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Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

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Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#101
post #16

I do the same thing. I have a feeling a lot of engineers are in this same trap. The problem is that prolonged periods of just going home and watching tv after work is going to lead to an increase in social anxiety for many people. Which then leads to even more isolation. Ideally I envision myself going to the gym, going to a meetup, playing board games, etc, but I just never seem to bring myself around to doing it.

It's crazy to think how many of us are similar across the world. Get up, commute to work, do work, commute home, watch netflix and repeat.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#102

Try slackline - it's a meditative practice and a way to meet new people. There was a period in my life when I just moved to another country and felt lonely. I bought a line and started to practice in a popular park. On a good day I could meet 1-2 people per hour. There were people from wildly different backgrounds - sometimes it's a quirky homeless guy, young father, cute girls, policeman

I find this advice funny. I don't have much of an opinion on the slackline itself but random people coming up to me for superficial meetings does not appeal to me.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#103

Get married and have kids. They'll fill up all of your free time and then some.

This is the correct answer. That feeling of empty pointlessness is because the drive to have kids is not being satisfied. User "volument" here is suffering an existential crisis. I have 12 kids. They depend on me. There is always something going on. Even the bad things have an upside of removing boredom. There is no time for television. Tomorrow, on Saturday, I will be homeschooling AP Chemistry. Three kids have to g…

This may be the wrong answer.

That feeling of empty pointlessness is because SOME drive is not being satisfied, but it might be completely unrelated to having children.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#105
post #100
post #7

I have a rule of thumb. From a stress rating of 0-10, your days should ideally be 8 stress or 0. Growth = stress + rest The more elite people can take on a lot more stress. 0 doesn't necessarily mean watching Netflix; for me that's more stressful than playing with spreadsheets or commenting on HN. What most people do is stick around 3-5 stress level (the comfort zone) or constantly at 6 (trying my best). It's a recip…

I cannot agree with any of this.. but I think this comes down to how you define stress. I equate stress to be a bad thing but I don't equate stress to pushing myself. Stress for me is mainly responsibility with lack of authority. Other stress comes from anxiety.

That sounds like a 10 on the stress scale - high enough that you give up.

I think the stress level should be just high enough that you're close to giving up. It's at the point where you simply can't go any harder. You'll either improve biologically, as in your mind/body improves to meet the demands, or you find other, more effective ways to do it.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#106
post #102

Try slackline - it's a meditative practice and a way to meet new people. There was a period in my life when I just moved to another country and felt lonely. I bought a line and started to practice in a popular park. On a good day I could meet 1-2 people per hour. There were people from wildly different backgrounds - sometimes it's a quirky homeless guy, young father, cute girls, policeman

I find this advice funny. I don't have much of an opinion on the slackline itself but random people coming up to me for superficial meetings does not appeal to me.

This is one of these cases when quality emerges from quantity

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#107
post #7

I have a rule of thumb. From a stress rating of 0-10, your days should ideally be 8 stress or 0. Growth = stress + rest The more elite people can take on a lot more stress. 0 doesn't necessarily mean watching Netflix; for me that's more stressful than playing with spreadsheets or commenting on HN. What most people do is stick around 3-5 stress level (the comfort zone) or constantly at 6 (trying my best). It's a recip…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's about $4000 for food. It's been a while since I looked at the rest. The house and cars are paid off. I don't expect to pay for college for all 12. They start dual-enrollment as early as 12, with the school district paying for books and tuition, so a college degree can be had for the cost of commuting and trivial fees. Normally that would be just an AA degree (the few 4-year degrees offered locally are lousy), bu…

Got it thanks for the response :). I have a secret dream of having a large family as well, so was just curious how you made it all work.

It helps to be in an affordable area with a software development job. It is then possible to have one parent stay at home. I'm near Melbourne, FL.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#110
For me, the most important game-changer is to have things set-up in advance.

I.e. I have dance-lessons on monday and wednesday evening, and there open dance-hall every sunday.

Or, I know that every tuesday and thursday there is a boardgame meetup.

Previously, when I wanted to meet my friends for a beer or coffe, I would usually start organizing something late afternoon, and realized nobody has time in the evening. Now everybody know that I am free after my dance lessons, so one less thing to argue about :)

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