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Reasons not to become famous

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Re: Reasons not to become famous

#301

Post by throw18374 »

ruminasean wrote: post #157

I am publicly in close proximity to someone famous for my job and with a modest (~15k) Instagram following because of that, I've experienced most of this behavior to one degree or another. I was completely unprepared for it and it really freaked me out. I love the Bill Murray quote, and I've been living by this, also from the article: "You want everyone to know your name and no one to know your face.” It really seems…

I hate to admit this but I wrote 3 of these woe—and-misery letters in the late ‘90s, when I was a teenager.

One to Bill Gates, one to Bill Roper, and another to Chris Metzen.

I didn’t send them expecting a response, and didn’t even really consider that. The act of writing it down and throwing it out there just lifted my mood somehow, like throwing coins in a fountain.

I didn’t choose Bill Gates, Bill Roper and Chris Metzen because I was expecting anything from them. I chose them because they were significant to me, and connecting what I was going through to them somehow provided relief and made things feel surmountable.

Not saying that’s how a perfectly healthy brain thinks, but that’s how teenage me felt at the time.

The people writing you might be the same way?

Next time you get one of these letters, just think of yourself as the fountain they’re throwing the coins into.

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#302

Post by sneak »

orasis wrote: post #165
sneak wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have yet to encounter anyone who had any issue with it. Personally, I work at home and wouldn’t want anyone in the building who potentially had access to my office (it’s locked, but still) to not be under NDA at the very least. Opportunistic lawsuits make the liability waiver part important. Hurt feelings when dating necessitates the non-disparagement clause. Several times I’ve had people I’ve politely rejected say…

Creepy AF

Why do you feel that way?

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#303

Post by graeme »

airocker wrote: post #277
sergioro wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

An extra reason for being famous (could be included in #2 of the above list) is to amplify your positive impact in the world. E.g. if Bezos wasn't famous i'd probably never learned about his business strategies (costumer first, risk taking & innovating, etc). IMO this is the best reason for being famous.

Bezos possibly does not want all consumers to know his name or he would have named Amazon "bezos" much like "ford". --bezos fan

Ford motors. It was still a descriptive name.

“Bezos everything store?” Harder to start. Amazon allowed flexibility. Can’t infer from choice.

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#304

Post by DantesKite »

JohnStrangeII wrote: post #133
coffeefirst wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Alternately, everyone has dumb thoughts from time to time, and the bigger and more tempting your megaphone, the more you risk shouting it out before having the chance to wake up 3 days later thinking "wow, that's completely insane." This is also one of the reasons I abhor twitter. Everything is RIGHT NOW. Really, nobody should send a message to 1000+ people without sleeping on it or getting a second opinion.

Most people are also easily flattered and everybody is naturally opinionated. It's hard to keep your ego in check. For example, you see respectable scientists and artists write a popular book, then the next one (because their publisher nags them), then a third one that is borderline unprofessional (no time, publisher send ghostwriter), and so on. Maybe some of them realize that a best seller can yield a lot of money…

Tucker Carlson once said it was hard to see his flaws after success because “everything about the experience reinforces what you’re doing.”[1]

Fame can be a funny teacher in that respect. The feedback you’d normally get after making a mistake can be smothered by all the praise and money that still pours in, irrespective of the decisions you make (at least in the short-term).

After a while, you can end up being this cartoonish version of yourself, trained by the preferences of other people and what they like and don’t like about you.

I think it’s how celebrities end up in situations where they’re blindly unaware of things that seem obvious to most people or act out in strange ways (like Bill Cosby making a distasteful Fat Albert joke before he goes to court, Kevin Spacey making videos in the persona of Francis Underwood, Britney Spears shaving off her hair, Dave Chapelle’s self-induced “exile”, OJ Simpson posting Twitter videos, and of course Kanye West’s song “I Love Kanye” where he sardonically talks about all the different things people want from him).

[1] https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2019/12/tucker-...

