31–40 of 172 posts
Consider MDMA-assisted psychotherapy. It has shown great promise in treating PTSD, even severe, treatment-resistant PTSD.[1][2] [1] - https://maps.org/research/mdma [2] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MDMA-assisted_Psychotherapy
Keep your head up! 99,99% of this planet doesn't have mental health insurance. I had no idea it even existed.
1. Realise work is subservient to life, you work to enable life, not the other way around. As such re-evaluate and keep your goal in mind . 2. If work isn't taking you where you where you want to go and worse, if it's hurting you, you need to either find a new tack or different work. I know this is easy to say from a position of privilege, but would it be hard for you to change post or change company?
Firstly - thanks so much for your input. Secondly - I’m concerned about the interim - I don’t want to leave my post here without having a plan. My company is amazing and treats me very well. I just recognize that unfortunately right now I’d certainly be better off in a position where I could work remotely more, for instance. I don’t know how possible or plausible that is. I’m in the process of figuring that out.
With that said, I'd caution you that working remotely is not a panacea. While it can certainly be more convenient in some ways it doesn't mean your workload will be cut back, and you'll have to put more effort into communication. You might also want to consider asking work about is transitioning to part-time or reduced hours instead.
1. Control my thinking. Practicing the basics of cognitive behavioral therapy.
2. Fix my sleep. Going to bed at 10, waking up at six. Eight hours of sleep per day. This requires getting rid of anything that disturbs the circadian rhythm, screens and lights are big offenders. I use f.lux and ultra-warm lightbulbs in the evening.
3. Fix my diet (ties into sleep). Intermittent fasting for at least 16 hours. Avoiding the carb/sugar spikes. I also went Keto for a while. I must advise against veganism.
4. Get exercise (also ties into sleep). Exercise is as potent as common antidepressants with none of the side-effects. A little goes a long way.
5. For work, a four-day work week and a short commute made a big difference.
I don't know if any of these can be left out. I couldn't fix my sleep on its own, without doing the other things. You may think that it's your anxiety keeping you from sleep, but it could actually be your eating and/or the lights keeping sleep hormones away so that you end up awake in bed, thinking. Then if you don't get good sleep, everything else just gets worse.
I feel perfectly stable now. Not fantastic, but stable. It's a process, took me about two months.
I went thru that, without external support over 10 years ago -- basically my ability to concentrate and enjoy work vanished... It took me a year to 'recover' -- I don't think I was ever 100% of what I was before TBH, but it's because it helped me realise that there isn't JUST work that matters. I am a lot more pragmatic about work these days, and I no longer 'live to work' as I did before. I don't know if any of thes…
Here's what I do, in a somewhat similar situation. 1. Control my thinking. Practicing the basics of cognitive behavioral therapy. 2. Fix my sleep. Going to bed at 10, waking up at six. Eight hours of sleep per day. This requires getting rid of anything that disturbs the circadian rhythm, screens and lights are big offenders. I use f.lux and ultra-warm lightbulbs in the evening. 3. Fix my diet (ties into sleep). Inter…
Edit: Also, great advice for OP :)
A reputable therapist ought to offer a free first session (or half) to see how you two get along and it gives them a sense of what you're struggling with. It may take a few tries to find someone you click with (or a competent one), but stay at it. The exact modality does not matter so much as the quality of the relationship between client and therapist; Bowlby's attachment theory explains this in more detail (e.g. secure attachment == good parenting).
I went through burnout a few years ago (quit the badly run by sociopaths startup), went thru a good period (i.e. taking time off), got desperate for work (bad idea, but couldn't focus on what I'd planned to (aka get out of IT))), got a job, things were ok - and then went downhill again (the dead cat bounce) due to various environmental factors and also not really addressing some internal issues. So don't do what I did.
As for the job, you can always get another one (you're young enough). Again, don't do what I did - I had a ton of responsibility in the startup job and so put up with a lot of crap because a) I thought I was indispensable, b) all the tech was my baby, etc. At the end of the day, I finally realized too late I owned zero equity and the founders were deliberately exploiting me. Your company sounds much better, but still, too much identification with "the job" is endemic in IT and tends to lead to burnout.
And the PTSD worries me for some reason... just my intuition. So don't procrastinate (like I did...) Good luck.
[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/therapy-types/integrative...
[edit] I see you have a psychiatrist - good, but you should do talk based therapy also IMO - it may be my biases, but psychiatrists are only appropriate for biological based issues. It is the difference in the training. A stereotype perhaps, but when debugging software, do you immediately reach for the soldering iron and start replacing chips?
Then try to start helping people in anyway you can, like crossing a road, or buying coffee for a stranger, or go to a elder community..
These kinds of small acts will give your breathing space to think and enrich the mind and bring in more positivity.
Always remember that first thing is to get out of bad thoughts.. Therapy as someone said might also help , but it comes to affordability.
Priotize health for sure. That's the base. Everything else will come easier on a foundation of good health.
Thanks so kindly for the confidence of this statement. I feel like I’m gaslighting myself - if that makes any sense. So many confusing lines of thought that all seem valid, that settling on one just seems tough.
So I know unwanted advice should not be given, but I can't help writing my little version down. What has helped me fix my anxiety, concentration and procrastination issues is vipassana meditation - but you need a certain level of strength, it is not an easy path by any means. It will probably not help you as quickly as you need right now. I wholeheartedly recommend it though for the long run, once you have the bandwidth. It has the potential to change your life for the better and offer profound self-insight, if done correctly.