Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed • Hacker News Board

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#211

Post by AnIdiotOnTheNet » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:25 PM UTC

Someone1234 wrote: post #145

klipt wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ironic that people don't want to meet someone off an app without "sniff test" conversation first, yet are happy to meet strangers at a bar with no prior knowledge of them whatsoever. I guess it's just a lingering bias that makes us think "dating app people are creepy" even though today the people you meet in a bar are probably all on dating apps too.

> Ironic that people don't want to meet someone off an app without "sniff test" conversation first, yet are happy to meet strangers at a bar with no prior knowledge of them whatsoever. Consider the "social contract" of both situations. With the bar situation you can literally leave immediately with no social expectation that you should have to interact with that person again. With the "date" typically they're alone (…

> With the bar situation you can literally leave immediately with no social expectation that you should have to interact with that person again.

There are plenty of first date options that make this easy. I was fond of minigolf because it goes relatively quick and you can either opt to play more rounds or hit the eject button with a half decent excuse.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#212

Post by malux85 » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:27 PM UTC

rich_ard wrote: post #195

malux85 wrote: post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Where did “white” come into it? I can see how such a system would benefit the rich, but would it benefit a rich white more than a rich black? No. Why are you bringing race into it?

Whites are favored on dating apps (e.g. https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3244459 ) and the model proposed would make that division pretty explicit

how would it make the division explicit? Be specific. How would the pay to play messaging system benefit a rich white more than a rich black?

That’s the very specific point we are discussing, and my claim is that race is irrelevant in this discussion. If you have evidence to the contrary on exactly that point then I’d like to hear it.

Not some hand wavy vague generalisation on a tangential point, how would a pay to play messaging system benefit a rich white more than a rich black?

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#213

Post by viklove » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:28 PM UTC

empath75 wrote: post #139

brenden2 wrote: post #8

I've thought about making a new dating app. The existing apps suck for 2 reasons: in most markets men are at a significant disadvantage because of how men and women differ in the way they approach dating (and there's also a significantly unfair male:female ratio in many markets). Additionally, none of them are really designed to get people off the app, but rather they're built to increase engagement and keep people o…

> in most markets men are at a significant disadvantage because of how men and women differ in the way they approach dating This is such a ridiculous thing to say. A significant disadvantage compared to _who_? Other men? That sort of negates your statement? The women on the platform? Men aren't competing against women on the platform to find a date, for the most part. I think you're sort of dancing around the issue t…

It's not at all a ridiculous thing to say... Men and women have significantly different experiences using dating apps, and if you were able to release an app that solved the problem many men face (being completely ignored for years), you would probably capture a large segment of the market.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#214

Post by noirbot » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:29 PM UTC

anewguy9000 wrote: post #125

Jedi72 wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Soounds like OP just wants to formalize the existing process. Dating is expensive!

maybe its cuz i live in the country and not silicon valley, but my last date was a walk which cost nothing :) our second date we made a dinner together which also cost roughly nothing. we just like each other's company <3

That doesn't mean they're not expensive in other ways - It's enjoyable, but actively dating can be both emotionally taxing and just time-consuming, especially in the initial stages when you're working out if you like someone, or just looking for someone at all.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#215

Post by hombre_fatal » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:30 PM UTC

nradov wrote: post #163

jressey wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Over and over I got excited that I was going to meet a person who ostensibly had a lot in common with me, and it just never was the case. I also continually got the same search results all year.

It's hardly fair to blame the dating service for your unrealistic expectations. Having a lot in common isn't a sound basis for a relationship. Most first dates never turn into anything; that's always been the case and it's just how humans work. It's not surprising that you got the same results all year. The matching algorithms don't change very quickly.

Yeah, I know more about my compatibility with someone after talking with them for a few minutes that I do from reading a perfect list of their interests and opinions.

It's why we date instead of picking our spouse from an Excel spreadsheet.

Dating apps cannot fix this, but they can make it easier to meet more people.

I thought a great take on this was the Black Mirror episode where your dating-app compatibility score with someone was the percentage of times your virtual clone escapes the simulation with them. How else can you predict chemistry?

