231–240 of 453 posts
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May I ask what treatment is working for you?
Probably stimulants. I’d be curious to know because I’d rather not take stimulants...
That said, stimulants at doses that affect ADHD don't necessarily to come with other physical side effects.
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The big question for us is, do we consider the parts of our behavior caused by whatever we suffer from to be part of our identity or personality? I do not now. I used to -- I had a fairly major crisis of identity after my diagnosis, because a very large chunk of what I considered to be my personality turned out to be ADHD symptoms. I literally had to refind myself. But it turned out very well, because now I define my…
I've dealt with this quandry! Oh man, sure, the medication makes me a better member of society... but am I killing the old me? Am I discriminating against the old me? In taking the medication are we declaring the me I was born as a dysfunctional useless person? I actually came to pretty much the same conclusion, I prefer being the me that is clear headed - the medication is a requisite for that and I dislike that che…
It is gonna sound cheesy, but what got me into my current mindset regarding it was a quote from the recent Elton John biopic. When Elton was struggling with the identity crisis and trying to articulate the mismatch of who he was vs. where he saw himself being in the future, one of the characters told him "You got to kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you want to be".
For myself personally, I concluded that we are simply who we are at any given moment. There is no "real me", there is only "me" at a point of time (given that I act genuinely, of course). If I act differently after drinking alcohol? That is still me. If I undersleep and act cranky for the rest of the day? That is still me. If taking the meds is what it takes to kill off the parts of me that I was born with that impede the current me, then so be it.
I realize that it is a really reductionist mindset not comprehensively describing the reality, but it helps me to come to terms with myself and somewhat describes the situation as I perceive it.
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> the danger is that they're fun I don't know about others, but fun isn't the word I'd use to describe the ADHD medication which I'm basically chained to for life because I cannot function without it, and yet causes me so many other problems that I need to work around or cope with like loss of appetite (food is no longer a thing I enjoy), insomnia, anxiety, restlessness and mood swings. Where's the fun part again? Ar…
> But in the beginning -- especially if you've never experimented with stimulants recreationally -- you'll feel better than you ever have. Stimulants are euphoric. It's a trap, it wears off. Side-effects are likely. I've said it in a previous comment, but it's profound and interesting until it's not, and once the stimulants are gone a dark depression is very possible. As I said further down. It's most certainly not f…
I have been on and off stimulants many times, short, medium and long intervals. The worst that happens is when I go off I've got no energy at all for 3 days.
When I would restart stimulants I would get the euphoric effect for a time, and then it would fade away over a few weeks. I have never been tempted to chase it.
Everyone's mileage is different.
This article spoke to me, I bookmarked it and will probably recommend other people around me read it. I was especially moved by the parts about being traumatized by people treating you like you’re a bad person. Made me realize that I’m trying to fight off a depressive episode currently that was probably made significantly worse by my former lover(the breakup/cheating being what caused the episode) constantly acting this way, despite knowing I had ADD.
One part sticks out though as being overly optimistic,
> “and even if you stop taking them or can't get them later you'll still have those accomplishments. Maybe the emotional impact of seeing yourself finally achieving things will be so encouraging that it'll eradicate your feeling that you can't accomplish anything - speaking from experience, it will.”
I have to put this in context: So a little over a year ago I lost my job, I had been able to, thanks to adderall, move up to a pretty good position at a small business, that very unfortunately went belly up due to a new landlord who no longer wanted said business in their space and an inability to move due to the business being effectively grandfathered in. About a year later, as part of my breakup I suddenly lost my place of living and as a result, my new semi-decent job. Even with my good job I had been mostly priced out of psychiatric medicine for a couple of years. I didn’t get employer based health insurance, and individual ACA insurance has been getting more expensive every year. This was fine at first, which made me not make the necessary sacrifices to keep myself medicated, but over time my symptoms regressed. I’m now making like 20% of what I was when I was medicated and the hill to get back to a satisfactory career position feels utterly monumental.
I now feel effectively trapped by my ADHD, which is completely resistant to being fixed by healthy routines. Since I broke up and moved back in with my parents I’ve been exercising daily— lifting weights and running—have a pretty amazing diet, meditate, have a group of old friends to socialize with, have good sleep hygiene, and after 4 months of all this I’m still struggling to improve my situation, I’m still depressed, my ADHD is as bad as ever and I’ve made basically no headway in terms of reestablishing a career. And the fact that when I was on adderall I was the me I’d always wanted to be, able to start (and finish!) things I wasn't interested in, not waste (mountains of) time losing things and keep track of time effectively is now completely out of my reach, really brings me down, a lot.
