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Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
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Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#232I have had some amazing relationships with amazing women, and looking back, I didn't always understand at the time the exact cause of the breakup, but knew it was my fault. Now I understand that it was always my immaturity and selfishness that was causing it. I still have a lot of Love for all those women who put up with me while I was growing (and continue to). Some will never speak to me again though ...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex and relationships. The instinctual influence over men to have sex with multiple partners, I believe influences their desire to still "feel good" about prior partners. ...whereas a woman's instinctual desire to find a man to protect her offspring influences her desire to "feel bad" about prior partners who didn't stick…
Is it possible that it's folly to think we're above these instincts cognitively?
Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#233Earlier quoted context omitted.
Murder’s only the most extreme outcome. Physical harm happens at much higher rates than murder, and abuse might well affect this study. Rates of violence between partners show men instigating and abusing more often. A couple of different UN and US sources here are showing that a little over one in five women experiences abuse during her lifetime, compared to a bit under one in ten men: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki…
Sure. They talk about physical harm and abuse in the study, and it's obviously an important factor. I haven't (and wouldn't) claim otherwise. But I was specifically asking the OP about murder because it isn't obviously a significant factor in this study (and I was interested to hear why they thought otherwise). I'm confused as to what point you're trying to make.
Except humans aren't rational actors, driven by statistics, and obviously the women who were murdered can't be interviewed. But if there are more stories out there about women being murdered by a partner, and the stories are amplified by the news, it's easy to imagine this could have an effect on perception of the danger of a non-murderous but angry former partner. As to whether this is measurable in a sociological study, I have no idea.
Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#234Earlier quoted context omitted.
Also, (since we're speculating) from an evolutionary perspective it's advantageous for men to have positive view of and attraction to as many women as possible, while at the same time it's advantageous for women to be as sceptical and critical of men as possible.
>while at the same time it's advantageous for women to be as sceptical and critical of men as possible. I don't know about this. These days, I've seen and met many women who have numerous male friends. Sure, ultra-conservative and religious women don't, but lots of women aren't conservative any more.
I think "friendships" are further removed from base evolutionary instincts than sexual relationships are. Your base evolutionary instinct to select for mates is different than the ones we developed to form societies.
To put it bluntly, the colloquial prevalence of "thinking with your [genitals]" certainly indicates that people's higher social brain function tends to be clouded more often (reverting to base instinct) when sex is involved.
(Obviously, good relationships are based on friendship as well, but by definition the relationships in this study were not successful ones.)
Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#235I'd put it down to privilege. Women in traditional relationships are expected to perform more emotional labor over the course of the relationship and so the experience of being in a relationship is generally better for men, so they'll have more positive feelings afterward.
> expected to perform more emotional labor
Can you explain what you mean by this?
> the experience of being in a relationship is generally better for men
Seems wildly speculative.
Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#236Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex and relationships. The instinctual influence over men to have sex with multiple partners, I believe influences their desire to still "feel good" about prior partners. ...whereas a woman's instinctual desire to find a man to protect her offspring influences her desire to "feel bad" about prior partners who didn't stick…
Is it possible that it's folly to think we're above these instincts cognitively?
I think we're capable of rising above our instincts as a sentient species, and as a result human relationship desires are far more diverse than they would be for any other species of great ape, but instinct is not the only source of selection pressure involved, since those instincts are often reinforced by culture and society, religion and sometimes by law.
Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#237Earlier quoted context omitted.
OK so you have no more information than anyone else? We all have friends who talk about relationships and its all anecdata. Not to mention you have a very specific group of open and non-standard people which could give a very different selection of behaviors than the normal population.
And?
Your fun little hippie commune doesn't extrapolate very well to society at large.
Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#238I'd put it down to privilege. Women in traditional relationships are expected to perform more emotional labor over the course of the relationship and so the experience of being in a relationship is generally better for men, so they'll have more positive feelings afterward.
> expected to perform more emotional labor Can you explain what you mean by this? > the experience of being in a relationship is generally better for men Seems wildly speculative.
Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#239Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study
#240Earlier quoted context omitted.
> If historically 'gender' and 'sex' were mostly synonymous but recently people have decided to use the words differently then that's fine, but it doesn't make it wrong for people to still use the words the old way. But using the phrase “biological gender” isn't using them in the old way: the way in which they were synonymous is in reference to a idea which conflated sex, gender identity, and socially ascribed gender…
" But using the phrase “biological gender” isn't using them in the old way: the way in which they were synonymous is in reference to a idea which conflated sex, gender identity, and socially ascribed gender. " You just contradicted yourself. If the term 'gender' conflates several ideas, and adding the term 'biological' distinguishes them, then the previous poster hasn't changed the meaning of the word 'gender'. He's…
> If the term 'gender' conflates several ideas
It doesn't. It, when used in the old sense for which sex was equivalently used, refers to one idea which does not recognize the physical, psychological, and social elements as distinct. It does not conflate different ideas, it predates the idea of a distinction; the idea of the distinction is concurrent with the terminology which incorporates it.
“Biological gender” is neither the new common usage (which labels the biological element “sex") nor the old usage (which refers to an indivisible trait.)