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Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

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51–60 of 112 posts

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#51
Look up events in your area and go to some that sound cool, even if they aren't the sort of thing you would normally do. Find cheap concerts for music you normally don't listen to. It doesn't matter if you go alone - tons of people do, especially for less well known bands. Learn a hobby about making something, even if it's just a better dinner. Or take a class on making things (woodworking, metalworking, pottery, sewing, whatever). Among the people in tech I know, photography and running also seem to be popular. Next thing you know, there won't be enough time after work to do half the things you want to do.

Look for hobby groups at work as well. For a medium to large company, there are probably a lot. We have a casual after work board game club that gets together once a week, for instance.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#52
Be a human, a real human. Your life is a lot shorter that you are able to envision at this point (1), your feelings benumb in time. You forget who you are and what matters to you.

If you're a real human - and you are - you should spend more time with yourself and get to known about yourself and how different and similar you are to the other human beings, what's your common ground and where you briefly part your ways. You should do nothing more often just because being (as opposed to doing) is truly a wholesome thing in itself and you probably deserve it. You should cultivate your curiosity and learn about things not because they're useful to your job, but because you may become a better friend, brother and son. You should learn to enjoy your company and be your own friend and exert more control over the things that look like escapism - TV, internet, drugs and all - but be a wholesome person as well and understand the age you live in and its peculiarities.

If you're a real human - and you are - you should spend more time with your friends. In the long run, most people regret not spending more time cultivating fulfilling and genuine friendships and keeping in touch over the years. (2) You should strive to be a better friend than you currently are and use some of your spare time to make their lives a bit better and their journeys easier. You should set aside time each week for some of them and call them, email them, write them paper letters and cook for them at your place. You should spend more time helping your friends know the real you, the scared you, the brave you, the silly you, as they probably already know the smart and sexy you.

If you're a real human - and you are - you should spend more time with your family. Some of the strongest and best reasons to be alive are connected to what we call our families. Being an adult yourself now, with your own peculiarities, life experience and unique perspective - you should be more kind to them and more approachable and less judgemental. You should make their journey through life less arduous and painful. You should be there more often for dinner and bake your lovely cake for them. You should ask for their opinions even though you're not going to follow them. You should teach them that things can be good and that's not always a muddle-through. Be a good dad without any logic to support it.

If you're a real human - and I'm sure you are - you should enjoy your work but never confuse work with life. While work is certainly part of it, it should never-ever replace life's extensive and puzzling experiences, disappointments and boredoms. Your brief visit here is realy truly brief, you just can't see it yet. Oftentimes and without our noticing, work saps meaning from life but we learn this when we've stopped being busy and eager. In your free time after work, you should be your own self, without the demands of work and social life. You should pursue your own activities and create your own meaning. There's certainly more to life than work. (3)

Here is a Freddie Mercury snippet to go with that.

"There must be more to life than living There must be more that needs the light Why should it be just a case of black or white There must be more to life than this"

1. https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html / 2. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-fiv... / 3. https://old.reddit.com/r/stopworking/

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#53
Given the question, and that “you feel there is more”...

I would say you are mostly looking for a “kick” to get going. You may already know what you want... or you don’t, but either way it is important to “try”.

The more you get “out there” the more likely you will experience things you enjoy.

My concrete recommendation: 1. create a list of things that interest you/goals/or skills you want to develop. 2. Take no more than 3 of them you want to try to do for a year. 3. Create actionable activities that you can do at least monthly (but ideally weekly) on those items. 4. Do the activities. 5. Evaluate yourself every 3 months, is there one activity that is more meaningful/enjoyable than the rest? Do you find one a “dog”? Either way decide to either cut or do more on any activity.

One other note: finding a community that want the same thing can help a lot here... at least personally I am more likely to get off the couch if I know someone is counting on me.

My 2 cents...

