Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures • Hacker News Board

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#171

Post by pua » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 1:18 PM UTC

mikece wrote: post #169

firefoxd wrote: post #142

Close to two years ago, there was a show HN for a dating app posted here. I signed up, found a couple bugs, reported them, then deleted the app. Couple month later, I got an email saying that I got a match. Downloaded it again, had a very nice conversation, but I was not attracted. I went to the settings, selected 25 miles radius and Black only. The next match I got was not Black, and over a thousand miles. Now we ar…

You just described the lead character in the movie Hitch: help individuals to relate to other individual people.

You just described what pick up artistry actually is. The association of the world of pick up artistry with a some negative media coverage often taints pick up artistry with some dimly viewed practices, goon coaches and their inept students, but some properly coached match making is something a lot of people desperately need help with.

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#172

Post by buckminster » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 1:44 PM UTC

StavrosK wrote: post #41

daliwali wrote: post #14

Hahaha this will never work for an obvious reason that isn't socially acceptable to state. As soon as looks get involved, it's over.

Why isn't it socially acceptable to state that looks are important? I feel like people are conflating "external appearance matters" and "external appearance is all that matters" and demonizing the former in their attempt to ward away the latter.

I assume the OP isn't talking about beauty.

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#173

Post by asdfasgasdgasdg » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 1:46 PM UTC

gnicholas wrote: post #109

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is also, unfortunately, a moral hazard associated with not having pictures. Such a site will probably tend to attract people who would not be glad to be judged by their appearance, other things being equal. For many, this would decrease the average utility.

I think you mean adverse selection, not moral hazard. Also, I would note that I know some very attractive women who do not put profile pictures on dating sites because they don't want to attract too much attention because of how they look. So this could mitigate the adverse selection problem. When I first heard that some women did this, I started messaging women who had no pictures (or pictures that did not show what…

Adverse selection, precisely so. While I'm glad for you and your wife, I can only suspect that her approach is quite uncommon. If it were common it would quickly cease to work as it became general knowledge that all the folks without profile pics are hotties.

I would offer to test and report back but I have been happily out of the dating pool for going on thirteen years with no intention of returning soon. Two advantages to meeting your spouse via IRL social networks: none of this faffing about with profile pictures -- face to face doesn't lie. And you never have to do witty text message banter.

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#174

Post by ithkuil » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 1:47 PM UTC

quietbritishjim wrote: post #147

ithkuil wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"married with children" doesn't necessarily imply that at least two children come from that marriage; e.g. the spouse could have had a child from a previous marriage

To be fair, it doesn't make much sense to mention them unless they're from that relationship

Possibly. I just mentioned that in reply to a seemingly strong logical conclusion that "it must be" twins. Human communication patterns are not very precise and yet we often tend to jump to conclusions.

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#175

Post by im3w1l » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 1:49 PM UTC

Guest0918231 wrote: post #133

sandoooo wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am going to defeat your system by swiping on the top 20% looks and bottom 20% bios. And everybody else will follow suit once they realize it's an effective strategy. And you'll have a race to bottom.

What's the bottom 20% of bios? "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"? Are you suggesting that attractive people have terrible bios? If so, you're probably right and it would be a decent strategy. That being said, it seems silly to try and force people that only care about looks into caring about bios. Who are we to tell them how to select a partner? Maybe they would be most happy with…

He is saying that he only cares for looks, so he'll go for the less in-demand bios to improve chance of a match.

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#176

Post by Bostonian » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 1:54 PM UTC

People do filter based on education. College graduates usually marry college graduates. I am married and don't have a direct interest in dating sites, but I suggest that people be allowed to state SAT/ACT scores and to filter based on those scores. My wife's relatives looked on her behalf and chose me partly because I graduated from a famous university. I chose her partly because of her profession (physician).

The Rick Singer scandal has dramatized how non-academic criteria affect college admissions. Graduates from HYPS/MIT are on average smarter than other college graduates, but a more granular filter based on test scores would be helpful.

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#177

Post by Bostonian » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 1:58 PM UTC

buboard wrote: post #159

kind of sad that political orientation has become romantically relevant. Other than that , why not add a bidding layer on top? like, everyone starts with 1000 dollars and bid for their favorites.

I am a staunch member of one the two main parties, and if my wife donated lots of money and campaigned for candidates of the other party, that would be difficult for me to accept. Avoiding a lifetime of political conflicts within a marriage may be wise.

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#178

Post by 83hajfjeijg » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 2:02 PM UTC

clarry wrote: post #153

83hajfjeijg wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're assuming attractive people would use this site in the first place. At the very least, I'd expect the attractive to ugly ratio to look quite different on this site compared to other dating sites.

You're assuming attractive people just all want to be drooled at. Maybe they care about personality and are looking for a deeper relationship. In that case, putting up a profile pic is just going to gain them unwanted attention that doesn't further their goals.

What's the point of replying to something like this.

I'm not assuming attractive people want to be drooled at, where the fuck are you getting this shit. Of course attractive people care about personality, but the truth is that the vast majority of people in the world also care about how sexually attractive their partner is.

The only people who would go for a site like this are the people who are or have convinced themselves that they are "too ugly" to compete normally or the tiny, tiny minority of people who are abnormal enough to really not care about attractiveness.

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#179

Post by globular-toast » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 2:51 PM UTC

riversflow wrote: post #76

crca wrote: post #73

What’s the incentive for attractive people? Why would you voluntarily give up a competitive advantage in a highly competitive market? If you’re ugly like me this is great.

Being attractive brings its own host of problems when it comes to finding a mate, especially if you are looking for someone you really relate to at a high level rather than someone who just scratches some primal itches.

Rubbish. Being attractive only makes things easier. Why on earth would a less attractive person have a higher chance of finding a soulmate than a more attractive person?

Re: Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures

#180

Post by CuriouslyC » Sun, Dec 29, 2019, 2:58 PM UTC

firefoxd wrote: post #142

Close to two years ago, there was a show HN for a dating app posted here. I signed up, found a couple bugs, reported them, then deleted the app. Couple month later, I got an email saying that I got a match. Downloaded it again, had a very nice conversation, but I was not attracted. I went to the settings, selected 25 miles radius and Black only. The next match I got was not Black, and over a thousand miles. Now we ar…

One thought I had was an "in person" dating app that lets you see pictures of single people checked in to a specific location, along with the option to show their exact location with a venue map.

The fun feature would be "bumping phones". You could bump phones with people using this app, and it'd share additional details, and give you a list of questions and suggestions of things to talk about that you could ask your date to keep things moving.