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Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

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Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#501

Post by kqr »

mitchdoogle wrote: post #444
dsfyu404ed wrote: post #375

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And look at all the planes that don't fall out of the sky and all the financial products that don't cause crisis. The "even rare failures are unacceptable" line of reasoning is simply too conservative to permit our modern society to exist. The resources we would have to dedicate to preventing these kinds of things (don't forget the 90/10 rule) in every case would be astronomical. Imagine if every bit of software had…

If a failure happens because someone ignores their clear responsibilities, then that is unacceptable

People don't just "ignore their responsibilities" out of malice. Generally people "ignore their responsibilities" either because they are pressured into it, or because they are lead to believe it is the right thing to do in that situation.

Either is unacceptable, of course, but the boots on the ground are rarely to blame.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#502

Post by lowkeyokay »

muzani wrote: post #484
jpg_converter wrote: post #442

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree w you mostly but you extended this form of systemic analysis to "making a date happy" which I think is a fundamental misunderstanding of relationships. To everyone reading this: please don't go around treating other people as systems to be optimized! If you wish to think about relationships as systems, you really need to understand that you are a partial component in social systems and therefore a flawed obse…

Yup, it was oversimplified. Relationships are incredibly complicated, but they are still systems. I do believe you should optimize your relationships. Phone your parents. Praise your employees and your boss. Buy things for your spouse when it's not their birthday. Hug your kids and watch their favourite Saturday morning shows. Don't say things that trigger your uncle. A big part of being good in relationships is the…

You definitely have a way with words.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#503

Post by jimmytucson »

fxtentacle wrote: post #169
webew wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is what would now be termed a "blackpill".

No, I didn't mean things in that sort of "nothing you can do about the sad truth" way. Instead, I consider this actionable advice. - Spend time hanging out with other guys talking about shared hobbies - When you like your results, make sure people can see your enthusiasm - Help people look good in front of their peers and they will buy - As a contractor, do what the customer wants, not what you like best - Before you…

Stating it that way really brings it full circle. These sound reasonable, but may run counter your first intuition. Thanks!

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#504

Post by kqr »

pengstrom wrote: post #110
badtuple wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not only that, but the incredible depth of pretty much every field. Not every practitioner dives deep, but the masters of any job leave me speechless.

I worked a stint in fast food. I thoroughly underestimated the skill ceiling. Everything from burger wrapping, cleaning, taking orders and inventory could be optimized for time. It took almost a year before I was comfortable and by then I was doing things quickly, consistently and a few at the same time.

Similarly, I once talked to a person who worked at a major airport. Their job? Optimising and overseeing the transport of cutlery. From airplane, to cleaning, replacing broken parts, back to airplane. These things move great distances and they have to be delivered during very narrow time windows. And this has to Just Work for all arrivals and departures. Such a small thing yet so important and incredibly complex.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#505

Post by [deleted] »

Waterluvian wrote: post #137

Life is fleeting. Most of us here are 1/3 or more of the way done. Divest yourself as much as possible from your job. Find other sources of identity. You don't need that fancy car or to buy a boat as much as you need that ejector seat savings account. And when you realise that conditions have evolved to a point where you're not having fun anymore (and they always eventually do), eject yourself and go spend far more t…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#506

Post by justin_oaks »

jpg_converter wrote: post #442
muzani wrote: post #114

Everything is a system. The economy, society, relationships, nature, traffic. You don't need math to reverse engineer a system. You just need to pay attention to it. You can say the right words to make a date happy. You can figure out which lane is the fastest route, better than Google Maps can. You don't need an app or data - your brain is a wonderful data processing machine. Don't be angry at the people who are ben…

I agree w you mostly but you extended this form of systemic analysis to "making a date happy" which I think is a fundamental misunderstanding of relationships. To everyone reading this: please don't go around treating other people as systems to be optimized! If you wish to think about relationships as systems, you really need to understand that you are a partial component in social systems and therefore a flawed obse…

It's less about "treating other people as systems to be optimized" and more about understanding the "system". Calling people systems may sound cold and calculating, but using that particular word doesn't mean you're uncaring.

