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Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

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Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#71
post #35

I've struggled with a similar situation - anxiety stemming from childhood trauma - for a long time. The things that help me the most are: 1. Basic self care: get enough sleep (~8 hours a night), eat plenty of healthy food and cut out as much junk food as possible, and make time for doing something you enjoy each day, even if it's only for 20-30 minutes. 2. Therapy: Either straightforward counseling or something more…

4. Throw away all social media. Don't get on the "look how successfull/beautiful she/he is!"-bandwagon. That only leads to misserable thoughts. This probably is a big part of the burn out-looking syndroms we keep seeing on youth

I’ve got social media blocked at the network level. Has made a huge difference.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you. I have been drinking more lately. I guess I should stop. I find it hard to enjoy anything. I was thinking about why is that. I found I don’t like myself at all and I guess deep inside I think I don’t deserve to feel joy. My therapist says I’m emotionally immature. She’s probably right.

You must stop drinking alcohol. It is a depressant. You are literally making yourself feel worse. No amounts consumed in moderation are helpful. Stop, cold turkey. Don't wait to make this change, either, and try not to replace it with an alternative. If you absolutely must find a replacement, try vaping high-CBD hemp flower. I don't know what your country's legal status is for this, though, and that may not be possib…

Actually, kava kava is the best I’ve found outside of benzodiazepines.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#73
I've got terminal cancer in the US. I'm looking at the prospect of losing my job, which means my health insurance, which means I'll have to stop getting treatment and die. I feel you about constant anxiety. Might I first suggest you realize you're human and that where you're at isn't some crazy abnormal place right now.

I've had times where I've gotten frustrated because with a literal deadline I'm still just too tired to get things done and I beat myself up over things I can't control so it's easy for me to negate the small progress I make because I'm comparing myself to a healthy version of myself.

I'm glad to see that you are in therapy. It's going to feel like some days you get nowhere. Remember that any goal you're trying to attain that's difficult is like climbing a mountain. The higher up you go the harder it is to see all the individual steps it took to get there. With life once you get to the top of one mountain, there's always another mountain to climb. It's a journey not an objective.

There's a Buddhist saying that's helped me when I get frustrated at myself for getting set back."Begin Again". Get stuck on something, begin again. Life intrude on your learning for a bit? Begin again. Lose everything in a terrible storm ? Begin again.

For reviving the love of coding, I suggest doing something you either enjoy with coding or something you see as having purpose. Make it small as a project, then break it up into smaller parts. Start with the hard part. When you get frustrated work on something easy or give yourself some time to just think on the problem. Is there a different way to view it, are you trying to be too complicated, what would it look like if you could be absolutely sure it would work, are there smaller tasks this could be broken into that would be easier to solve apart?

You're worth putting in this effort. You can do it. Love and light.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#75
I’m probably the 50th person to say this, but I hope my saying it again would add to its importance: there’s nothing that I’ve found more powerful and long-lasting to my psychological health than regular exercise coupled with a healthy diet. At the end of the day we’re animals, our thinking and behaviour highly dependent on our surrounding environment and our metabolic functions, and if those are disturbed, then we are disturbed. Consider taking a vacation to get away from it all for a while.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#76
Sounds like you’re in a bad place.

I have a checklist I use to try and keep my mental health strong. The idea isn’t that you get a perfect score on this checklist, but that you ask yourself “what’s the easiest way to improve my score in this checklist at the moment?”

- Did you get a good night's sleep last night?

- Do you see your friends often enough?

- Do you have any enjoyable hobbies?

- Do you exercise or get moving every day?

- Do you have close, enjoyable relationships?

- Do you avoid abusing substances like alcohol or other drugs?

- Do you relax and take slow out breaths? (Or meditate)

- Do you do things for other people?

- Do you have any awesome pets?

Write up about it is here: http://wiki.secretgeek.net/protective-factors-for-mental-hea...

Good luck. Sorry I’m not a professional.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#77

I would start meditating, it will help you on being able to identify and intervene on repetitive, negative thought patterns (rumination). Give yourself 10 minutes everyday to train your mind. I use the app Waking up. Release anxiety through some physical exercise several days per week, ideally something you enjoy. Every day, build some grit by doing something difficult - the fact that you’ve done it, and continue to…

Thanks. Several people recommended cold showers or swimming in cold water. Guess it doesn’t hurt to try.

Please do be physically safe if you do swim. Swim with someone, make it short, and read up on cold shock and "after drop".

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#78

I've got terminal cancer in the US. I'm looking at the prospect of losing my job, which means my health insurance, which means I'll have to stop getting treatment and die. I feel you about constant anxiety. Might I first suggest you realize you're human and that where you're at isn't some crazy abnormal place right now. I've had times where I've gotten frustrated because with a literal deadline I'm still just too tir…

I'm very sorry. "Begin again" could well be the best advice anyone could ever give or receive.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#79
Author: I'm glad you wrote, I hope you are finding helpful ideas here. I'll be brief:

- Besides all the great ideas already here, consider religion. It can bring great calm. - If you have some talent in your job, just know that 'imposter syndrome' is real. Study it, you might get by. - If you have no talent in your job, start looking for something different. It's not worth staying in this case.

Wishing you good luck.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#80
The advice here is terrible. How are you supposed to get 8 hrs of sleep if you are anxious all the time, lol. Its like saying 'just eat healthy food ' to the person struggling with weight issues. You cannot solve the anxiety financial insecuitry for your family with "self care".

I think your only option here is to

1. move into non-coding management role, you have to do everything at your work to make this possible.

2. Apply for management jobs everywhere after you have accomplished 1.

3. Get upto speed on system design, study a little bit everyday. Its not hard stuff.

4. Get your spouse to start working even if its a job at walmart.

5. Not sure what is going on with finances but why don't u have a 401k?

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