Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

661–670 of 757 posts

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#661

Post by reroute1 »

tomp wrote: post #641
reroute1 wrote: post #638

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Where is your systemic approach and optimization in this example? You haven't given any information on the approach other than find pleasure points. That's not using systems and optimization, so no it's not dehumanizing. If on the other hand you carefully studied adult films, read the kama sutra, and practiced this at every opportunity you might have a systemic approach. And if your partner learned about this I don't…

Not porn and Kamasutra in particular, but yeah I’ve read books, blogs, Reddit, ... definitely experimented a bit (not at every opportunity though). Just because people cringe at some information doesn’t make the whole thing dehumanizing. You’re right though that most people don’t want to know how the sausage / burger is made...

I agree if someone goes about this approach and is respectful of everyone along the way it's not necessarily dehumanizing and there's nothing wrong with it, but regardless it may feel dehumanizing to the person to find out about since that's more about recognizing and optimizing patterns, and less about their individual uniqueness.

For most people it's not really that extreme and to some extent this has to be allowed for. That's the tricky part especially with sex, you want someone who is good at it, but that typically comes with experience. That may make some people uncomfortable. Find a good balance and just call it what it is, young people living life. But it's also a good warning to not "over optimize" and spend all your time going down that route because then some people would rightfully question that kind of behavior. I know I don't want a partner with thousands of sexcapades.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#662

Post by kuzimoto »

coralreef wrote: post #651
kuzimoto wrote: post #561

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that if you do something for large amounts of time, but doesn't bring you much value then it could be considered wasted. The problem is people probably don't realize it's been wasted until later. I used to play a lot of video games, and while not all of the time I would consider 'wasted' I definitely could have used some of the time doing something else that would have made my life better today. There is an o…

Sometimes you can get caught up in a 'grass is always greener' syndrome. That is, imagining that your life would have been so much better had you done X instead of Y. Chances are, in an alternate reality, you'd just be stressing about a different set of things.

I agree and I'm sure that for everything you do, there could always be something better in hindsight.

I was mostly referring to things that you put lots of time into, but don't get much long-term value in return. For example gaming grants you short-term fun, but (for the most part) doesn't give much for long-term. Money/reputation/progression doesn't mean much outside of the game/s you play. In some cases you could "sell" your account, but the amount you get would probably be less than .25 cents/hour that you put in.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#663

Post by CapricornNoble »

reroute1 wrote: post #588
CapricornNoble wrote: post #481

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you ever told a woman, after coitus, how you ran the same Game on them that you've run dozens of times before? Did they get pissed and never talk to you again? I'm going to guess "no", at least neither I nor anyone I know has had that happen. They'll usually just laugh it off / not take it seriously. The empathy and connection has been built successfully, and no amount of ex post facto chastisement about "hey yo…

That's a terrible example and yes many people would be offended by that and not "laught it off", that is highly dependent on the individual and situation. Just because you made a connection doesn't mean you can't destroy it just as easily, by say pointing out the shallow nature of your connection.

>>>That's a terrible example and yes many people would be offended by that and not "laught it off"

Here's the thing: there is a HUGE gulf between how people SAY they will react in that (or a similar) situation, and how they ACTUALLY react. That's why I explicitly asked for actual experiences, not hypotheticals. It's the same thing with the legion of women on Tinder who put "No hookups" in their profile and still have sex on the first date. Actions speak louder than words. Anyone who takes their profile at face value would draw erroneous conclusions about their dating proclivities. Conclusions which are easily debunked by accumulating a significantly large base of in-the-flesh (pun intended) encounters.

>>>Just because you made a connection doesn't mean you can't destroy it just as easily, by say pointing out the shallow nature of your connection.

How are you making a determination that a connection built (however-quickly) on well-rehearsed techniques is "shallow"? Is a connection shallow if years later the other party is still blowing up your phone pining for you? What are the metrics used to assess shallowness?

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#664

Post by MockObject »

dengsauve wrote: post #599

I learned at my first web dev job that no one outside the dev/marketing sphere knows just how much of their visit to e-commerce sites is tracked. From technologies like Hotjar that record your mouse movements on a given webpage, to simple IP address logging (who visited this page on our site, from what referrer, etc.), people really have no clue how closely their actions are being monitored. However, as with lots of…

I'll probably lose 20 points of karma for daring to defy consensus, but: I really don't understand the terror around my mouse being tracked as I hover over a page, or around on an commerce site. Why is this supposed to bother me so much? And judging from the ads I'm served, they aren't figuring out very much about me at all. The most that happens is that if a female friend sends me a lingerie link, then I see lingerie ads everywhere for a week. Lately I've been served ads for Jewish religious garments. I'm not Jewish. They aren't collecting enough information on me, frankly.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#665

Post by CapricornNoble »

anbotero wrote: post #499
CapricornNoble wrote: post #481

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you ever told a woman, after coitus, how you ran the same Game on them that you've run dozens of times before? Did they get pissed and never talk to you again? I'm going to guess "no", at least neither I nor anyone I know has had that happen. They'll usually just laugh it off / not take it seriously. The empathy and connection has been built successfully, and no amount of ex post facto chastisement about "hey yo…

I’m beginning to believe people is pissed because the example was dating, and now they think the whole argument was how some people can be made to do/feel things, instead of a miserable simple example on how even people is a system that can be analyzed (to a certain extend)

HN gets weird about dating-related subjects IMO. Any other topic seems to embrace analysis, exchanging and comparing anecdotes/techniques, and "life hacks", but sex and relationships? Whoa boy, better don your flame suit first...

