Friended is a new social network that wants to get real • Hacker News Board

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#81

Post by LinuxBender » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:12 PM UTC

Endy wrote: post #80

LinuxBender wrote: post #79

Ages ago I ran a phpbb site that initially followed this concept, but being community driven (I may have been a bit too friction-less), it quickly evolved into a community driven fetish/porn site. Every time I am tempted to create such a thing, I reflect back on how much work it was and lessons learned (about moderation requirements). Hats off / kudos to anyone that can run something like this successfully at scale,…

This may seem like an unusual question, but why does it matter what the subject matter became if the community was accepting and safe?

Your question is quite valid and I agree. That said, at the time the subject matter; while safe and legal, was still a bit taboo. Not so much these days, but I may have been a bit ahead of the times.

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#82

Post by Endy » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:18 PM UTC

My one gripe here is that it's only available as an iOS program. I think it would be much more accessible if it had a web interface, or if it also had an Android program.

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#83

Post by throwaway35784 » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:21 PM UTC

Retric wrote: post #62

monkeynotes wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real world relationships, those that are truly meaningful, take a lot of investment from both sides. Outside of the lab being vulnerable carries significant risk. For one, you risk being taken advantage of. This happens all the time, people are manipulated for sex, financial gain, and sometimes just for social status gains (clique shunning etc.). It's pretty common for vulnerable bonding to be misused by one or both…

I am not sure where you can draw a clear line on what is a meaningful relationship. Some people decide to get married after knowing each other for a few weeks. Some of those marriages even end up healthy and lasting long term. If anything I think it’s maintaining a real relationship that takes time not forming it.

It's a definitional problem. Building lasting relationships takes time because it's only after a long time that it will be considered "lasting."

The question is: how quickly and how can you tell if a relationship will be lasting?

What are the signs?

What if its just a numbers game? Meet enough people. Some of them will last.

That said I'm "too trusting." I get burned all the time. Taken advantage of. I have a scarcity of natural love in my life and thus an abundance to give. Makes me a target for the narcissists.

Those who do love me think I'm brave for loving so freely -- everyone. Even those who hurt me. They know it's driven by a deeply personal isolation within my soul that waters my eyes in this moment. But they can never empathize and am happy for that.

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#84

Post by throwaway35784 » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:27 PM UTC

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #49

pavel_lishin wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I will say that it's probably possible to min-max or speedrun a relationship, but I don't think it's easy, and I don't think we're at the stage where a phone app can do it for you. I also don't think it would feel very fun, and is probably not good for you.

As though the normal means of forming relationships is fun or good for you? How many people commit suicide over failed relationships? How many people are committed to bad relationships due to sunk cost fallacy? Forming relationships is a pain in the ass no matter how you slice it.

Find things in common so you can stay busy together without talking constantly. It gives your mind time to consider what and how to say things without being too vulnerable too fast. Ponder what was said. Go slower. Silence is OK.

Friend dates. My gf and I have started double dating those we like. You can listen while the other two talk. Being quiet with someone can be very comfortable or unnerving.

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#85

Post by notadoc » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:42 PM UTC

The world needs less digital "social networking", not more of it.

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#86

Post by bobblywobbles » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:44 PM UTC

I like the enthusiasm. It's always a good idea to try and help solve the ever-present problem of "I don't have enough friends, I need more inter-personal connection."

Fundamentally, I believe we _can't_ solve this problem through technology. I think it can be used to initiate the friendship, but never sustain it. I feel the problem is you can't be vulnerable on a screen, it just never replicates the face-to-face interaction with someone else.

I've been there for many years looking for that online substitute, it just doesn't ever fully work. However - I wish you luck on your network.

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#87

Post by newsbinator » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:52 PM UTC

Multicomp wrote: post #4

I like the idea, but 2 things. 1) where did they get the prices of $4.99 a week? Facebook's average revenue per user per quarter is ~$25. That's approximately $1.50 a week, for their most profitable section. Elsewhere, FB makes $6 ARPU per quarter, or around 37¢ a week. I'd be willing to pay $1 a month for a social network if it manages to get around the network effects etc. but ~$20(!) for something Facebook enables…

If dating sites are social networks to a degree, then compare this $4.99/week to what the major dating sites end up charging via their membership fees and tokens for things like seeing conversations, replying to conversations, seeing user photos, etc

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#88

Post by wincy » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:54 PM UTC

poutrathor wrote: post #42

pavel_lishin wrote: post #19

> Friended wants to give users a deeper and more meaningful connection to one another, which the company believes they crave. > The idea is to give people a chance to share how they really feel in a vulnerable, one-to-one setting. In playing around with the app, I had conversations with people about how to make friends in NYC and why it sometimes feel like others don’t care about us as much as we care about them. I'm…

"Time" : https://www.futurity.org/friends-time-1718952-2/ It's actually pretty fast actually. 200 hours is nothing. What really happens is that grown up don't invest the required hours because their days are already filled to the brink. 200 hours would be 1 hour drink 4 time a week during a whole year. Once you word it that way, for sure, you got a friendship running ! Or as someone said below being in deep shit. Fir…

Unfortunately if you're in deep shit you'll (or at least I did) discover most of your friends give you a whole lot of "space". I get it. My kid almost died, it was a major bummer. She's doing okay now, can we hang out again?

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#89

Post by walterstucco666 » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 9:59 PM UTC

Retric wrote: post #62

monkeynotes wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real world relationships, those that are truly meaningful, take a lot of investment from both sides. Outside of the lab being vulnerable carries significant risk. For one, you risk being taken advantage of. This happens all the time, people are manipulated for sex, financial gain, and sometimes just for social status gains (clique shunning etc.). It's pretty common for vulnerable bonding to be misused by one or both…

I am not sure where you can draw a clear line on what is a meaningful relationship. Some people decide to get married after knowing each other for a few weeks. Some of those marriages even end up healthy and lasting long term. If anything I think it’s maintaining a real relationship that takes time not forming it.

> Some of those marriages even end up healthy and lasting long term.

Survival bias.

Most of those "relationships" don't even get past the first date.

Re: Friended is a new social network that wants to get real

#90

Post by isaacgreyed » Thu, Nov 07, 2019, 10:02 PM UTC

I wonder if regardless of the design of the platform, if simply having this be the idea behind the network will attract the right people, and build the right community to make it work.