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Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

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Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#261

Post by Gravityloss »

brlewis wrote: post #181
Gravityloss wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a saying. A cat get satisfaction from stalking, chasing, catching, softening, killing and eating the prey. The system wouldn't work if it only got satisfaction from eating. People can get satisfaction from things like receiving admiration (depends hugely who gives it) and thus be motivated by it.

I hope the cat analogy is helpful to someone. I can't help pointing out an inaccuracy though: > The system wouldn't work if it only got satisfaction from eating. Many predators only hunt when they're hungry, and it works fine for them. Housecats are an exception. Humans have bred them to be "good mousers", meaning they don't stop killing when they're no longer hungry.

That's a good point. Wild animals tend to be a lot more determined and energy conserving. A dog runs around wildly while a wolf goes in a straight line. Many domesticated animals do tend to behave like juvenile wild counterparts. Wolf cubs play - even if that doesn't solve any immediate problem for them (it develops them).

But for example many wild animals collect food and stash it for later use. Tits, squirrels. Again, I assume they don't really plan months ahead, but just fill an urge to stash stuff.

Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#263

Post by gdubs »

Dr [David] Burns is one of the people who helped popularize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in his book, “Feeling Good”. It’s cool to see these ideas becoming validated through studies. I’m not very familiar with ACT, but as an offshoot of CBT that includes a mindfulness component, it sounds fascinating.

Burns talks about the “do one small thing” strategy in his books, and (anecdotally) it can be very effective. When you’re at a point where even the small step seems impossible, he has tips on drilling into the underlying emotions. Ultimately, your brain sees the discomfort associated with not working on something as outweighing the discomfort of actually doing it. Often, this is a cognitive distortion — which CBT aims to help one sort through. And sometimes the task really isn’t worth doing.

I know I go on a lot about meditation in my comments, but (again n=1) it can help clarify thoughts and emotions — particularly the kind of cognitive distortions that lead to self-destructive habits. Now I’m curious to learn more about ACT...

Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#264

Post by ithkuil »

asdkhadsj wrote: post #234
d4nt wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“The ideal timeframe to use for the reward function” is an instance of an age old question about what’s really important in life. Most people agree that taking lots of heroin and dying in a matter of months is suboptimal. Most people also agree that living a life of utter sacrifice in pursuit of some higher goal might not be good either. You might be working on something pointless. Some self interest is actually bene…

In addition to everything you said, there is also optimization issues of your goals. Eg, I like to think of myself as a very long term focused person (over the last 10 years, at least) , but my ambitions outweigh my energy. So I have to balance in short term "play" as a way to destress and enable long term progress. The fact that we're not robots in that sense makes this even more complicated as we can't just choose…

If robots had a complicated feedback loop that would force them such complicated requirements such as taking care of them selves too, they would face the same challenges.

Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#265

Post by hoorayimhelping »

Brave-Steak wrote: post #203
throwout98423 wrote: post #180

I went 35 years of managing to be a capable, but never exceptional, achiever -- in high school, college, and in my career. I've also been a terrible procrastinator all during that time. It was never evident to me in school because I'd get the same grades as the kids working substantially harder than me. However, once I got into the workforce, and it took me many years to realize it, that performing to the "mean" was…

> ADHD (particularly the attention side, as an adult) I take it that means hyperactivity wasn't one of your symptoms? I have the suspicion that I suffer from ADD (you basically described the same life I've had), but the hyperactivity part makes me unsure of myself.

If you have a suspicion that you have ADD, I'd highly recommend you to talk to someone who specializes in adult ADHD and get their opinion.

I got diagnosed with ADHD 10 years ago at age 26. It's nice to get a confirmation, like "yep, the reason you threw a book at a kid in kindergarten and couldn't explain why (sorry Narek) was cause of poor impulse control related to ADHD," but it's not a satisfying conclusion. I mean, I still threw a book at a kid for no reason...

You can have ADHD and not have all of the symptoms - I can focus on a sigle task for a long time just fine, but I have a hard time sitting still in a chair (even when I'm gaming, I'm constantly shifting around in my chair, sitting on my legs, moving my legs, tapping, etc.)

It's good to put your feelings and emotions into context, but at the end of the day, you're still on the hook for your behavior and your success, and a lot of people use a mental condition as an excuse to never improve or never make hard decisions or take hard looks at their behavior. Don't fall into that trap - ADHD shouldn't define who you are or your behavior, it's just one aspect of the inputs into your decision making process.

