Legit question: I have a dataset that's a terabyte in size spread over multiple tables, but my queries often involve complex self joins and filters; for various reasons, I'd prefer to be able to write my queries in SQL (or spark code) because it's the most expressive system I've seen. What tool should I use it to load this dataset on RAM and run these queries?
I'd give Google BigQuery a shot. Should work fast [seconds] and scale seamlessly to [much] larger datasets and [many] more users. For a 1 TB dataset, I have a hard time imagining crafting a slow query. Maybe something outlandish like 1000[00?] joins. They also have an in-memory "BI Engine" offering, alas limited to 50GB max.
On premise, there is Tableau Data Engine. I don't think they offer a SQL interface, you have to buy into the entire ecosystem.
Long shot: I've been working on "most expressive query system over multiple tables" as an offshoot of some recent NLP work. Your use case piqued my interest. I'd love to help / understand it better. My contact is in my profile.