Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#111

Post by mceachen » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 4:42 PM UTC

artpi wrote: post #23

KEEP IT UP! Just 2 weeks ago I have sent an expensive whisky bottle to my highschool Computer Science teacher. He let me manage the school website and that trust has had some influence on my career. Not many people do this and you are really putting a smile on those people faces. I don't want it to sound transactional, but apart from being nice, this is also introducing serendipity and connections into your life. Lit…

I salute your efforts and gesture.

I've been surprised through the years by how many people in my life turned out to be recovering alcoholics. It's not a part of people's lives that they're generally eager to share with students, coworkers or mentees.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#112

Post by krtkush » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 4:44 PM UTC

I got a very similar email few days back about one of my comment on HN. It was definitely a positive experience and something I would do too in the future.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#113

Post by Hoasi » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 5:03 PM UTC

Yes, one thing I try to do is sending them a hand-drawn postcard or hand-written message every once in a while. Little things like that matter, especially when meeting someone face to face is not possible.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#114

Post by dullroar » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 5:14 PM UTC

Yes. Two teachers (one elementary, one college). A former boss. Each helped me by not just expecting more of me, but mentoring me in ways that allowed a bullied kid with little self-respect recognize and grow into my talents. I think it is a great idea and recommend it. As OP said, the conversations that arose from each were great.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#115

Post by whiddershins » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 5:20 PM UTC

If I got an email like that it would make my day.

I imagine most people feel the same way.

So how can it not be good? (Assuming you are being genuine)

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#116

Post by tuckerpo » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 5:29 PM UTC

I'll keep somewhat up to speed with professors that were impactful to me during undergrad, and offer to take them out for a coffee if I'm in their city. It always surprises me how little effort you need to exert to stay on someone's good side. Soft skills will always win.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#117

Post by caseysoftware » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 5:29 PM UTC

Yes, I started doing this with independent authors a few years ago. When I read a book I enjoy, I drop them a note saying "thank you" and citing one thing that I liked about the book. I do not offer any criticism or even a hint of negative feedback.

I have a near 100% response rate - which is usually just a "thanks!" - but I clicked with one author and we've traded book recommendations off and on for ~3 years. He tipped me off to the Passage Trilogy which was great.

Who knew that kind words had a good impact!? ;)

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#118

Post by PaulDavisThe1st » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 5:43 PM UTC

Done some of that. More to do.

Had a couple of phys ed teachers in high school who were not into the usual UK triad of (soccer/rugby/cricket). I had already started ultra-distance running myself, and they supported and encouraged me, including inviting me to go a race (the Manx Mountain Marathon) with them. Having people around who not only told me there was nothing crazy about this sort of thing but who actively celebrated and loved it totally changed my life. I've been an endurance athlete ever since, and about 6 years ago managed to track one of them down (35 years later) to thank them for what they had done. It was a great phone call.

Right now, I'm writing a letter to a semi-famous solar inventor (Steve Baer) who really influenced me when I was a teenager growing up in London. I implemented one of his patents as my high school physics final project (an osmotic heat pipe), and then visited him at his zome home outside of Albuquerque, NM. I reached out to him about 20 years ago to see if he still remembered me, and he said "Of course! You're that Brit kid who built the heat pipe that Hughes stole from me". As fate or luck would have it, I now live about 50 miles north of him in a tiny village in New Mexico, and would like to see him again and thank him once more for the many different ways he influenced my life. Letter should go out tomorrow.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#119

Post by irchans » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 5:49 PM UTC

I called my high school math teachers to thank them after I got a Ph.D. in Mathematics 13 years after I graduated high school.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#120

Post by frandroid » Mon, Jan 20, 2020, 6:37 PM UTC

jonathanstrange wrote: post #36

Unfortunately my Ph.D. supervisor died before I was able to tell him how profoundly his views and criticisms impacted my intellectual life. He was one of those hypercritical people for whom "it's okay" meant more or less the highest praise, both for himself and others. This made him a number of enemies, I believe, and for me, as a Ph.D. student, that attitude could be kind of demotivating at times. However, in retros…

My father was a rather quiet person who was nice, known as a honest and hard worker, and was appreciated by many. When he took his own life, over a thousand people came to the funeral mass. We shook everyone's hand; each and every person was very sad and upset by his unexpected passing. If he had known how many people thought so fondly of him, I think he might have decided to go on living.