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Towards Better Online Dating

blog.adamsmith.cc

21–30 of 88 posts

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#21
post #7

The best data is just hard to collect online. Photos of person in their social group to deduce personality type would probably fail since there are so many variables. Lab scientists can measure biological or physical properties http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGfznq9OgdU&feature=playe... like sweat scent which reveals immune system compatibility. They're getting very good correlations for long term relationships from…

> The best data is just hard to collect online. Photos of person in their social group to deduce personality type would probably fail since there are so many variables.

The fact that there's so many variables isn't the reason such an analysis would fail. The reason is that there's just not enough input to predict personality type with any statistical significance.

There's just so much that could be measured, but whether any of these metrics have any correlation with whether two people can, as the author describes, "just get through dinner" is a very tough question to answer.

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#22
Honestly, I think that meetup.com ends up being a better "dating site" than most sites that actually position themselves as such. As the article says, it's better to just focus on helping people find other people they might be friends with. From there, the relationships just sort of happen. Also, the social distance problem is largely taken care of because of the focus on group activities, and also because group organizers get visibility into the behavior of the members and can, for example, boot the creeps who message every single woman in the group.

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#23

I agree with everything the author said save this: > "Then only allow people to access others they are likely to match against." This only works if you are 100% confident that your matching algorithm is infallible. The odds of this being the case is about 0%. I've thought about this problem some, and I think there are a few unacknowledged issues: - Who you will get along with, and are a good match for, is often diffe…

It doesn't seem like such a pre-mature optimization. If two people are only interested in long-term relationships, it is a tremendous waste of their time to go on 1 or 2 dates for several hours and then discover that things won't work out. Rinse and repeat a dozen times and it certainly makes sense to filter out the large percent of people who don't fit longer term.

Sure more things can be done to boost personality compatibility, but the long-term filters are very useful.

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#24
It's not the backend. Better matching isn't going to work when you're matching snowflakes.

People turn to online dating because they want more options. Put them through your fantastic matching algorithm and out of the 1 million members you supposedly have they are only going to see half a dozen.

So you loosen the matching to return more results. Now they see 15. Why not just skip to the chase and filter based on age, height and proximity? That will get you 90% of the way there.

And people like looking at pictures of potential dates/partners. Let them do the filtering themselves.

That leaves spam and scams, and they can both be reduced with a free-to-flirt, pay-to-contact model. If someone is not willing to spend $5 - $10 to contact you, then they can't be too interested in you. And vice versa.

(I've used online dating sites and I work in marketing for an online dating site)

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#25
post #14
post #8

It would be interesting to see an online dating site which treated users like mailing service providers do: "We really want you to succeed with this, but our priorities are to the ecosystem first and you a very distant second. You're guilty until proven innocent, we're going to invest a lot of effort into educating you in how to suck less, and if we catch a whiff of you being a nuisance you are banned for life." (It…

This, but combined with ookblah's comment -- you only really need to treat the men this way.

I would be flabbergasted if voting some women off the island did not improve $RELEVAMT_METRIC. (Consider just the pathological cases and what they do to the service: scammers, dead people, customers with no engagement in the last year, etc.)

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#26
Wide-open online dating discussions devolve into the same mechanics of "Is College Worth It?" discussions.

It can be interesting to read, but most people will end up broadcasting their life experience masquerading as opinion.

Also, never hire anybody over 28 years old.

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#27
post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

if you want to build a successful long-term dating site you HAVE to cater 90% towards the women Of course. Seems like one obvious way would be to limit the number of emails that men can send per day/week/whatever, so women don't get spammed quite so badly.

An obvious workaround: Multiple accounts can be created. It's that easy. Otherwise if you add hurdles, single account people would be put off from signing up.

Here's a possible system:

  - Free accounts exist.  They have mostly full privileges.
  - A given user can only receive so many requests per period
    of time.  A given user can only receive one request per
    user for a given period.  Others are informed that they
    will be put on a waiting list.  The site could play games
    with the waiting list, like purging inactive accounts or
    increasing the priority of requests similar to ones the
    user has already responded to.
  - Paid accounts exist.  There is at least one incentive to
    pay:  you may skip a waiting list every so often.  The
    cost should be enough to reduce the incentive for account
    cloning and keep the spammers out, as it exists only for
    that purpose.
Desirable demographics (really a euphemism for 'women') would pretty much not need to pay. On the other hand, the site is especially attractive to them because they are not bombarded with messages. Less-desirable demographics would still be able to use the site without paying, but they would be able to pay to not wait around as much.

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#28
post #3

I've randomly thought about this and one thing i can say is that if you want to build a successful long-term dating site you HAVE to cater 90% towards the women haahha. that means making it easy for them to filter, having a safe place where they don't feel hit on by creepers, or provide an arena where they know that the men are "quality", etc. You will always have enough male signups. So for the men it's about balanc…

I am reminded a site that helps girls to find wealthy sugar daddies. They require your tax return slip before identifying as a real millionaire.

I heard that Norway.com is a great dating site for this reason. The entire country has completely open public income tax records.

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#29

Honestly, I think that meetup.com ends up being a better "dating site" than most sites that actually position themselves as such. As the article says, it's better to just focus on helping people find other people they might be friends with. From there, the relationships just sort of happen. Also, the social distance problem is largely taken care of because of the focus on group activities, and also because group orga…

Very good point. meetup.com is another site/service ripe for replacement: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2188969

Re: Towards Better Online Dating

#30
post #19

There is a problem with attempts at making online dating work like "real world" dating. I'll state my reasons for this belief up front: I'm very happily in an almost two year relationship with somebody I've met online (OKCupid) whom I could have never met in person. Before, I've had a happy (even if not lasting) and amicably ending relationships with other women whom I could have never met in person. I'll use my anec…

Agree completely. I met my girlfriend on Match.com (after using Match and OkCupid casually for a year or so).

I sent tons of messages (in total) to girls I wasn't sure I had a chance with (heaven forbid I message someone "out of my league"), and now I'm dating someone awesome. I didn't have any problems with spam (maybe because I'm a guy or something about my profile), or false advertising; profiles are often all too transparent.

Dating sites suck, but they are different from real life in important ways.

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