I just lost my wallet on the way home from work • Hacker News Board

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#511

Post by siffland » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 3:25 PM UTC

DoreenMichele wrote: post #316

SI_Rob wrote: post #51

Every so often my pessimistic tendencies get a healthy slap across the face by the actions of someone who took the high road when they easily could have chosen otherwise. It's a couple summers ago, at the height of the summer tourist season and I'm cycling up 4th ave SW in DC. Somewhere between the NASA HQ and the National Mall my camera bag - packed full with a fairly new DSLR, a few lenses, and a secondary cell pho…

I turned in more than one lost wallet or debit card to a librarian (or similar) while homeless. I didn't want to call them myself or whatever because I was homeless and I knew I was automatically suspect as a thief because of it. So I wanted someone the world would trust/believe to deal with it. Well before I was homeless, attempts to return wallets or found ID cards or whatever were consistently met with suspicion.…

Back in '96 or '97 i found a pager dropped on the ground (they were pretty expensive back then), it was at night so i took it and called the lost and found number on the back. I was on the phone for about an hour and finally got to someone who gave me an address to mail it back to. I was in college and literally eating ramen noodles, i told them i was not getting a box and paying to mail it back. The person on the phone was rude and agreed to send a prepaid box to mail it back in.

That was over an hour of my life wasted and the company didn't seem to be grateful, hopefully the owner was...I will return things if found, just a bit more jaded about it.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#512

Post by zantana » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 3:31 PM UTC

lkrubner wrote: post #293

In terms of the kindness of strangers, I’m reminded of a friend who decided she wanted to hitch hike around Mexico when she was 18. She was poor but she wanted adventures. She wanted to get away from the beaten path, away from tourist traps, and go out into the rural areas so she could discover what Mexico was really like. Everyone who picked her up warned her that what she was doing was very dangerous. She was lucky…

This is literally survivorship bias.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#513

Post by zantana » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 3:35 PM UTC

ojosilva wrote: post #422

Someone registered and paid for a new Netflix account with my gmail address plus a point somewhere, which Gmail ignores. So I logged into the Netflix account, thinking it was actually mine and this was some misunderstanding. I realized that was not the case, so I to tried to get in touch with the person but no other info was available, everything was done from his phone apparently according to the account logs. I fig…

It does make a case for not using common user names. I used to always try to use my first name in the early days of the Internet, but it was almost always taken.

The one time I got it was with one of the Maxis online accounts and for the next couple of years I seemed to get a bunch of password reset requests from people who thought it was their account.

While there's something to be said for not using the same user name across different systems using a very common name is not a mistake I'm going to make again.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#514

Post by crimsonalucard » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 3:35 PM UTC

OJFord wrote: post #227

crimsonalucard wrote: post #202

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you tell me how this constitutes as flame-bait? From my anecdotal experience I feel my comment is true. The comments in response to mine offer enlightening information to the contrary. I didn't post it to flame anything only to generate interesting responses. I'll try to stop doing what I think you want but note that from my perspective, I just have a different perspective on certain things and I find it only wor…

Not that my view holds any moderation weight, but for me (and as far as my up/down vote goes) that might've been fine if you'd expanded on it more, exactly what is 'only in rich countries' and how something's specifically different in not-rich countries, i.e. sharing some insight and adding something less low effort to the discussion. 'only in rich countries' on its own just reads like a Reddit-esque meme/jokey dismi…

That's legitimate. I can agree with that and the downvote. But you realize that I was accused of flame baiting meaning I was accused of making up a statement purely for the purposes of inducing anger.

I would argue that clearly from the evidence in the responses, such a statement (while it did attract downvotes) did not attract flame and therefore was not "flame bait."

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#515

Post by DoreenMichele » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 3:49 PM UTC

marvin wrote: post #501

DoreenMichele wrote: post #451

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't doubt that's a factor. But I also know that I have a very long track record of successfully negotiating circumstances that others deem untenable and I've actually taken college classes in subjects such as Negotiation and Conflict Management. Nonetheless, I am consistently and insistently told that I am simply lucky as the entire explanation for those outcomes. It doesn't matter how reasonably I engage, I'm ou…

It makes sense that competence can look like blind luck to people who are unfamiliar with the environment, if it's an environment that behaves in a subtle way and is rarely experienced by an average person. I'd guess that some social environments often behave like this, where information is difficult to objectively classify and measure, but someone with great people skills will be able to reliably get an indication o…

reliably get an indication of risk and intentions.

Best practices don't actually require an assessment of intentions. Just like mountain climbers use safety gear whether the mountain seems like a suspicious character or not, erring on the side of caution socially doesn't actually require a determination of intent to reduce the odds of assault. (Inferring likely intent can be useful, but really shouldn't be a high priority per se when acting to protect yourself.)

