Earlier quoted context omitted.
> a file saying "hello world" is enough to get the text to show on a browser Wrong. A file saying "hello world" does not even serve its contents through HTTP on port 80, contrary to the node.js-example you are arguing against. Good luck setting up that Apache monstrosity (as it was common back then) without any "programming knowledge whatsoever". But yeah, I guess your mentioned stockholm syndrome is a thing for PHP…
It sounds like you've never actually used PHP. Even way back when, you could pick from multiple pre-packaged solutions (XAMPP, WAMP, etc). In windows, the installer was a no-brainer click-through wizard, much like any other random software you'd find on sourceforge or whatever. And not only it would setup apache, but also mysql. Then you could click a button to turn on PHP (so no need to type anything in terminal eit…
> like any other random software you'd find on sourceforge or whatever
> could click a button to turn on PHP
> etc.
tl;dr you don't need to know anything. Good summary of why PHP in production "back the days" was usually of very poor quality.