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#216

Post by BuildTheRobots » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:31 PM UTC

erikpukinskis wrote: post #64

chroem- wrote: post #36

Dating apps are extremely broken, and yet they're almost all owned by a single company: Match Group. I have a suspicion that these apps are left intentionally broken to keep users fruitlessly searching and boost engagement metrics. I can't find a complete list of the companies they've acquired, but last time I checked, Match owns over 20 different apps and dating sites, including Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge. We really…

Can you say more about what’s not working? I’ve been with my girlfriend three years, just bought a car together. It’s going well! We met on OKcupid. I’m a happy customer, though I don’t think I’ve ever paid them anything.

OKC used to be a nice usable site where you could meet interesting people and talk. They also used to publish quite a lot of original research.

They got bought out by Match a few years ago, at which point it suddenly became swiping and now you can't message (or see messages) without having first matched with each other.

tldr: Once sold, it went from an interesting place to a cesspit quite rapidly.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#217

Post by thewarrior » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:32 PM UTC

astrojams wrote: post #91

I have a friend who used to work for one of the bigger dating app services. He is an AI expert and wrote the matching algorithm for the service. He is very good at his job and his algorithm was so good that people matched, got married and stopped using the dating service. The higher ups in the company noticed the loss of revenue and asked him to make his algorithm worse so that people would match, date, but then brea…

I don’t know about the truth of this but I can attest to a certain version of this from first hand experience.

If your profile is not as desirable or just average they start hiding your profile so you don’t get as many matches. Then you pay and start getting slightly more matches. Since you’re average you’ll keep paying for a while till you get matched or maybe not.

They keep a few of the desirable people visible without paying to make the app look good. But those people may never even see you unless you pay.

Capitalism rocks.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#218

Post by odiroot » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:32 PM UTC

erikpukinskis wrote: post #64

chroem- wrote: post #36

Dating apps are extremely broken, and yet they're almost all owned by a single company: Match Group. I have a suspicion that these apps are left intentionally broken to keep users fruitlessly searching and boost engagement metrics. I can't find a complete list of the companies they've acquired, but last time I checked, Match owns over 20 different apps and dating sites, including Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge. We really…

Can you say more about what’s not working? I’ve been with my girlfriend three years, just bought a car together. It’s going well! We met on OKcupid. I’m a happy customer, though I don’t think I’ve ever paid them anything.

Most of my friends (both male and female) complain about dating apps. It may be highly local problem though, related to the culture of the city I live in. Usually when travelling I noticed it worked much better for me.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#219

Post by jakear » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:33 PM UTC

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #198

ssully wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is the right attitude (and correct description), but not everyone understands this. I have a friend who finally started using dating apps after I've pressured him for years. From my view, he is a decent guy who is reasonably good looking, but had no luck getting dates the "old fashioned way". He hasn't had any serious relationships success (i.e. anything greater then 6 months), but he is actually getting…

> I have a friend who finally started using dating apps after I've pressured him for years. Dear God why would you do this to someone?

Loneliness sucks, and for some people it can be difficult to try to meet new people in “real-world” social interactions.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#220

Post by newnewpdro » Mon, Nov 25, 2019, 5:34 PM UTC

dash2 wrote: post #63

toxik wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s somehow in the nature of dating apps to wax and wane, much like social networks. There’s some sense of novelty and excitement that wears off eventually. I think Tinder will eventually die too, and by the sound of it, already is well on its way.

Can confirm that in the UK, Tinder is pretty terrible. Hinge and Bumble are OK. OKCupid is gently dying under Match.com's tender care, but it's still my favourite because people actually have to say something about themselves. Can also confirm that online dating is a horrible, confidence-destroying nightmare (presumably for both sexes).

> horrible, confidence-destroying nightmare (presumably for both sexes).

After watching over my single-mother sister's shoulder while she used her okcupid account, I highly doubt it's anywhere near as confidence-destroying for women as it is men.

For her, she could login to okcupid any time she wanted an ego boost. She was constantly barraged with messages and likes, it was a completely different experience for her to login vs. me. I didn't even know those notifications stacked up across the screen, for her it was a maelstrom of attention.