I will say that being aware that I have impulse control issues has definitely helped me slow down - I used to have a crazy automatic mouth - I'd just say whatever popped into my brain from my subconscious. A lot of times it's hilarious, many times it's just plain freaking mean. Knowing this was an issue has helped me sort of hijack the wiring from my brain to my communication centers and has given me enough time to not say obviously stupid things. At first, it was me starting to say something, cutting myself off, then giggling and saying "don't worry about it," to teammates when they looked at me like I was a nutjob. As I've practiced more, I can let many thoughts pass without expressing them and just get a little bit of amusement to myself without offending anyone.

Another thing I've kind of owned is the hyperactivity - sometimes I just have to get up from my seat and walk around. I'm up and pacing before I even know what's going on. Getting a remote job has been pure heaven in this regard - I can dance around, or pace and think without bothering anyone. But when I worked in an office and needed to get up and stretch, say during a meeting, I'd jut do it. A lot of times, people would follow suit and realize they were kind of cramped, maybe fading a little bit, and a little bit of activity is just the pick me up you need in an afternoon meeting. The point is - take something that might be a detriment (needing to dance around all day) and turn it into a positive - "let's have a stretch break in the meeting!"

Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#266

Post by agumonkey »

leftyted wrote: post #229
agumonkey wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd be happy to go back to when we didn't have solutions. Call me crazy but I take some pleasure in maintaining good old ways that have balancing benefits for us all in the group. Granted I don't mean having to walk 10 miles with a 50kg bucket of water on my back .. but something that enforces some long time walk, physical exercise, simple team work. Even if that's just to make a shed and not a new k8s cluster to do…

This is the main way people deal with modernity: hobbies that mimic the surface characteristics of "the old ways".

yes, which I find quite sad if not more

Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#267

Post by nsilvestri »

liketothelark wrote: post #258
throwout98423 wrote: post #180

I went 35 years of managing to be a capable, but never exceptional, achiever -- in high school, college, and in my career. I've also been a terrible procrastinator all during that time. It was never evident to me in school because I'd get the same grades as the kids working substantially harder than me. However, once I got into the workforce, and it took me many years to realize it, that performing to the "mean" was…

Your comments echo my experience in every detail. I, too, did not meet a shadow of my potential until I received an ADD diagnosis as an adult. After taking Adderall for the first time, I immediately began keeping a systematic journal of notes (and creating other structures for myself). I remember walking to a store to get the notebook the very day I took the first pill — it was like a revelation. Over the years since…

I've taken ADHD medication once in high school, and I hate how _good_ it was. It makes it so much easier for me to be the person I want to be, to accomplish the things I want to do. But I'm also adequately capable sober; I don't want to become medicated and then feel like I can't be productive unmedicated.

Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#268

Post by gfs78 »

Procrastination is more about dreams, opportunities and possible outcomes than time management and emotions.

If you have the chance to win it big doing something you love you will find the time. If you have less of a chance or you don´t like it that much you won´t be able to find that much time. If what you have to do is something out of obligation or you don´t care at all you will procrastinate.

And it´s fine. It´s your inner compass trying to tell you that maybe this is not for you/wasted effort.

In the short term the best strategy for procrastination is to put your pants on and do it. In the long term is making sense about why you are doing what you do and evaluating if it brings value to your life or not.

Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#269

Post by throwout98423 »

swiley wrote: post #205
throwout98423 wrote: post #180

I went 35 years of managing to be a capable, but never exceptional, achiever -- in high school, college, and in my career. I've also been a terrible procrastinator all during that time. It was never evident to me in school because I'd get the same grades as the kids working substantially harder than me. However, once I got into the workforce, and it took me many years to realize it, that performing to the "mean" was…

After spending 4 years around people high on prescription amphetamines in an engineering school, here’s my impression as someone who was mostly sober: (during the day anyway) They look (to me) like they just make that effect where some people get hung up on certain classes of ideas way stronger, if it happens to be video games you won’t get anything done but if it happens to be math then you’ll probably get very good…

I'm not sure what you consider to be "high" on amphetamines. I take 20mg Adderall XR and don't feel high. It is amphetamine, so of course you could take more, or take IR, to get more of a rush. As someone in their late 30's, that personally has little appeal to me and I'm past the stage of my life where I'd desire to use amphetamines for that purpose.

Re: Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time

#270

Post by KevanM »

agumonkey wrote: post #266
leftyted wrote: post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is the main way people deal with modernity: hobbies that mimic the surface characteristics of "the old ways".

yes, which I find quite sad if not more

Sad in what way, seeing someone develop an 'old way' craft and apply it? Or that it is not more intertwined in the fabric of society?
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