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Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

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31–40 of 143 posts

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#31
This is such a good habit. I think that because relatively few people take the time to reach out, even seemingly popular projects (software, videos, lectures, writing, whatever) can leave their creators feeling like they only ever see complaints/bugs. Even a tiny note of thanks means a ton, and can make someone's day. Thanks for taking the time to thank people :)

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#32
post #13

I do this on thanksgiving every year - just reach out to some inspiring artists in areas within my interests but don’t know personally. I do include a P.S. no reply expected; I just want to convey my thanks and appreciation but not accidentally guilt trip them into replying. That part might just be my insecurity though. I’ve been trying to work on writing to more people every year as it can be quite intimidating some…

> I do this on thanksgiving every year

What a nice idea!

When I got my degree in Math I wrote to the high school math teacher who let me take advanced courses even though I did not have the prerequisite classes. She seemed very happy to hear from me, and also I felt that I had done a good thing. Positive all around.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#33
Yes, I’ve thanked several such people. Usually I made the updates a little more newsy (children, where we are living , where I work) when writing an email or a letter. In-person was more organic conversation but of course not always possible.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#34
I think it's a great thing to do and you've reminded me I need to do it more myself.

As someone who has occasionally written things that have found a reasonably big audience, it really is heartwarming to receive messages of appreciation, and a motivator to keep doing what you're doing.

I must confess I haven't always been as good as responding to these messages as I should, usually because I've been going through a tough spot in my own life and have found it hard to find the time and words to convey my own gratitude.

So even if you don't get a reply, trust that your messages are most likely seen and appreciated.

It never comes over as creepy, as long as it's sincere. It can seem creepy if it's a segue into a sales pitch or a request for an intro to someone else, but it doesn't sound like you're doing that at all.

Thanks to your post I have a new intention for this year: make sure I reply to everyone who has sent me such a message (now that I'm in a better place in my life, because these messages helped me get there), and start sending more messages to people who've had an impact on me.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#35
post #24

No. It would come off as weird or creepy just to email someone out of the blue. Also, email is impersonal and seems like you are trying to solicit something from them. If someone had a positive impact on you just tell them when you meet in person. If you are really intent on contacting them for whatever reason, then a personal letter might be better.

I have some Free materials and FWIW at least in my case when I am contacted out of the blue it does not seem weird (I get maybe one a month). People email and send polite, brief, and respectful notes. It would take quite the grouch to not appreciate getting such a note, and I always reply.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#36
Unfortunately my Ph.D. supervisor died before I was able to tell him how profoundly his views and criticisms impacted my intellectual life. He was one of those hypercritical people for whom "it's okay" meant more or less the highest praise, both for himself and others. This made him a number of enemies, I believe, and for me, as a Ph.D. student, that attitude could be kind of demotivating at times. However, in retrospective I realized that many of his snippy remarks were spot on. For example, he once said on a rainy day in front of the blackboard: "So it seems to me that linguistics is very much like economics, not really a science, or at least fairly imprecise." Something along these lines. Then, I got really angry. Now I think he was right.

Anyway, I told his family after he died and I think they appreciated it.

Bottomline of this little anecdote is that if you want to tell someone how grateful you are, don't wait until you can meet in person and just write a nice email, like the OP suggests.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#37
Yeah do it though keep this tip in mind should the conversation behoove a promise/task/bid: underpromise... overdeliver

Basically, never promise more than what you are not able to satisfy, it makes you look irresponsible and like a b-s-er.

And over-deliver. Add more value to others/the_task/bid/promise than what you promised. You’ll have a better foundation with the person and they will regard you as responsible but also helpful/resourceful and that will likely ensure you have good on the table.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#39
post #30

I sometimes email open source authors to thank them for their efforts, I don't ask for anything, just an email to show gratification. I'm more inclined to go to this effort for the projects that are highly useful but not popular since as an author of such a project it is possible to have doubts if benefits from it when you go a long time with no outside feedback at all. The few times people have contacted us with pro…

I've never done this myself, but I've been on the receiving end. And I can say that those emails are really appreciated. It's one thing to get stars on GitHub but that's rather impersonal and after a certain threshold nothing special anymore.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#40
Last year I went to a talk by John Papa where he mentioned that a lot of people seem to think that it's inappropriate to approach speakers to have a chat or tell them that you enjoyed their talk; while in reality, most of them would welcome it. That's why the first thing I ended up doing right after the talk was to thank John Papa for the positive influence he's had on my development as a software engineer. Nowadays, I try to continue my effort to thank people that have a positive impact on me, however small.
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