I'll interpret the original commenter to mean: Everything is a system with it's own rules. You'll be better off learning the rules instead of fighting the system. Do more of what works and less of what doesn't.

That 100% applies to people, even if you don't like the term "system".

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#507

Post by kazagistar »

muzani wrote: post #114

Everything is a system. The economy, society, relationships, nature, traffic. You don't need math to reverse engineer a system. You just need to pay attention to it. You can say the right words to make a date happy. You can figure out which lane is the fastest route, better than Google Maps can. You don't need an app or data - your brain is a wonderful data processing machine. Don't be angry at the people who are ben…

> If you don't control a system, it will control you

I'll go one further, and say the people controlling the system will control you, often to your detriment.

You are also part of many systems, and your actions affect others in those systems.

And finally, the complexity of all those systems is such that your understanding is always an incomplete model. It's fine t try to change the bad systems with an incomplete model, as long as you seek out better ones as well.

Any given system will have many different models that are all relatively accurate, and you will get the best results not by picking the one that seems most accurate in some instance, but by using the one that is the most applicable to the situation. Models are not truth, they are lenses, and having more options means you can more easily find the one that provides the clearest picture.

Any system of axioms complex enough is incomplete, and starting from axioms is unneccesarily complex. Find the model or foundation that is closest, and make it easier.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#508

Post by Zhyl »

muzani wrote: post #484
jpg_converter wrote: post #442

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree w you mostly but you extended this form of systemic analysis to "making a date happy" which I think is a fundamental misunderstanding of relationships. To everyone reading this: please don't go around treating other people as systems to be optimized! If you wish to think about relationships as systems, you really need to understand that you are a partial component in social systems and therefore a flawed obse…

Yup, it was oversimplified. Relationships are incredibly complicated, but they are still systems. I do believe you should optimize your relationships. Phone your parents. Praise your employees and your boss. Buy things for your spouse when it's not their birthday. Hug your kids and watch their favourite Saturday morning shows. Don't say things that trigger your uncle. A big part of being good in relationships is the…

>I do believe you should optimize your relationships

I agree with your sentiment, but I would reword this to "optimise your responses". All you can ever control, especially in social situations and interpersonal relationships, is what you say and what you do. As such, there are important things you can do to your 'social engine' to optimise your responses for good - essentially adding modesty, kindness and thoughtfulness.

1) Optimise your classifier when meeting new people to be as cognitively cheap as possible while still protecting you from harm. With the lack of knowledge, assume the best of people. Often a positive opening gambit can make the whole relationship easier.

Case study: https://ncase.me/trust

2) Optimise your conversation. Talking to people doesn't need to be stressful or anxiety inducing. If you don't know the person, listen to the words they say and ask questions about them. You don't have to always be thinking about how to make a joke out of the conversation. You don't always have to come up with a relevant anecdote. Let the things you say be positive and affirmative - sarcasm is fine but overuse is expensive the listener, both emotionally and in cognitive load to process it.

3) Optimise your thoughts so that your load becomes more manageable. When you cull out the noise, streamline your inbox/todo/notifications (digital or otherwise) and reduce mental overhead to prioritise tasks, you will find that it's easier to be thoughtful, to think 'outside the box' and to manage a wider range of things. You will find it easier to remember birthdays, be present with your loved ones, buy better gifts, sleep more etc. Do without doing and you will find there is nothing that isn't done.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#509

Post by mncolinlee »

People are not optimal machines. Instead, they make decisions based upon narratives. An inferior product can win based upon a superior narrative or because it was seen more often and recently than a competitor's product.

Generally, a consumer is only looking for one or two features to match their needs. Producing a very simple product with fewer features to match the needs of a key segment is a great way to start building an audience. If people complain about missing features, it's a good sign that they have some interest in using your product.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#510

Post by pwdisswordfish2 »

tombert wrote: post #462

Companies are not your friends, no matter how much they try and pretend they are. When your employer says "we're a family here" or something like that, that's simply untrue. I don't think that the people that say that are "lying" exactly, since "lying" implies intent, and I think most of the time when your manager tells you that they do think it's true. If being a worker at a job were really "family", they wouldn't f…

Implying families are never dysfunctional...
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