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Ask HN: How do you deal with depression?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with depression?

#31
One thing that's helped me is journaling. I used to write by hand, but find doing so too slow, even when I type.. so in recent years I've taken to recording my thoughts in on a voice recorder (though a smart phone with a voice recording app would probably serve just as well). What I say is completely private, and meant for no one's consumption but my own, though I very rarely even review what I said. I talk about what's been happening in my life, my concerns, and my thoughts on various subjects.

It's much like therapy, though of course without a therapist's comments or insights, so it's not quite as good, but I still find it very helpful to talk through what's been going on with me.. and sometimes I even come to novel conclusions and insights through this process.. thoughts and perspectives I did not have before I started.

Othre things that help are listening to positive, energetic music, going outside on bright, sunny days, spending time in nature, eating a healthy diet (including supplements like D3 and B12 that I don't get enough of in my life otherwise), and exercise. Talking to interesting, friendly people helps, as does having a fulfilling job that pays enough to pay for the basic necessities and keep me from living on the streets. Occasional treats that make me feel better afterwards (as opposed to ones that feel good in the moment but awful or guilty afterwards).

I like to visit libraries a lot (particularly academic libraries), and often feel at peace there, lost among the greatest minds the world has ever seen, all at my beck and call, willing to share their experience and wisdom as I become ready to learn what they have to teach.

Computer games can also be de-stressing and distracting, thought when they're really good it's too easy to slip in to addiction, which could have adverse consequences if one plays them to the neglect of other important aspects of one's life.

Something else that helps is meditation (of the simply focusing on one's breath type). Avoiding toxic people who try to drag you down with them helps. Learning to enjoy your own company and like yourself instead of loathing yourself helps.

Sometimes talking to someone at a crisis hotline helps (if you're lucky enough to get someone good on the phone). Finding a good therapist you like, respect, and trust, and to whom you can do the hard work of opening up to is of course wonderful as well.

That said, some days nothing helps (or you are just too depressed to do any of those things that help, or forget about them), and you just have to ride out the feelings and try to take comfort in the recognition that those feelings are not permanent, and you will feel better sometime in the future. Having ridden out many such days in the past helps. As the saying goes, time heals all wounds.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with depression?

#32
Lots of exercise. Gets a whole bunch of chemicals in your brain to flow again. Some of those chemicals cause depression. But they need to come out of the system (eventually).

Lots of water. Drink water when you are tired. When angry. When sad. When bored. When excited. When energetic. Removes toxic chemicals in the body.

Good thoughts. Great thoughts. Speak to a psychologist. Read a book. I did.

Arrogance hides away anger. Anger hides away sadness. Sadness hides away attitude of helplessness. Helplessness is lack of resourcefulness. So be resourceful.

Forgive. Forget. Move on.

Lower expectations of yourself.

Increase appreciation of others, and of yourself.

Lots of sleep. Depressed people sleep a lot. But your sleep needs to be strictly regulated.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with depression?

#33
I examined the rhythms of my depression and left Seattle for a much less expensive, and much sunnier city. The number of times I have to take that little inner voice who thinks suicide is a valid solution to my problems, pat her on the head, and say "thank you for your lovely contribution, I will treat it with the same seriousness I treat all your other suggestions"* has dropped from one or more times a day to... I think maybe once or twice in the entire half a year since I left Seattle?

A sun lamp helped some. So did lots of vitamin D. So did exercise. Pole dance, to be precise, I need to get back into that now that I'm settled. But it helped less and less every year, to the point where I felt like I only had a few years left before I'd be at serious risk of acting on that voice's suggestions.

Previously I also dealt with depression by staring my gender dysphoria in the face and taking a lot of hormones to persuade my body to get to the point where nobody thinks twice about giving me my preferred pronouns. Things were pretty good until I moved to places where there was Real Winter.

Dissect your depression. Analyze it. Listen to it - maybe even name it, that suicidal urge had a name borrowed from an old RPG character who did a lot of self-harm stuff. When you come to the conclusion that a lot of your depression comes from trying to deal with a particular Horrible Thing, then work on changing your life so that Horrible Thing is not part of it any more.

Oh yeah. Meditation can be valuable too. Just sit and watch your thoughts pass through you, if you catch one running away with you then just shrug, remind yourself "silence!" and get back to trying to empty your mind. Do it every day, or as close to every day as possible. This will give you a lot of training in recognizing different parts of your brain, detaching from unwanted trains of thought, and otherwise managing your brain. You will probably suck at first. Allow yourself to do this, celebrate getting better.

* which is to say "dismiss it and get on with my life as best I can despite being pretty miserable"; this little mental exercise of treating that urge as a separate personality and telling her that I did, indeed, hear her idea helped me dismiss it when it came up instead of spending ages going around in a mopey rut.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with depression?

#35
Here’s some preventative ideas (that are still worth doing when you have depression) — http://wiki.secretgeek.net/protective-factors-for-mental-hea...

Also CBT/ACT are worth studying. (Cognitive behavioral therapy/ Acceptance and commitment therapy). I’ve written a little bit about them here: http://wiki.secretgeek.net/cognitive-behavioral-therapy

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with depression?

#36

Cardio helps a lot for me personally. I'm a firm believer that most people (myself included) don't get enough exercise when compared to hundreds of years ago. It gives me a dedicated hour or two block of time to listen to podcasts, and exercise in general is healthy anyways so its a win-win.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with depression?

#38
Best thing I did was give up coffee.

edit: Eases up the mood swings (TBH, I'm probably just in a stable phase (which gave me the will to stop coffee in the first place), but stopping wild upswings in mood with coffee cessation seems to have greatly muffled the back swings. touch wood touch wood touch wood.)

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with depression?

#40
I found David Burns' 'The Feeling Good Handbook' an invaluable resource while coping with depression and probably the factor that helped the most. Others probably were removing stress (changed from a job which was just not working for me), getting longer sleep hours, regular exercise, getting more sunlight, 5-10 minutes meditation and reading books encouraging a positive outlook and gratitude such as 'Search Inside Yourself'.
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