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I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

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Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#551
post #199
post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In 99.9% of cases you don't. It's mostly spam. Facebook is a friend platform, not a stranger platform. Don't use it to message strangers, it's very explicitly not what the platform is designed for.

If email worked this way, the whole thing would collapse, because much of the time, you really do want to receive messages from new people. How would contacting a business work if their email system auto-rejected all messages from people not already known? Sure, spam is a big problem, and that's why we've invented spam filters. Google was able to do that and it works well. Granted, Google is a huge company with lots…

> If email worked this way, the whole thing would collapse, because much of the time, you really do want to receive messages from new people.

Of course. But Facebook isn't e-mail. A closed system that thrives on heavily weighted social graphs is just nothing like an open standard for arbitrary message exchange.

> Wrong, it's designed to help people get in contact with each other.

Based on what? Have you used Facebook? Everything they do is about building and establishing communities, that's their business and they know it. They do almost nothing to help strangers communicate one-off. We are literally in the middle of a discussion about how Facebook gives low priority to messages from strangers, which is evidence that they have this mentality.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#552

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is what friend requests are for. I don't want unsolicited messages from people. It's bad enough for me on LinkedIn, where that's the whole point.

When I still maintained a FB account, I had very few friends, basically family plus 2-3 others. I didn’t like the privacy problems. Not everyone uses the tool the same way you do.

Tools don't exist in a vacuum. When a tool is a closed platform driven by a business, that business is going to heavy-handidly steer how the tool is used.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#553
I feel pleased reading the stories on the comments here.

Two years ago, I was in a mountain ski resort in Big Sur with some friends and found an iPhone (with no emergency contact) with a wallet case containing an ID card on the floor. They were afraid of taking it from the floor. Still, I had just been past the security office, took it without thinking at all, and went straight to it while trying to find the girl who lost if on Facebook to send her a message.

When I arrived there, I was holding the ID to copy the person's name in the Facebook search. There was a queue with some people talking with the security officer there. Once it was my time, I was putting back the ID.

The officer was such an asshole, I thought he might call the cops to question me about it.

I said I found the phone on the floor. The officer kept me asking why I went through someone's else things. Multiple times like I was doing something evil.

I got upset really quick and told something like 'look, I found this on the ground full of snow and am trying to find the owner' and left the office immediately.

I told my friends (all Brazilians, like myself), and they told me the culture there was different, and probably I should have asked someone to come over to retrieve the object instead of taking it there on my own, as I didn't want to be accused of anything. I never bought this explanation.

Despite what happened, I'd have done the same again.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#554

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reflexive cynicism is a simple, easy way of asserting intellectual superiority over others without directly insulting them. Super common in internet comments, including, arguably, this one. It's vastly less complicated to just assume and assert that everything is bullshit everywhere, all the time, than to actually try to discern where cynicism and optimism are each warranted.

floatrock is pointing out the fact that there is a motive for this to be a PR stunt. I'm not sure that's reflexive cynicism. I've seen that type of cynicism and it is ugly. It's also ugly to assume there are never ulterior motives, or to disparage someone for questioning something. I've found that just as there is reflexive cynicism designed to feel superior, there's also reflexive anger to people who go against the…

> He never put blanket statements and didn’t even accuse the event of being fake. He merely pointed out it might be.

I feel like this is a debate-team style nuance that doesn’t really have merit in actual conversations.

If somebody tells me a story about their day, and I respond “well, it’s possible that you made all that up, and this is all a ruse to trick me”, I’ve not accused them of making it up, I’ve just pointed out it’s possible. But I’ve implied an accusation, otherwise I’d not have gone out of my way to announce this “possibility”.

And, as noted in your comment, you then do directly accuse the reply of being “reflexive anger towards cynicism”, with the implication that the audience is required to provide “deep consideration” when responding to the possibility. If the original comment is just pointing out something that could potentially be true, without any accusation, why are the rest of us required to give it deep consideration?

Can’t I just respond “well it’s possible you’re fake!”? To which the original commenter could retort “no, you’re fake!” And then we go back and forth forever, secure in the knowledge that it’s impossible to totally prove the voracity of any story. That would lead to a lot of comments back and forth, but it seems unlikely any of them would lead to meaningful/productive discussion.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#555
post #491

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not a contactless payment, it's a bank transfer. The person who found the wallet sent payments of £0.01 to the owner. When you make bank transfers you can include a short payment reference which can be any text you want, and it appears on the other person's statement. The UK has the Faster Payments Service which enables most bank transfers to be completed in a few seconds, so they would have seen the messages im…

now i got it, so he sent the money to the owner, and the owner had the switf & co in the wallet, but not his data. that's strange :)

