> Hot take: no it isn't.
Odd. I did some Haskell in prodution (hardware control and Unix daemons) and it was delightful.
> It is extremely hard to learn, has an extremely confusing + needlessly complicated syntax and I question the payoff immensely.
It is unfamiliar if you have only worked in the C family of languages. The syntax is quite similar to the rest of the ML family, which dates back to 1973. It's basically as old as C. I had the good fortunate of learning Standard ML around the same time as C, SQL, and Perl. Standard ML and SQL were by far the most straightforward to learn.
> If I stood up in a corporate business boardroom meeting for tech analysis on a new project and said "I want to write it in Haskell", I'd get laughed + kicked out.
Yes, you would, because why are you talking about programming languages in a boardroom? If you mean a more technical review committee, I wouldn't be so sure of that.