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I feel like this is anti-progress. My industry's success depends on me sitting in my room coding and not having a gf.
If being a software engineer and having a girlfriend are mutually exclusive then I’ll find something else to do.
I feel like this is anti-progress. My industry's success depends on me sitting in my room coding and not having a gf.
One thing about body language though - I think it's one thing to read about body language but a very different thing to visually train your brain to recognize it quickly.
I hope to one day make YouTube videos with lots of examples for this purpose. In the meantime, the best book resource I've found for that is the book "What Every Body is Saying", because it contains lots of example pictures.
"Support Your Friends" chapter is really good! I've making mistakes mentioned there all the time.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
If being a software engineer and having a girlfriend are mutually exclusive then I’ll find something else to do.
I have evidence that they are not mutually exclusive.
My version. 1. Be polite 2. Ask questions. (Interesting people like to talk about themselves) Elicit more than Yes/No answers. 3. Answer questions put to you with more than Yes/No answers. (Interesting people like to learn more about interesting people)
That, or they love hearing themselves talk.
In doing this, we can more often achieve what we want, and have more support to do so. As Jon also touches on, there will always be people who just aren't interested in giving you the benefit of the doubt, but more often than not, based on the explanations you give them, they extrapolate to something completely different then what's in your mind at the time.
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Some of the worst and most ineffective coworkers I've ever worked with were intelligent, knowledgable, skilled, and severally lacking in the social skills department. In some cases I've seen the more abrasive and toxic variants of these people completely crush morale for the rest of the team or company, and destroy any success. They were a net loss to the company. Yeah, social skills matter. A lot. It's not about hav…
I am coming to the conclusion that social skills are probably more valuable than coding skills. I don't think I am especially productive in my current job due to a lot of context switching, but I think they like me for my attitude.
Nearly everyone you meet is out to get you, and a social misstep is a fabulous casus belli. We're all politicians navigating a zero-sum social world, so you have to keep on your utmost guard at all times, attempting to run what you say through what the one who hates you most in the world would think of what you say, before you say it. True Fear is warranted.
I'll keep reading through the rest of it, I don't doubt it contains some useful information, and the author of this can write pretty well, so kudos for that.