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#666

Post by reroute1 »

CapricornNoble wrote: post #663
reroute1 wrote: post #588

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a terrible example and yes many people would be offended by that and not "laught it off", that is highly dependent on the individual and situation. Just because you made a connection doesn't mean you can't destroy it just as easily, by say pointing out the shallow nature of your connection.

>>>That's a terrible example and yes many people would be offended by that and not "laught it off" Here's the thing: there is a HUGE gulf between how people SAY they will react in that (or a similar) situation, and how they ACTUALLY react. That's why I explicitly asked for actual experiences, not hypotheticals. It's the same thing with the legion of women on Tinder who put "No hookups" in their profile and still have…

Are you seriously asking me about metrics? You're entire post is a bunch of anecdotes. I'm not basing my response off of any real data and neither are you.

> The empathy and connection has been built successfully, and no amount of ex post facto chastisement about "hey you were just dehumanized and disrespected" tends to register.

This doesn't even make sense. You call it chastisement but then put dehumanized and disprespected in quotes. Why? Are you disagreeing that it's dehumanizing? Or that it actually is dehumanizing and disrespectful, but that doesn't matter at this point?

I can tell you personally that

1. If it's the case that you disagree in it being dehumanizing. Fine, that is your opinion. I disagree and think it is dehumanizing and if someone said that to me after sex I would be pissed and lose interest. How about myself for a reference no data needed. This isn't just about Women on tinder.

2. If it's the case that you agree it's dehumanizing, but because empathy and connection have been built it doesn't matter. Again it's your opinion that it doesn't matter after a connection has been built and I disagree strongly. If you think I'm the only human who disagrees ok... I don't know what the numbers are, and I even stated in another post that there's nothing wrong an approach like this, but some people will clearly see it differently

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#667

Post by kedean »

jl6 wrote: post #6

The taxonomy of jobs that most people have in their minds is extremely simple (doctor, lawyer, teacher, builder, engineer, window cleaner, garbage collector, astronaut, ...) and is mostly based on a grade-school understanding of what kind of jobs people do. But the reality is that there are millions of types of jobs, with incredible variety and specialisms, and the real content of a job is rarely captured in a job ti…

Similarly, the sheer number of auxiliary jobs. Kids are rarely told about the less prestigious jobs that surround and support doctor/lawyer/vet/etc, and if they are it's often as a fallback. This leads to a lot of high schoolers having no idea what to do if they aren't ambitious enough to want to enter the high octane kinds of jobs with years of training. I firmly believe it's a huge contributor to kids heading to college to delay figuring out what to do with life.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#668

Post by 1337biz »

That PowerPoint is the backbone that keeps organizations together. It's like drawing books for toddlers. Keeps them busy for hours, everyone knows how to do it, when it's well done they are complimented and have silly talks about what they did.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#669

Post by nwallin »

kqr wrote: post #504
pengstrom wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked a stint in fast food. I thoroughly underestimated the skill ceiling. Everything from burger wrapping, cleaning, taking orders and inventory could be optimized for time. It took almost a year before I was comfortable and by then I was doing things quickly, consistently and a few at the same time.

Similarly, I once talked to a person who worked at a major airport. Their job? Optimising and overseeing the transport of cutlery. From airplane, to cleaning, replacing broken parts, back to airplane. These things move great distances and they have to be delivered during very narrow time windows. And this has to Just Work for all arrivals and departures. Such a small thing yet so important and incredibly complex.

The biggest problems faced by most companies are logistical problems.

Doesn't matter if it's cutlery, bits, people, or shit. Your company's biggest problem is probably ensuring the right stuff is in the right place at the right time, while also ensuring the 7 other combinations of right/wrong stuff/place/time don't happen.

But most companies don't realize that. They try to frame logistical problems as business problems and try to have fresh MBAs solve it. Half of all startups are some guy trying to solve a general logistical problem for a specialized audience using the cloud.

Old guy at my old job. Retired Navy Chief. Never seen him smoke, but can't imagine him without a cigar in his mouth. His saying was "The important part is getting the logistics right. Everything else is logistics."

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#670

Post by Waterluvian »

lowercased wrote: post #195
spinlock_ wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Regarding the "ejector seat savings account", do I receive something like unemployment benefits when I quit my in the United States? If yes, does it matter whether I quit or was fired? Sorry if that question sounds naive, but from what I read here on HN I'm often not quite sure how the system works in the US.

generally speaking, if you quit or were fired you would not be eligible for any unemployment assistance. it's different state to state, but quit is your decision, and 'fired' is usually for something negative/bad. I've been 'laid off' - terminated but it was reported as no fault of mine - and received unemployment assistance - this has happened to me twice. the 'ejector seat savings' the GP was referring to just mean…

Your interpretation of my sentiment is spot on. Thank you.
Post reply on HN