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Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

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Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#101

Post by icris »

disturbed wrote: post #39
farleykr wrote: post #17

I've struggled with a similar situation - anxiety stemming from childhood trauma - for a long time. The things that help me the most are: 1. Basic self care: get enough sleep (~8 hours a night), eat plenty of healthy food and cut out as much junk food as possible, and make time for doing something you enjoy each day, even if it's only for 20-30 minutes. 2. Therapy: Either straightforward counseling or something more…

Thank you. I have been drinking more lately. I guess I should stop. I find it hard to enjoy anything. I was thinking about why is that. I found I don’t like myself at all and I guess deep inside I think I don’t deserve to feel joy. My therapist says I’m emotionally immature. She’s probably right.

i am no specialist but the way the ego works maybe you are making a very high idealized version of you that when compared with the real persona you find a big hiatus between what you perceive you are and the one you want to become. maybe you should relax a little such high standards for a more down-to-earth person, frequently people less exigent are just happiest. i call this the john wayne syndrome because we are trying to be the hero of our own life whereas we are just regular folks. also seek if there are repressed feelings you avoid that are inducing self-abusive behavior

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#102

Post by disturbed »

Uptrenda wrote: post #86

1. A small amount of anxiety is normal and even very useful - but not when it's a constant thing. It sounds to me like you may need to be on medication for this. Your family doctor might be able to help you with this (or if they can't they will refer you to a specialist who can - like a psychiatrist.) 2. You've mentioned feelings of low self-worth. That's a classic sign of depression. The racing mind and jumbled thou…

Thank you. Yeah I’ve got mortgages and kids. And you are right I do sell myself short sometimes. But on the other hand, there is a lot of young (cheaper) talent on the market that I’d have to be exceptional to get hired (or at least this is how I see it in my mind).

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#103

Post by disturbed »

sellingwebsite wrote: post #82

Lots of good suggestions here, but they miss the elephant in the room: you are trapped and you feel that. It seems like a lot of your anxiety stems from that. My only suggestion would be to "climb out" of this trap. Since you can't find another job in your town ( https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21620176 ), try looking fo remote job openings. Freelancing and starting your own business are options as well, but I w…

Thanks for the links. I will look into them.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#104

Post by disturbed »

icris wrote: post #96

i personally give up hope, the sense that someday i will overcome my schizophrenia. instead i incorporate it as a new paradigm, a new side of me so that by knowing it's there i know the cause and be able to handle it more easily, and also by avoiding portraying it as a insurmountable monster so as to convince it is just a trick of the mind on me and move on. no regrets, no cries, no self-pity. that's more easily said…

Thank you

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#105

Post by disturbed »

dominotw wrote: post #80

The advice here is terrible. How are you supposed to get 8 hrs of sleep if you are anxious all the time, lol. Its like saying 'just eat healthy food ' to the person struggling with weight issues. You cannot solve the anxiety financial insecuitry for your family with "self care". I think your only option here is to 1. move into non-coding management role, you have to do everything at your work to make this possible. 2…

1. I dread that but it may be one option

3. What do you mean by system design?

5. Not in the US. Here everyone pays taxes and when you retire you get some small pension (a lot of senior people digging through dumpsters for bottles to earn extra money).

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#106

Post by disturbed »

RickJWagner wrote: post #79

Author: I'm glad you wrote, I hope you are finding helpful ideas here. I'll be brief: - Besides all the great ideas already here, consider religion. It can bring great calm. - If you have some talent in your job, just know that 'imposter syndrome' is real. Study it, you might get by. - If you have no talent in your job, start looking for something different. It's not worth staying in this case. Wishing you good luck.

Thanks. Religion isn’t my cup of tea.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#107

Post by disturbed »

icris wrote: post #101
disturbed wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you. I have been drinking more lately. I guess I should stop. I find it hard to enjoy anything. I was thinking about why is that. I found I don’t like myself at all and I guess deep inside I think I don’t deserve to feel joy. My therapist says I’m emotionally immature. She’s probably right.

i am no specialist but the way the ego works maybe you are making a very high idealized version of you that when compared with the real persona you find a big hiatus between what you perceive you are and the one you want to become. maybe you should relax a little such high standards for a more down-to-earth person, frequently people less exigent are just happiest. i call this the john wayne syndrome because we are tr…

Thank you for your comment. That is absolutely true. I have excuses for everyone except for myself. Intellectually, I realize that, but it’s difficult to fight it. My therapist is trying to help with this. We’ll see how it goes.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#108

Post by disturbed »

federiconitidi wrote: post #70

Man, don’t feel this way. You are great, young and capable. Fuck the job! There will be many opportunities for you and with hard work and a little belief in yourself you’ll capture them. Do you know how many great entrepreneurs, professionals and artists got started at your age? A LOT!

Thank you!

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#109

Post by temo4ka »

disturbed wrote: post #46
alexanderthe- wrote: post #32

I would start meditating, it will help you on being able to identify and intervene on repetitive, negative thought patterns (rumination). Give yourself 10 minutes everyday to train your mind. I use the app Waking up. Release anxiety through some physical exercise several days per week, ideally something you enjoy. Every day, build some grit by doing something difficult - the fact that you’ve done it, and continue to…

Thanks. Several people recommended cold showers or swimming in cold water. Guess it doesn’t hurt to try.

You might find Wim Hof method useful then. https://www.wimhofmethod.com/

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#110

Post by ianai »

op00to wrote: post #89
ianai wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Actually, kava kava is the best I’ve found outside of benzodiazepines.

Benzos don’t work at all for me. I have an Ativan script and it’s useless. Should I be asking for something else?

Dunno, but kava is over the counter in many places.
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