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#54
I just bought a piano and am learning that. I think it will help with mindfulness. I want to do painting on my balcony but it is too cold here so I will wait until spring. These are solo activities though so I do long for something more group oriented.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#55
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"What to do after the workday?" - is the key of the question > Go for a walk It's almost winter in US. Pardon me, but taking a walk in the dark, alone, with your camera doesn't really sound as a good advice. I bet with your new iPhone you can take gorgeous photos at night but that can be fun only once on the blue moon, not every day?..

> "It's almost winter in US. Pardon me, but taking a walk in the dark, alone, with your camera doesn't really sound as a good advice." Pardon me, but the US is an absolutely giant place - in Texas this is the time of year where I can go out in the evening and not be miserable. Also some of the best photo's I've ever taken where in Telluride in the middle of February right after sunset.

Oh right! My bad, apologies. We northerners always forget that south exists and different.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#56

Freelance, find new recipes that you may enjoy and make interesting dinners. Also the obligatory third place - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place

Is Third place even a thing in modern cities nowadays? I feel like it has shifted online, and even online Third places (small message boards) have been disappearing... HN may be quite close to one. In a city like NY or London or SF, what would be good Third places for HN-type people?

Serving size 1 - Coming from Southeast US there is a rise in craft micro-breweries in many of the more 'hip' cities. These smaller locations tend to have groups of regulars who tend to know each other and provide such a 'service'. That being said I do agree with the thought of this phenomenon moving to the internet, things like city based slack chats work decently for this and these groups work to create physical meetups as well.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#57
I like going thrifting and looking for cool things or coming up with something to search for and collect. Recently i'm into collecting uranium glass for instance. It's also gives you some walking around the stores and such. You can even maybe try and play with some weird fashion while there. It helps with exploring some good restaurants also as a lot of thrift shops are in different areas of town and I like to give the stores time to 'refresh' between visits.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#58
Exercise + socialize

Meetup.come and facebook groups can be a great resource. Try something that freaks you out a little bit.

I <3 acro yoga, group and solo mountain biking, and group and solo rock climbing. Maybe one more of those would work for you. Maybe you should find something else. Ultimate frisbee, geocaching, group fitness classes, group hiking. There are a lot of exercise + socialize options out there if you go looking for them. Do it and I bet you’ll thank yourself for it later on down the road. If you feel uncomfortable putting yourself out there and trying something new than just try to remember how uncomfortable you are with the thought that there might be something more out there for you. I bet that there is.

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#59

Start reading. There is nothing more worthwhile than reading (especially classic literature). Find an author who interests you and read all of their books and move on from there :)

Do you have any recommendations?

I'm not OP but let me take this opportunity to recommend Fyodor Dostoevsky. I started with The Brothers Karamazov when I was fresh out of high school and struggling with identity (coming from a traditional Hindu society in Nepal). It has helped me immensely and I consider it to be one of the best most comprehensive and educational books I have ever read.

(If it helps anyone, Kurt Vonnegut, who wrote Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions is a big fan of Dostoevsky and recommends his works in multiple writings.)

/$0.02

Re: Ask HN: What to do after the workday?

#60
post #7

I have a rule of thumb. From a stress rating of 0-10, your days should ideally be 8 stress or 0. Growth = stress + rest The more elite people can take on a lot more stress. 0 doesn't necessarily mean watching Netflix; for me that's more stressful than playing with spreadsheets or commenting on HN. What most people do is stick around 3-5 stress level (the comfort zone) or constantly at 6 (trying my best). It's a recip…

I’m not sure why you’re equating stress and growth. Surely you can grow without being stressed? In fact, that’s my preferred way! I enjoy learning new things and being challenged... to me that’s not stressful at all, but the opposite — restorative.

I think the original post conflated stress and discomfort, because they described my views pretty closely but I call it discomfort instead. I think if you’re resting, be largely comfortable. If you’re uncomfortable (in a constructive way), you’re learning.
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