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Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

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Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#111

Post by temo4ka »

Several people in the thread have already recommended meditation. I’m going to join them.

If you’re already doing therapy, consider complementing it with meditation. Meditation, if done right, can be equivalent to years of therapy.

The benefits are great, and for your situation the most relevant are reduced/eliminated anxiety, more willpower, energy, clarity (to see through depression for example); but there many others.

However, there’s a catch: meditation is hard. It requires consistent effort and dedication, just like any practice involving a complex skill (e.g., going to the gym or swimming pool).

For a completely secular practice, I’d recommend “The Mind Illuminated” by John Yates [1], a neuroscientist and a master meditator, whose aim with the book was to create a modern manual for meditation by making old Buddhist teachings accessible to an average westerner. The book is a synthesis of those teachings complemented with both his experience as a master meditator /and/ as a neuroscience Ph.D. This means that along with detailed instructions on how to actually meditate the book contains theoretic chapters explaining in popular scientific terms how your brain works and what meditation has to do with it, by first introducing a simple model, and then gradually building upon it as you progress through the book and develop your skill.

[1] https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Illuminated-Meditation-Integrati...

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#112

Post by WheelsAtLarge »

I suggest you try taking a class at a local college. Having to actually show up will keep you interested and help you finish. I would also look at career advice to help you plan your future. Your anxiety is partially cause by not knowing your future. Sit down with a career professional and life coach to plan your future and how to get there.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#113

Post by burntoutfire »

Try decreasing your spending? The less you spend, the less you depend on the miserable job. Being less dependent (ex. accumulating even a couple years of living expenses's worth of savings) should give a lot of breathing room re: changing jobs or even careers.

How to spend less? I personally have found this blog to be both very inspiring and practical: http://earlyretirementextreme.com/

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#114

Post by disturbed »

temo4ka wrote: post #111

Several people in the thread have already recommended meditation. I’m going to join them. If you’re already doing therapy, consider complementing it with meditation. Meditation, if done right, can be equivalent to years of therapy. The benefits are great, and for your situation the most relevant are reduced/eliminated anxiety, more willpower, energy, clarity (to see through depression for example); but there many oth…

Thanks. I will look in to it - sounds interesting

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#115

Post by helph67 »

I'm not a medical professional. You might consider if you are getting sufficient magnesium in your diet. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-foods-high-in-magnes... https://www.huffpost.com/entry/magnesium-the-most-powerf_b_4...

Others here have stressed the importance of sleep... https://digest.bps.org.uk/2019/11/21/a-lack-of-sleep-causes-...

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#116

Post by gorbachev »

Zealotux wrote: post #47

Some advice coming from someone who dealt – and is still often dealing – with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The very first thing you have to understand is that your perception is biased by your mental issues, is your feeling of incompetence backed by any facts? Is your boss continually complaining about your performance? And even if your performances are as bad as you think they are, I wouldn't be surpris…

Another thing is that EVEN IF your boss is giving you negative feedback about your job performance that does NOT mean you're incompetent. It almost certainly means you're just not in the right job at the moment.

A competent boss in that situation would try and find a better fit for you in the organization and if there isn't one help you find one outside of your current place of employment.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#117

Post by clmul »

op00to wrote: post #91
clmul wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just don't do that, using recreational drugs is never a solution for anything!

Cannabis is not a recreational drug. I am prescribed it by a physician for anxiety and depression. Please leave your 20th century Prohibitionist mindset somewhere else.

Note that I have not said anything about cannabis on a prescription basis for medical purposes, you just said "maybe smoke some weed" (smoking anything doesn't seem very healthy...), not "maybe see a doctor".

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#118

Post by yeswecatan »

farleykr wrote: post #17

I've struggled with a similar situation - anxiety stemming from childhood trauma - for a long time. The things that help me the most are: 1. Basic self care: get enough sleep (~8 hours a night), eat plenty of healthy food and cut out as much junk food as possible, and make time for doing something you enjoy each day, even if it's only for 20-30 minutes. 2. Therapy: Either straightforward counseling or something more…

Which have you had success with-- EDMR or neurofeedback training? If you are in the bay area can you recommend anyone?

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#119

Post by cannonedhamster »

disturbed wrote: post #98
cannonedhamster wrote: post #73

I've got terminal cancer in the US. I'm looking at the prospect of losing my job, which means my health insurance, which means I'll have to stop getting treatment and die. I feel you about constant anxiety. Might I first suggest you realize you're human and that where you're at isn't some crazy abnormal place right now. I've had times where I've gotten frustrated because with a literal deadline I'm still just too tir…

I’m sorry about your condition. Compared to that, my problems are insignificant. I try from time to time to code something... I’ve been learning F# lately. I force myself to sit in front of computer and do something, anything. But, somehow everything is tainted by the thought of going to “the pit” in the morning. I don’t know how to overcome that - to disconnect when I leave office.

I've been really lucky in my treatment and I'm well past my expected survivability so I'm good with the condition.

Regarding the taint you feel, that's similar to writers block. Try a different setting if you can, make sure you're enjoying yourself before you start. Then just go with it. No expectations, no harsh deadlines. You get done what you get done and you're going to have fun doing it. This is going to sound like a really odd thing to do but it really does change some things, take a few deep breaths holding them for a bit before letting them go and after that just shake the anxiety out. Shake your whole body until you feel silly. When you sit down, smile, even if it's forced and make sure your posture is not slouched. Your mind will follow your body. Then start whatever it is you want to do.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#120

Post by cannonedhamster »

craigr1972 wrote: post #78
cannonedhamster wrote: post #73

I've got terminal cancer in the US. I'm looking at the prospect of losing my job, which means my health insurance, which means I'll have to stop getting treatment and die. I feel you about constant anxiety. Might I first suggest you realize you're human and that where you're at isn't some crazy abnormal place right now. I've had times where I've gotten frustrated because with a literal deadline I'm still just too tir…

I'm very sorry. "Begin again" could well be the best advice anyone could ever give or receive.

It really hit home with me when I heard it. I'm really hard on myself, especially since with so many balls in the air it can be easy to drop one now and again. When I heard those words it was like a ton of bricks I'd been carrying were just set down because it was so simple, yet so profound to me. If I dropped a ball it wasn't failure, it was just pausing those things in life I couldn't make space for, when I had the space I could take them right back up. I'm glad it resonated with you as well.
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