Slowly dying from all your first-world problems?
Believe or not, its the lack of 3rd world problems that contribute to mental health imo
There's a whole book on this: Tribe, by Sebastian Junger.
Ask HN: How is your mental health?
101–110 of 162 posts
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#102Going to weekly therapy is the only way I really track anything. I've been struggling a lot since my ex and I broke up last year. Earlier this year, I started thinking about how my dad treated me growing up and how it was (is) a type of emotional abuse. He's probably narcissistic. I'm sure it's a big factor in why I dated someone like my ex and why I've put up with so much shit in my relationships, friends, work.
And now at work, I'm being treated poorly by a particular person and he's generally offensive to everyone. He's kind of like my dad in a lot of ways and it's "triggering" me. Managers and HR don't seem to care much. I'm also concerned about retaliation because this guy came here with a handful of other people, a couple of which are extremely high level that can hold me back and give problem guy preferential treatment.
I'm one of few female engineers here and I feel like people with power are looking at me as whiny, it doesn't feel good. I already have too many short stints on my resume so I feel like I can't leave and I suck at tech interviews too...partly because "showing my thought process" is terrifying when I've grown up with all my thoughts and feelings being used as a weapon against me.
I have almost no friends in the city I moved to, I miss my mom and my brother a lot. I could try harder to make some new friends here but work is exhausting and I just don't feel good and I'd rather stay home and cuddle my dog. She is pretty much the only thing that gives me energy. :/
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#103[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#104I'd say if I was seek help I'd have some issues with depression and anxiety. I think most people have some low grade difficulties.
I've learnt that the following are important:
* Keep in contact with friends. Isolation is a killer to my mental health. * Don't burn out. Long hours destroy my ability to focus then I get down about my ability to work. This leads to a depression like state that is hard to shake. * Avoid behavious I disagree with. Everyone has a moral code they live by. I find if I do things that violate mine the internal conflict is very destructive to me mental health. * Avoid addictions. Name your vice here. I have an addictive personality keeping away from addictions is key to staying sane. * Never play the victim. I'm always able to improve my life somehow even if it's just developing a better internal view of my external circumstances. My happiness is my own doing.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#105Starting a business is a rewarding challenge to do something I believe is truly impactful and I actively choose to be very optimistic about it. However, there are many other personal things I can't ignore like relationships and bills plus past experiences that cast doubt over it all.
I manage it by maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, relatively clean diet, and most importantly, appreciating/enjoying what I do have right now.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#106Sometimes I start questioning our existence but then I realize there’s no point in doing that and just go back to doing whatever it is I enjoy the most. ¯\_( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯
Yeah but for true anxiety (existential anxiety in this case) this does not work. It's like telling people "If you're depressed, just be happy instead". If you could just stop thinking about it you would..
Yeah no, I get that. I was just talking about my case. I’m mostly happy tbh, but I’m pretty lucky. I know some people’s mental health is actually tied to some biological reasons.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#107> How and how well do you keep track of your mental health Mentally. Not very well. This is an area in need of improvement for me. I'm mid-30s and mental health is getting to be pretty important as of late. > , particularly for those with a history of mental health issues, and those with a family history of mental issues. TBQH I think that means everyone . I live in America. In America, mental health takes a backseat…
It sounds like therapy would be helpful for you. It's highly unlikely they will think your "rights need to be taken away" unless they think someone is going to get physically hurt. If you can afford it, many therapists accept cash only and in that case, they don't have to diagnose you with anything since they aren't reporting to insurance. You also don't need to go to any therapist that isn't right for you.
Yes, but... is there a listing somewhere which can be looked at discretely for accredited therapists?
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
It sounds like therapy would be helpful for you. It's highly unlikely they will think your "rights need to be taken away" unless they think someone is going to get physically hurt. If you can afford it, many therapists accept cash only and in that case, they don't have to diagnose you with anything since they aren't reporting to insurance. You also don't need to go to any therapist that isn't right for you.
Yes, but... is there a listing somewhere which can be looked at discretely for accredited therapists?
Go to a library and use a computer to look at something like: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists or Google search "therapists in " or " treatment in "
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#109Going to weekly therapy is the only way I really track anything. I've been struggling a lot since my ex and I broke up last year. Earlier this year, I started thinking about how my dad treated me growing up and how it was (is) a type of emotional abuse. He's probably narcissistic. I'm sure it's a big factor in why I dated someone like my ex and why I've put up with so much shit in my relationships, friends, work. And…
I just want to say thank you for sharing. I'm also one of few female engineers at my company. It's hard to find friends as an adult and it can feel even lonelier when I see people at work getting together to play sports or generally have "guy hang out time". When I have brought up complaints at work I also feel like people don't take them seriously. The response has basically been, "Can you just wait for him to retire?" and "You should be grateful". It's hard. One thing that has been helpful is finding some sort of community. Treat it as a non-negotiable part of your life. There are lots of people out there looking for connections and friendships, it can take time before you find the right group. Everyday you wake up and do things for your employer. Everyday you should also wake up and do things for yourself. Like having lunch with someone or playing a boardgame with a group. In the moment "playing a boardgame" may sounds silly and trivial compared to important "work" and "career", so instead I call it, "maintaining my health". Don't neglect your mental health. It's important. Also, dogs are almost always better than people.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#110Honestly, pretty awful. I'm fresh out of college, making 155K in my first job, but I feel miserable because I can't sleep in NYC, the love of my life lives across the country and I feel like we're growing apart, and because I work so much I no longer have any hobbies. I grew up poor and now I'm making more money than I ever imagined I could so I feel like I can't complain too much, but as soon as I hit the 1 year mar…
I spent two years of my life in NYC. I hope you already are using earplugs? If not, go down to the drugstore and buy the heaviest decibel rating you can find. Set some hard boundaries around work. It's a city where people overwork like it's a mark of virtue. Plus, since you're not planning to stay, you don't need to grind yourself to death to climb the corporate hierarchy. Make time to talk to your SO almost every da…
Seconding the earplugs, also - blackout curtains and an eyemask.
Wishing the parent poster the best of luck with everything.