I SO BADLY want to update my website and work on a software/tech project. I’ve even gotten as far as figuring an original project out, doing research and wire framing the design. But I’m now stuck in analysis paralysis and my road to Getting There(tm) keeps shifting. I should obviously get on benefits, I paid into the system and deserve unemployment, but every time I’ve tried to get on it there’s problems. I‘m on Medi-Cal but apparently I need an office visit to get reregistered in my new county, I ironically got my benefits card after I got kicked out, after a 6 month process; ADHD makes signing up and getting benefits a nightmare, I’m constantly forgetting to do the next step or miss an appointment. Doubly bad when you’re depressed as I struggle with feeling persecuted.
I recognize I’m really an asset in the workplace but I need to make moves to find a job and prove my skills. I see people’s job hunt infographics where they apply to like 100’s of companies, and it’s honestly baffling to me, it takes me the better part of a day to tune my resume and write a cover letter I’m happy with.
ADHD is not a disease. It’s a collection of symptoms that have been arbitrarily grouped together. My son’s psychiatrist who was diagnosing my son for ADHD said that it’s psychiatry’s dirty little secret. Back in the 60s or 70s ( I can’t remember what he said) people were starting to notice that kids were having behavioral problems, trouble focusing etc. So what they did was collect a group of symptoms, and then arbit…
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I'm very fortunate that I learned how to read at a very very young age. As such, I'm an incredibly fast reader, when reading for comprehension, I'm close to 700 wpm. So reading to me is easy bc I can read faster than my mind can get distracted. I think that's the hardest part of ADHD, you'll always find some exceptions to the "rules" used to diagnose it.
Hmm, I have no idea what my wpm measure is, but I've never been able to identify with the perception of ADHD being something only low-IQ kids have. People I know with ADHD-symptoms are typically bright and creative, above-average humans.
"Long form" is at least partly a function of reading speed.
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May I ask what treatment is working for you?
Probably stimulants. I’d be curious to know because I’d rather not take stimulants...
I would highly recommend see a doctor if the only thing holding you back is not wanting to do medicine. Mine was supportive and left the decision up to me. I went for around a year before starting and once I started I could def feel the difference -- it's not huge, but it's...a gentle nudge? If you find a doctor who isn't supportive of not using meds, find another doctor. It can be a bit like dating, where if something isn't working or priorities aren't aligned, then you move on.
Best of luck!
Thousands of words and no mention of diet. I was diagnosed ADHD in 5th grade, tried just about every medication out there, and never landed on a workable long-term solution until I modified my diet. Medication always had mixed results. Many allowed me to focus and better control impulses, but the emotional crash at the end of the day was too much. Others caused insomnia or palpitations. Cutting sugar and limiting car…
> but everyone with ADHD should at least try cleaning up their diet. It's a no lose option. It is extremely difficult for someone with ADHD to change their diet. It's difficult even for neurotypical people. I know that it and exercise are obviously beneficial, but from experience there's a "loss" in that trying and failing consistently to improve my lifestyle really takes its toll on my motivation and self-esteem. No…
I'll do this when I find myself slipping, too.
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So I'm not a researcher, just a sufferer, but my understanding is that yes, emotional regulation issues are common with ADHD. Attention-deficit is kind of a misnomer; a lot of doctors now think "executive functioning disorder" would be a better name. Executive functioning is sort of the layer that sits on top of our underlying systems - whether they be behavioral or emotional - and allows us some level of conscious a…
Poor executive functioning is why I could never make myself start writing a paper prior to the day or two before it was due, despite the rising sense of panic I would get for weeks. (This is key -- it's not laziness, because good lord did I wish I were able to do the work. To me, lazy ~= apathy, and what I felt was just about the polar opposite of apathy.) That sounds like a good explanation for why I've been avoidin…
Meditation helped me to deal with ADHD immensely. My ability to focus and concentrate is now on par if not better than most of my peers, though it requires me to spend about an hour every day in the morning to meditate. I find that it’s very much worth the time investment, and would recommend anyone struggling with focus/anxiety to try it themselves.
Attempts at meditation immediately becomes rumination, where I play through all the conversations I could possibly have in the coming day (and exploring the worst case scenarios), which leads to elevated stress, which makes the ADHD tendencies worse.