You are at least the second person here to say something along these lines. Perhaps it casts light on a detail I need to somehow focus on more when such topics come up and which is a source of the profound disbelief and denial and assertions that a track record of success due to competence is simply not remotely humanly possible.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#516

Post by filleduchaos » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:01 PM UTC

dpcan wrote: post #117

kraftman wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Those things don't have phone numbers/email on them, so getting in contact with the owner isn't that easy.

Most cards have a business name or person's name. Taking the card to the police or the bank would get a call directly to them. Who would think, I'm going to start a chain of 1 penny transaction to contact this person at this bank account, and hope they get them before they cancel their bank account because they lost their wallet. And is this a wallet with cash and a single card with no identifiable information on it?…

> because they have access to that bank account now. Pretty simple

Have you ever considered that most countries don't have banking systems as ass-backwards as the US does?

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#517

Post by technothrasher » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:11 PM UTC

mirimir wrote: post #484

DoreenMichele wrote: post #316

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I turned in more than one lost wallet or debit card to a librarian (or similar) while homeless. I didn't want to call them myself or whatever because I was homeless and I knew I was automatically suspect as a thief because of it. So I wanted someone the world would trust/believe to deal with it. Well before I was homeless, attempts to return wallets or found ID cards or whatever were consistently met with suspicion.…

In some Landmark course, many years ago, our homework included giving $1 to one random person every day, and recording what happened. As I recall, maybe 50% of people wouldn't take it, at least at first. This was, of course, mainly an exercise in sharing Landmark.

In major cities, I've been burned so many times with people trying to grab my attention for some agenda or other, usually to sell me something or peddle some wierd conspiracy, or both. I'm afraid I'd be one of the people who wouldn't take your dollar.

Out in the country, I'd likely be more receptive.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#518

Post by specialist » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:12 PM UTC

DoreenMichele wrote: post #316

SI_Rob wrote: post #51

Every so often my pessimistic tendencies get a healthy slap across the face by the actions of someone who took the high road when they easily could have chosen otherwise. It's a couple summers ago, at the height of the summer tourist season and I'm cycling up 4th ave SW in DC. Somewhere between the NASA HQ and the National Mall my camera bag - packed full with a fairly new DSLR, a few lenses, and a secondary cell pho…

I turned in more than one lost wallet or debit card to a librarian (or similar) while homeless. I didn't want to call them myself or whatever because I was homeless and I knew I was automatically suspect as a thief because of it. So I wanted someone the world would trust/believe to deal with it. Well before I was homeless, attempts to return wallets or found ID cards or whatever were consistently met with suspicion.…

I like the library as proxy return idea.

I've tried to return stuff via my police precinct. Couldn't be bothered.

I once returned a wallet via a "I Saw You" style personal ad in our local arts paper. (One of his frat brothers saw the ad and posted it on his door. Result!)

I've returned a few phones. Because they've been locked, I had to wait until someone calls (answer) or texts it (quickly write down number, then use my own phone to call back).

Phones need a "I found this lost phone" feature on the lock screen.

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#519

Post by Fnoord » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:13 PM UTC

I've lost my wallet multiple times in my life. Always got it back, intact (ie. nothing missing). Why? Because most people (99%) are good, and people are empathic to such circumstances. They'll help you out. I've done the same (in The Netherlands, the police will forward it to the city council).

Last time was a year ago. I lost my wallet out of my back pocket at a tunnel, on the road. I did not even know I was missing it, when someone was on the door. His son found it. I gave him a bottle of wine as a gesture (couldn't come up with something different, it all went fast).

Re: I just lost my wallet on the way home from work

#520

Post by specialist » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:18 PM UTC

mikepurvis wrote: post #323

roenxi wrote: post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is an interesting selection bias at work. 1) If someone on the street approaches you, they are probably up to something. 2) If you randomly select someone on the street you have probably picked a moral and upstanding person who would love to do you a good turn. Because of (1) people tend to be a lot more defensive than they need to be when assessing what the average stranger is likely to do.

This is why modern parenting guidance tends away from a blanket stranger danger policy toward something a bit more nuanced like "beware of a grownup who approaches you or initiates a conversations with you, but if you are in trouble, almost any grownup who looks safe to you is probably someone you can ask for help." You can add a few more layers like seeking out someone in a uniform or who has a stroller, but general…

That would have been awesome to implement.

My son was always hyper social. (I have no idea where he got that from.) Would walk up to any one, everyone and start a convo.

While it's fantastic that my son was so open, trusting, there is still a risk. A little girl two grades ahead of him was abducted and then found dead on a beach. (Oak Harbor WA, should any one want to dox me.)