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ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

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Re: ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

#2
About getting treatment: it's extremely irritating that some people judge using Ritalin is somehow morally wrong. Yes, I get that "lifestyle changes" could help, but I don't want to change my lifestyle.

Imagine if there was a pill to reduce risk of cardiac arrest, with some increased risk of something relatively minor. Can you imagine the uproar if cardiologists denied prescribing the pill, instead forcing people to spend 30m a day running? Sure, it's "better" in some metrics to just run, but that's their choice to make. Doctors should be doctors, not moral guides.

Source: been there

Re: ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

#4
post #2

About getting treatment: it's extremely irritating that some people judge using Ritalin is somehow morally wrong. Yes, I get that "lifestyle changes" could help, but I don't want to change my lifestyle. Imagine if there was a pill to reduce risk of cardiac arrest, with some increased risk of something relatively minor. Can you imagine the uproar if cardiologists denied prescribing the pill, instead forcing people to…

There's another weird factor. Ritalin is an upper and it's stigmatized to take an upper - either your performance, judged by coworkers, will be equivalent or below theirs and the stimulant is seen as the only thing keeping you in your job (which can get super depressing internally) - or, if you're doing well in your position, it can breed internal and external doubt as to whether your performance would just be normal and is being boosted by the drug.

It's kinda hilarious that, when going off Ritalin, things don't slow down (or become "less upped by the upper") they stop - this article touches on it but ADHD can feel the most torturous when it impedes even your leisure - especially when coupled with depression. Ever spent a day off staring at a wall dreading the possibility that you might waste a day until you realize the sun has gone down? Yup, so much fun.

Re: ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

#5

I think there's an important distinction between hyperactive thought and hyperactive outward activity. Most people associate ADHD with the latter when it's really more about the former, as this essay describes well.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s because of this. I don't habe hyperactice activity so never thought I could have ADHD. And since I can't see how someone else's brain works, I didn't realize things with me were not normal. It was quite exciting to realize that a lot of things I struggled with could he explained.

Re: ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

#6
For anyone with ADHD who finds this long article difficult to read, I'd suggest reading it with the BeeLine Reader browser extension (I'm the founder, and anyone who wants a free 1-month pass can email me via my profile). It makes walls of text and long articles in general easier to stick with, and is fairly popular in the ADHD community.

This article works best in Clean Mode, which also reformats the text into a column.

Sorry if this is too off-topic/self-promotion-y, but hopefully it helps some folks.

1: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/beeline-reader/ifj...

Re: ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

#7
As someone who spent a good chunk of their childhood and young adulthood just thinking I was garbage and morally weak this article really spoke to me. Going on medication meant the difference between being an effective human, partner, and worker, and being a depressed ball of goo stuck in a retail job.

Re: ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

#8
post #4
post #2

About getting treatment: it's extremely irritating that some people judge using Ritalin is somehow morally wrong. Yes, I get that "lifestyle changes" could help, but I don't want to change my lifestyle. Imagine if there was a pill to reduce risk of cardiac arrest, with some increased risk of something relatively minor. Can you imagine the uproar if cardiologists denied prescribing the pill, instead forcing people to…

There's another weird factor. Ritalin is an upper and it's stigmatized to take an upper - either your performance, judged by coworkers, will be equivalent or below theirs and the stimulant is seen as the only thing keeping you in your job (which can get super depressing internally) - or, if you're doing well in your position, it can breed internal and external doubt as to whether your performance would just be normal…

I keep it very closely that I am on any sort of medication because of the stigma. At this point in my life I refuse to allow someone else to have an opinion of what my doctor and I decide I need to be healthy.

Re: ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

#9
I was diagnosed in 2019 after a long series of conversations with a therapist following a work disaster that nearly cost me my job. Getting diagnosed was like finding the missing piece of the puzzle regarding my life. My schooling history suddenly made sense, the poor financial decisions, etc. everything became clear.

The biggest thing I realized is how tightening feedback loops is the key to my productivity, I gravitated towards python because it's interpreted nature meant I could get feedback on my code in 20 seconds max as opposed to 3-5 minutes waiting for my code to build.

Adderall is a help but is not a cure all, it took me months to learn how to use it right, at first Adderall just fueled my ADHD and made everything worse. It's a constant struggle and maladaptive perfectionism is still the one thing I struggle with the most. I can't count the times of I've completed reverted my git sandbox to start from scratch after reaching a certain frustration level with code.

Re: ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

#10
Thanks for mentioning that not everybody responds well to Ritalin. I was medicated with it while in grade school, and it was not pleasant; the school nurse would check my mouth to make sure I took the pills each morning, because I would spit them out otherwise. To this day, I am not interested in taking medication for my mental health.
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