It's not so strange. Many debit cards in the UK have the sort code and account number printed on them, which is all the information you need to send money to that account.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#556

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I turned in more than one lost wallet or debit card to a librarian (or similar) while homeless. I didn't want to call them myself or whatever because I was homeless and I knew I was automatically suspect as a thief because of it. So I wanted someone the world would trust/believe to deal with it. Well before I was homeless, attempts to return wallets or found ID cards or whatever were consistently met with suspicion.…

I like the library as proxy return idea. I've tried to return stuff via my police precinct. Couldn't be bothered. I once returned a wallet via a "I Saw You" style personal ad in our local arts paper. (One of his frat brothers saw the ad and posted it on his door. Result!) I've returned a few phones. Because they've been locked, I had to wait until someone calls (answer) or texts it (quickly write down number, then us…

Android has that, you just have to turn it on in settings (which no one does). Maybe it should be part of first-time setup.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#557
post #554

Earlier quoted context omitted.

floatrock is pointing out the fact that there is a motive for this to be a PR stunt. I'm not sure that's reflexive cynicism. I've seen that type of cynicism and it is ugly. It's also ugly to assume there are never ulterior motives, or to disparage someone for questioning something. I've found that just as there is reflexive cynicism designed to feel superior, there's also reflexive anger to people who go against the…

> He never put blanket statements and didn’t even accuse the event of being fake. He merely pointed out it might be. I feel like this is a debate-team style nuance that doesn’t really have merit in actual conversations. If somebody tells me a story about their day, and I respond “well, it’s possible that you made all that up, and this is all a ruse to trick me”, I’ve not accused them of making it up, I’ve just pointe…

> If somebody tells me a story about their day, and I respond “well, it’s possible that you made all that up, and this is all a ruse to trick me”, I’ve not accused them of making it up, I’ve just pointed out it’s possible. But I’ve implied an accusation, otherwise I’d not have gone out of my way to announce this “possibility”.

Except your example is not very compatible.

First, by making it a direct accusation, instead of 2 third parties discussing someone else. If I said it directly to you, you'd be correct in the accusation bit. Situations will make the same words have very different interpretations.

Second, and most importantly, your example has no reason. It's just doubt for doubts sake. That's the definition of reflexive. floatrock isn't just saying 'it's possible you made it up'. But, 'hey look, climate deniers are funded by big oil, maybe they are biased/not honest'. Conflict of interest is a REASON for doubting.

floatrock did provide reason for his doubt in the form of the exposure of a conflict of interest. Which is why I felt his comment was good. He even showed the doubt in a conscientious, non aggressive way. I actually don't agree that it was a PR stunt. But putting out relevant information, like conflicts of interest, should be relevant to all thinking people.

Next, you are welcome to provide a REASON for why it isn't a PR stunt. Personally, I think such a PR stunt would have marginal benefits toward the KPIs for transfer wise. Their small team would probably be better served on other things than this PR thing, if it was that. So I personally don't think it was a PR stunt. But that's beside the point. The point I was making: Reflexive statements suck, whether reflexively cynical, or reflexively sheepish, and I felt the person making the 'reflexive' accusation was unintentionally ironic.

The fact that you are ignoring the 'reasoning' element, makes the word 'reflexive' not seem relevant, when it is.

You can't prove anything definitively, but you can provide evidence to further an idea or not.

Evidence, reasoning... that's where the in-depth comes from. I would hope that's required on both sides.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#558

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Lion tamers are also regularly killed and or maimed by their lions.

The word usually in that sentence admits to that outcome. Nowhere have I claimed any of this is "bullet proof." Just that consistent positive outcomes suggest an element of skill and knowledge that claims of pure luck erroneously dismiss as not existing at all.

Fair enough there is an element of skill. It's still a foolish idea to be a Lion tamer.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#559

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The word usually in that sentence admits to that outcome. Nowhere have I claimed any of this is "bullet proof." Just that consistent positive outcomes suggest an element of skill and knowledge that claims of pure luck erroneously dismiss as not existing at all.

Fair enough there is an element of skill. It's still a foolish idea to be a Lion tamer.

[deleted]

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#560

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ive both once lost and found a debit card in an ATM. The one I found was left in a drive thru on a Saturday morning. The branch was open, so I walked in and dropped it off. I have no idea what the bank did after that. I once left mine at an ATM, the bank cancelled the card and issued a new one before I even realized I'd left it behind.

But how? Doesn't the ATM eat it up if you don't take it in 30s or so?

This was a while ago, and Things have changed since I've had my ATM eaten. Now, they do not dispense cash until the card has been removed.
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