: post #61

As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For…

tbh (without knowing anything else about you, maybe caught you at a bad moment) this attitude is going to stunt your career development and growth more than you can possibly imagine.

Are you wrong with any of this? Not at all.

But letting it drip over in to impacting the quality of your relationships is detrimental to yourself and everyone around you. It's also disrespecting the contributions you make to the team, project and company. You're more than just a warm body pressing buttons.

Good luck mate, wish you the best.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#66

Post by BurningFrog »

ratherbefuddled wrote: post #52

Contrived wooden questions like these would be a solid reason to not work for a manager. If someone isn't able to empathise with other humans well enough to discover how they're doing without trying to artificially manipulate a conversation with a checklist, they certainly shouldn't be managing anybody. Just talk. Do it often and do it honestly. That's all.

> Just talk. Do it often and do it honestly. That's all.

One good thing to always keep in mind:

What comes easy and effortlessly to you can be a real struggle for others.

Some people need help with things that you find utterly trivial, just like you probably struggle with things others excel effortlessly at.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#67

Post by BoorishBears »

RotaryTelephone wrote: post #63

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…

Some people have already optimized their careers never to work at a place like this.

I don't think it's even that hard to avoid.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#69

Post by lonelappde »

rwilson4 wrote: post #57
ratherbefuddled wrote: post #52

Contrived wooden questions like these would be a solid reason to not work for a manager. If someone isn't able to empathise with other humans well enough to discover how they're doing without trying to artificially manipulate a conversation with a checklist, they certainly shouldn't be managing anybody. Just talk. Do it often and do it honestly. That's all.

I treat them as prompts. I’ll give my team as much fore notice as possible what the topic will be and ask them to really think about the question in advance. Otherwise the conversations are often shallow. My team often writes out their thoughts and we go through it, it’s been pretty successful I think!

That's giving them extra homework and stress on top of worrying about deliverables and the problems they already care about.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#70

Post by divbzero »

RotaryTelephone wrote: post #63

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…

Agreed with parent to take 1 on 1’s lightly as just an avenue of conversation. If there is an adjustment you’d like to see, try to suggest it constructively and you don’t have to wait for a 1 on 1 to do so.

That said, the “big list” here is directed towards managers and, for a manager, picking out one of these questions now and then as a conversation starter could uncover issues or opportunities that you could address early and make someone just a little happier at work.

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