I'm in the Midwest by the way and have explored moving to Bay area. But here's the reality. Contribute to 401k $19k small 3 bedroom house for family with decent schools - $5k/month - $60k a year Daycare $4k/month - $48k a year Health Insurance, Household Expenses, Food, etc $5k/month - $60k a year Car/gasoline $12k a year Assume 0 savings that's $180k post tax $360k before tax + $19k = $379k.
Wanna save a little bit, we are already over $400k...
... and this is with a small shack of a 1200sq house and 2-3x the commute. It's easy to look at the numbers and drool in the mouth but start running the numbers and it's not that nice for those with family. If you're young and single, then it's worth it. Go do it, rent a room, live like a pauper and save like hell.