61–70 of 138 posts
What I mean is: when you dwell on things and focus on them in therapy, are you feeding negative emotions or traits and growing them? Could seeing a therapist make it worse?
I suffered from major depression most of my life until last summer when, after trying to work out what was going on in my head, was able to essentially remove what I thought I was going to live with the rest of my life. So it's possible.
My advice to you, and anyone dealing with mental/emotional health issues, is to analyze yourself. Ask yourself questions about yourself and the environment around you. Follow your own intuition and curiosity, if you really want to get better you will find your own way to do it; you just have to put in the effort to do and look.
You can get better, but only you can do it for yourself.
Have you checked if it's you and not your environment? Maybe you can improve your life by working with and spending time with people who don't put you down?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah, but wouldn't you end up as the stereotypical "mr. Nice Guy"? Also, you have to be a little more specific. For example writing open source software could be considered "volunteer work", but is probably not what you meant.
The stereotypical "nice guy" is a term for someone who thinks they're a nice guy, but then turns into an asshole when they don't get what they want. Not related.
As a child of the 90's, I recall the self-esteem movement. All kids get a ribbon. All kids participate. Tell all kids how good they are. I think the movement missed the boat. The key word is "self" -- it doesn't come from others (though others might help you see it). Kids knew they sucked at a sport; the ribbon didn't really do much. To gain self esteem, you must accomplish things. The good news? You get to pick the…
This is going to sound like circular reasoning, but bear with me: In order to raise self esteem, one must do esteemable things. Volunteer, be kind, let people in in traffic, work out, do these things consciously. You have to spend energy every day. Choose to spend it in positive ways. Note: the results are not instantaneous. Nor are they overpowering. It's subtle, and you often only notice after things have been bett…
Yeah, but wouldn't you end up as the stereotypical "mr. Nice Guy"? Also, you have to be a little more specific. For example writing open source software could be considered "volunteer work", but is probably not what you meant.
You didn't say on what kind issue you have exactly, so I can give you generall advice.
IMO this might help you(if man): * test testosterone level * start lifting (this feels like cheeting when it comes to confidence) * care about yourself * take pride of your work, values, decisions, commitment * get more social * say no, don't conform to others expectations, have FU money
I’m currently reading Feeling Good ( https://www.amazon.com/dp/0380810336 ). It was recommended by someone here on HN. I’m half way through and I’d dare to say it’s already changing my life for the better.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah, but wouldn't you end up as the stereotypical "mr. Nice Guy"? Also, you have to be a little more specific. For example writing open source software could be considered "volunteer work", but is probably not what you meant.
Yes you would. Exactly why when you do not feel good about yourself, dragging yourself into helping others is just going to make you feel awkward, fake and used. Someone who is not feeling good about who they are should probably focus their energy inward for a while.
I've never felt awkward, fake, or used. I've only felt like it's given me community, purpose, and meaning in my life. Your mileage may vary, but volunteering has gotten me through some pretty dark times in my life.