Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

hbr.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

51–60 of 277 posts

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#51

Post by OldGuyInTheClub »

zomglings wrote: post #37

This is a thinly veiled advertisement for the author's psychological services - the company they had to start to solve this problem. It is hard to get anywhere in this world without working your ass off. It is a sign of extreme privilege to even have the freedom to complain about it.

Well put. The specific case was not compelling and I wonder whether it is even real. A son of highly achieving attorneys learns that corporate law is stressful? Do tell.

I was reminded of Tom Lehrer's quip about the fictional inventor of the gallbladder, "He soon became a specialist, specializing in diseases of the rich. He was therefore able to retire at an early age."[1]

[1]http://www.casualhacker.net/tom.lehrer/evening.html

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#52

Post by yibg »

nugget wrote: post #7

In my experience extreme workaholism can often be a way to avoid or defer major life decisions that someone doesn't want to make or even consciously recognize. High status careers are often structured, full of positive feedback loops, and well compensated, all of which can strengthen the urge to defer existential questions about meaning, purpose, community, and identity until some unspecified future date, even (perha…

I think it doesn’t need to be due to deferring major life decisions, but rather just youth and inexperience. I spent a few years of my life working 80+ hour weeks, advancing my career. It wasn’t due to deferring some life decisions but rather was just something I felt I needed to do to prove myself and get ahead. I’ve since grown out of this, but I notice this in other younger people around me. Super enthusiastic, always on and available and ready to jump in to work on anything.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#53

Post by yibg »

JMTQp8lwXL wrote: post #49
echelon wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just curious - what's your financially independent number? Are you factoring in cost of living into your ideal scenario, or is there wiggle room for leisure and travel and the like?

$1M, or $40k annually. My rent is about half of my expenses, but I could downsize to a cheaper place and allocate the freed money for travel and leisure. I don't think I'll stop working once I reach $1M. I'd be more open to alternative work arrangements (e.g., temp contracting gigs) closer to $1.5M, to build in wiggle room. Some costs I haven't accounted for (currently subsidized by my employer), like health care, ma…

I’ve had the same goal in mind, to get to a point where I can be more flexible with work arrangements. Maybe work part time or work from any location. I’m struggling with doing that though. I’ve already accumulated enough for me to do this, but my income is at its highest currently, and mentally it’s been a struggle to give that up. For the last couple of years it’s been, well let’s just save a bit more to be safe.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#54

Post by james-mcelwain »

alexpetralia wrote: post #44
nugget wrote: post #7

In my experience extreme workaholism can often be a way to avoid or defer major life decisions that someone doesn't want to make or even consciously recognize. High status careers are often structured, full of positive feedback loops, and well compensated, all of which can strengthen the urge to defer existential questions about meaning, purpose, community, and identity until some unspecified future date, even (perha…

To play devil's advocate, what is to come of deliberating on existential meaning at great length? Do you think you'll find an answer, rationally speaking (that is, using the tools of reason and logic)? Notably, Godel's incompleteness theorems suggest these tools may be insufficient. More specifically, if you try to rationally "justify" what you ought to be doing, you will always be able to - legitimately! - impugn it…

I don't think OP is referring to meaning in an existential or epistemological sense, but rather discussing workaholism as a "practical" avoidant behavior for those who put off dealing with some kind of dysfunction or trauma.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#55

Post by shaklee3 »

JMTQp8lwXL wrote: post #49
echelon wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just curious - what's your financially independent number? Are you factoring in cost of living into your ideal scenario, or is there wiggle room for leisure and travel and the like?

$1M, or $40k annually. My rent is about half of my expenses, but I could downsize to a cheaper place and allocate the freed money for travel and leisure. I don't think I'll stop working once I reach $1M. I'd be more open to alternative work arrangements (e.g., temp contracting gigs) closer to $1.5M, to build in wiggle room. Some costs I haven't accounted for (currently subsidized by my employer), like health care, ma…

I think that works as long as you have no spouse or kids. If you do, that number will be very hard to be independent.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#56

Post by chriselles »

I’ve often seen it with military personnel who fail in their transition from their military to post-military lives.

Some people invest so much of themselves into just a singular self-identity they are permanently anchored to it unless/until a forcing function compels an existential change.

I believe competing interests for time such as passions/hobbies and side hustles provide bridges from one employment career to another.

However, the mirror to workaholism is having too many passions/hobbies and side hustles outside of work leading to distraction and dilution.

Broad, deep, and substantial focus on singular topics/areas is important, for a time.

People want their lives to have meaning, often measured thru impactful and measurable work.

But not at the expense of losing one’s option to seek balance and joy.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#57

Post by cryptica »

nugget wrote: post #7

In my experience extreme workaholism can often be a way to avoid or defer major life decisions that someone doesn't want to make or even consciously recognize. High status careers are often structured, full of positive feedback loops, and well compensated, all of which can strengthen the urge to defer existential questions about meaning, purpose, community, and identity until some unspecified future date, even (perha…

For me work is what I enjoy the most about life. I would do it for free - In fact I worked on open source projects for free for almost a decade. Including some successful/popular ones.

That said I still feel burned out. I've come to realize that not only did the work I do for free not give me any financial advantage (which I expected), but the people who've hired me over the past few years don't seem to recognize that work as being valid work experience.

I'm 30 years old but what I've found over and over again is that managers will give promotions to 35 year olds who spent most of their lives playing video games.

From my perspective, the people described in this article sound like they have it pretty good. What I need is merely for people to realize that I'm actually a 40 year old work-machine trapped in the body of a 30 year old human... Maybe if I can achieve that, then I will eventually reach a high point in my life when I can afford to have problems with self-actualization like those described in the article.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#59

Post by makecheck »

I’ve seen a few “20 year” or “30 year” managers. I can’t help but wonder how their methods might have varied if they had been exposed to even one other organization’s way of doing things. Also, do they subconsciously value “company-loyal” employees over others with equivalent or superior experience?

Generally I feel that varied experiences matter more, even if you get unlucky and spend a handful of years in a less-stellar team.

Post reply on HN