61–70 of 115 posts
Take 2 weeks off. Do nothing . Meditate. Breathe. Plant Flowers. Take long, exceptionally pointless walks -- if you find yourself thinking about anything, stop, and look up at the clouds till you recover.
I still plan to leave but now am at a point where things are more manageable so I have time to plan what I'll change my career to. Whereas 1-2yrs ago, I was feeling very low, totally tired all the time, quite depressed etc.
Here are my 2 cents and what helped me:
• Try and find a girlfriend, online dating can be useful. Failing that a female travel partner. This is a big one and made a huge difference for me. The first girl I meet was really not right for me, I mean we had nothing in common but it didn't matter. It's all experience. I regret now not taking opportunities to meet girls earlier when I could have, just because I was scared.
• Travel is good, yes your problems will be with you but you will be seriously distracted, forced to look at new things, experience new things and gain new perspectives. I personally don't think it matters where you go. If it were me, I'd go to a few different places with a rough idea but try to avoid planning too much (like me, that probably goes against your nature!).
• Give the computer a break.
• Exercise is all good and necessary but not the key in itself. Though I can reccomend surfing - I started to learn and even though I totally suck, there is something about it. The message is: if you can find a form of exercise you really enjoy, so much the better,
• Don't be afraid to party sometimes, perhaps you don't have the sort of friends to do this with right now. But if you get the opportunity to go out, have a good time and get drunk do it (occasionally).
• Meditation: yep, mindfulness. Try getting some books on Zen, Adviata or by Krishnamurti.
This sounds really stupid on its face, but try taking Vitamin D. While it certainly won't fix any of these problems, I found it helped my mood a bit and generally made me feel better, health-wise. And worst-case scenario, it does nothing and you're out $10.
Hmmm... you've just reminded me that I ought to be drinking more milk...
So I re-read your post, but you don't really tell us what your problems are.
So, what's the problem, really?
I'd recommend you travel. You write "I could travel, but my problems will just follow me around the world." So I re-read your post, but you don't really tell us what your problems are. So, what's the problem, really?
Travel - Go somewhere that makes zero sense. It will make sense when you get there and when you leave. Athletics - Pick something that is so far out of your reach that it doesn't make sense why you would do it. For example, I just signed up for a double-marathon without having ever done a marathon first.
That's kind of scary. How would I know that I'm not setting myself up for failure by putting up an impossible goal like that?
For example, this advice tells you to do something out of reach. So you will have no chance in succeeding and failure will be to be expected. And so what? What is the problem with that?
The point here is not winning. So I second the advice and tell you to do it. You need to fail and overcome your fears seeing that it's not that big deal. You have to free yourself from the burden of fear of failure.
I recommend that you see a therapist. My therapist's practice is mindfullness-based, which I highly recommend. One of the things I've learned is how to look at all my own italicized parenthetical statements as the bullshit excuses they are. The monkey-mind is what's making up all those stories that you tell yourself about why X is impossible -- it's telling you that you can't possibly found a startup because you've h…
I'm actually quite aware that I'm distorting things with these "bullshit excuses" but they seem so believable, much more so than their negation! It'll probably take deliberate practice to unlearn this habit.
Pick up a new platform... Java tends to drain, come back ready to learn something new. And if you aren't, get some more sun, by your comments, your body is probably wanting a shift into earlier hours? Get up early and hear the birds chirping without having to rush into an office. I think the same thing happened to me from 28-ish to 31-ish. I went back to school and finally entered the game industry and focused on les…
I've learned several -- it's just by circumstance that Java happens to pay the bills at the moment, though I can't say I was substantially happier when I wasn't writing Java.
And if you aren't, get some more sun, by your comments, your body is probably wanting a shift into earlier hours?
But it's so awfully cold in the morning! (cue the criticism about lack of willpower)
Also, set some lower goals for yourself in smaller tasks and get them done quickly.
Will do. I've tried a bit of this recently but the level of satisfaction felt disproportionately small... but that could just be my mental filter.
Also, play some Red Dead Redemption or your video game of choice. They can really help reduce stress and provide escapes to clear your head after a day of work or when you need to shift to relax.
As a former video game addict, I'm terrified of a relapse.