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#305

Post by philippoi »

cletus wrote: post #195

So I only see three reasons to be famous: 1. The attention and adulation is your drug. I think there's no shortage of people who fall into this category. 2. To convert that fame into opportunities you wouldn't otherwise have; and 3. To convert that fame into money. Obviously if you're just plain rich then (3) is moot. If you fall into (1) then money can buy you fame to a degree. So that leaves (2). Wealth will give y…

> I don't think I'd want to be ultra-wealthy (as in a billionaire+). At that point you're almost removed from society. I imagine you end up moving in circles with other ultra-wealthy people that are actually quite small. You risk being a target of the desperate, the criminally minded (fraud, kidnapping, blackmail, that sort of thing) and the mentally unstable.

That's been the reality of Denmark's richest family (richest ever since CF Møller, head of Mærsk, died a few years ago). They've had numerous run-ins with people after a slice of their wealth. This lead them to keep as far from the public eye as possible (according to one piece I read) until they were the most talked about Danes of the season last year, as they tragically lost 3 of their 4 children in a bombing that was aimed to wipe them out.

It's hard to imagine a worse scenario to survive as a parent or sibling.

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/04/22/three-children-of-danish-bil...

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#306

Post by throw18376 »

throw18374 wrote: post #138

This is tangential to the article, but James being “a frequent commenter on his blog and a huge help to other readers” was my first sign that he was not mentally well. Immediately knew things would not go well for him in this story. People often say this as a joke, but I think it’s 100% accurate: Internet comment sections have a strong self-selection bias for the mentally unwell. I’ll include Twitter, Facebook, Reddi…

i think you are completely right about this. for one thing, mania/hypomania can lead people to compulsively post, in the same way that it can make people hyper-talkative IRL. sometimes people taking stimulant drugs or having adverse reactions to other medications can end up in a similar state. to me this explains a lot of the strange behavior on the internet, in aggregate, although i make an effort not to diagnose individual people on the basis of some internet comments.

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#307

Post by opportune »

afpx wrote: post #119

Regarding the stalking ... Reminds me of a recent "Hidden Brain" episode - about "Secret Friends" - people of whom others believe to be friends but aren't. The show implied it's fairly easy for the Human Brain to develop a belief those whom are seen or heard often are friends, even if not known personally. Tim mentions feeling that he is a tribal leader of millions of people. And, he definitely has the attention of t…

I've heard of podcasts being described as "friend simulators" because of this phenomenon

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#308

Post by jkaplowitz »

graeme wrote: post #192

Can anyone comment on his statement that having mail delivered to your house puts you on searchable commercial lists? I’m wondering if it’s actually physical mail that’s at issue, or rather having your home address as say a billing address on a site you buy something from. This one seemed fairly tough to avoid 100%, so I want to know more about the plausibility.

Even billing addresses can be the off-site mail delivery services. Banks do need to know your physical address in the US due to the Patriot Act, but they don't have to put it in your statement or treat it as your billing address.

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#309

Post by prepend »

graeme wrote: post #265
prepend wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked for a company that bought mailing lists and linked them to public records. We didn’t sell to marketers but it did open my eyes that anyone who isn’t prohibited will sell info. Some industries (utilities, banking) are prohibited from selling customer info. But most aren’t. If you ever subscribe to a magazine, donate to a charity, enter a sweepstakes, etc your info goes into commercial lists.

Gotcha. So not just physical mail: anything with your physical address on it that isn't prohibited from selling it may do so.

Cynically, that’s how I operate. A friend donated to Southern Poverty Law Center and never ordered anything. They entered their address on the credit card form and now gets mail from dozens of orgs including about a piece per week from SPLC.

Re: Reasons not to become famous

#310

Post by komali2 »

m3kw9 wrote: post #258
acoustep wrote: post #245

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fourth reason: To be to be remembered after you’re gone.

Thing is, nothing matters to you after you are gone. Unless we become ghosts that can observe. Unlikely

That may be what you believe, but it's a fringe belief. I point to every statue, every hospital named after someone, every estate still generating income for non profits, every example of suicidal selfless sacrifice in history as evidence.
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