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Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

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Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#131

Post by caseysoftware »

floatingatoll wrote: post #97
louisswiss wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> wondering whether their sample acknowledges the disproportionate number of men who murder their ex-female-partner Curious how this is relevant to the study? Roughly 0.001% of women are killed by a male partner each year in the US and - while terrible in of itself - I can't see it affecting the results of this study in any significant way.

Among US women, fear/wariness-of and preparedness-for attempts at bodily harm and abusive behavior by men appears to be near-universal. EDIT: Removed bad pre-coffee math. See replies below for better math. I hope this helps you see why such a consideration could be considered relevant to the study.

The 0.001% is a few magnitudes off. In 2018, there were ~15,500 murders in the US with spouses and family members in general being ~15% of those victims.

Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_the_United_States#Hom...

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#132

Post by vinceguidry »

I'd put it down to privilege. Women in traditional relationships are expected to perform more emotional labor over the course of the relationship and so the experience of being in a relationship is generally better for men, so they'll have more positive feelings afterward.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#133

Post by magduf »

psv1 wrote: post #79
jevgeni wrote: post #44

My bet is that men tend not to have emotional support or positive attention in their lives, unless it's from a mate, hence they value it more.

Also, (since we're speculating) from an evolutionary perspective it's advantageous for men to have positive view of and attraction to as many women as possible, while at the same time it's advantageous for women to be as sceptical and critical of men as possible.

>while at the same time it's advantageous for women to be as sceptical and critical of men as possible.

I don't know about this. These days, I've seen and met many women who have numerous male friends. Sure, ultra-conservative and religious women don't, but lots of women aren't conservative any more.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#134

Post by louisswiss »

floatingatoll wrote: post #97
louisswiss wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> wondering whether their sample acknowledges the disproportionate number of men who murder their ex-female-partner Curious how this is relevant to the study? Roughly 0.001% of women are killed by a male partner each year in the US and - while terrible in of itself - I can't see it affecting the results of this study in any significant way.

Among US women, fear/wariness-of and preparedness-for attempts at bodily harm and abusive behavior by men appears to be near-universal. EDIT: Removed bad pre-coffee math. See replies below for better math. I hope this helps you see why such a consideration could be considered relevant to the study.

> 0.001% of US women is somewhere in the six-figures territory (125,000 per year if I do my math right)

No - you're off by two orders of magnitude. Much closer to ~1500 women/year.

That's still ~1500 too many, no question. But is it likely to impact this study in any meaningful way? Seems unlikely to me (to put it mildly).

> Among US women, fear/wariness-of and preparedness-for attempts at bodily harm and abusive behavior by men appears to be near-universal.

That sounds like a reasonable assumption and not one I'd argue against (as someone with no real insight here).

But the question was explicitly regarding murder. Not more general violence/abuse.

I welcome the well-meaning comment and think your contribution was valuable in its own right, but please don't move the goalposts.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#135

Post by shantly »

harshreality wrote: post #104
Angostura wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You appear to be confusing grammar and biology. Why shy away from the word 'sex' when discussing sex?

Honestly? Because sex is a borderline bad word in polite company, and can get you into trouble if someone misses context and thinks you're talking about sex sex, while gender isn't a problematic word. The United States is so damned puritan in its culture that it's risky to use words that have a normal context that's problematic. [For instance, someone could overhear it out of context and think you're being inappropri…

To support your point: I've seen products avoid using "sex" on a form in favor of "gender", when what they mean is "sex". Like, the difference was brought up in meetings, and they just didn't want to have the word "sex" appear in their program because it seemed more immediately eye-catching and distracting (and they're probably kinda right).

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#136

Post by lwhi »

psv1 wrote: post #127
lwhi wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I believe the criteria needs to be more nuanced that 'man' and 'woman' to be able to elicit anything valuable about society.

It's enough for the criterion to be real in order to be of interest. And this one is definitely real.

Okay, this is where I leave you I'm afraid.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#137

Post by magduf »

malandrew wrote: post #73
jevgeni wrote: post #44

My bet is that men tend not to have emotional support or positive attention in their lives, unless it's from a mate, hence they value it more.

Alternative hypothesis: Or the lack of emotional support means they don't have people around them feeding their resentment, so they just move on with their lives.

Here's my not-so-scientific hypothesis partially formed by my last relationship: women frequently get "BFFs" (other women best friends) who they're extremely close to emotionally, sometimes much more than their own boyfriend/husband. And sometimes (frequently?) these BFFs are extremely "toxic" women, who give them terrible relationship advice, try to break up their relationship because they hate the woman's bf/husband or are jealous, etc. So, as you said, after the breakup, the BFF feeds her resentment, continually telling her what a POS her bf was, and how she's better off without him even if it means being forever single, etc.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#138

Post by ambicapter »

k__ wrote: post #107

I'm living mit multiple partners and they are also dating multiple people. Since they tell me about their dating experience, I got more insight of how other men behave to women, then when I lived monogamous. What I wanted to say is, after what I heared from my partners about men they dated, I totally understand these results.

Men are the WORST! BLEGH!

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#139

Post by Spooky23 »

malvosenior wrote: post #93
Spooky23 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Relationships are more "loaded" with negative personal consequences for women. Less so than in the past, but it's there. There's often a negative interpretation of a woman having more relationships or ending one that isn't really a factor with men. IMO, this creates a bias to justify ending a relationship for cause. With a man, there's no threshold where your next girlfriend will lead to you being categorized negativ…

It seems to me the negative consequences are about the same for men and women. Lots of women speak poorly of their exes and get their friend groups turned against them...

I mentioned to a group of friends that I had run into a female acquinatance from 20+ years ago, who is now a judge.

The reaction: "Lol. She was quite the party girl." Not the reaction that you'd get re: a dude.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#140

Post by jstanley »

fabiofzero wrote: post #129

That's because cis men in general are trash. Since 90% of the audience here is cis male this comment will be downvoted into limbo, thus confirming the statement.

This is a perfect example of an attempt at Kafkatrapping, specifically I'd say it is a "model S" Kafkatrap: http://esr.ibiblio.org/?p=2122

> Skepticism about any particular anecdotal account of {sin,racism,sexism,homophobia,oppression,…}, or any attempt to deny that the particular anecdote implies a systemic problem in which you are one of the guilty parties, is itself sufficient to establish your guilt.

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