Notes of a native tiger son: it's a weird time to be Asian-American

Granted, the girls in question seemed to be from generally poorer, low-education areas. That still doesn't excuse it in my book though.

There is no doubt, the article struck a nerve for many Asian-Americans, some of which try to either validate the way they grew up or the understandable resentment of others who feel cheated from some vocation that didn't materialize because of the Math/Violin issue.

Then there is this large group of what seems to be largely white who either figured there was something there for the upbringing of their children, and those who cry abuse.

As I was raised in another country, this conversation, whether of Asian origin or Caucasian, strikes me as a genuine american cultural phenomena. There is an anxiety here about children and the way they are brought up and educated that is unmatched anywhere else that i have seen. This discussion and the discussion of yesterday about the treatment of all males as defacto criminals in their approach to children, feeds from the same root, that strikes me at times as some kind of hysterical episode.

> "For instance, when I'm out with my Asian friends, we interact like we are kindergarten teachers, always very attentive to others' egos and emotions"

Whereabouts did/do you live? My Asian friends around here act no differently than any other human being I regularly interact with. I really don't get the "heightened emotional sensitivity" part. Similarly, nearly all of my western friends aren't the bromancing invulnerable types. Methinks this is less about race and more about hanging around with the wrong crowd.

As a further anecdote, as a westernized Asian, "sticking with your own kind" is not always advisable. Sadly, to this day when I meet a particularly Asian Asian, my initial reaction is one of wary distrust. I have yet to face anywhere near the same type of racial/cultural hatred from any white, brown, or black person as I have from my fellow yellows, for being "too white".

FWIW, I don't hate my parents - quite the opposite in fact. Then again, they weren't the stereotypical hyper-traditional Asian parent, so that might be something. What I do find sad yet hilarious is the number of Asian parents who spend years convincing their children to eschew any life skills in favor of academic achievement... and then get on their case when they end up with a boring dead-end desk job, no hobbies, and are generally miserable. Well, duh.

My last 3 cities: Houston, Cincinnati, Columbia SC.

In fact, lots of research on twins and adopted children suggests that parenting matters very little in shaping a child's personality and skills, while biology and peer groups matter a lot. Identical twins turn out quite similar regardless of whether they grow up in the same family, while adopted siblings are as different as any random people. (Check "How the Mind Works" by Pinker for a great overview.) People have a hard time accepting this, since most would like to believe that they have a power to shape their children, but this does not make it any less true.

> the Immigration Act of 1965... didn't just abolish racial quotas, it also created preference categories for science, math and engineering-trained immigrants to come over.

Ah, so Asian immigrants to the US are far from an unbiased sample of their original populations! This explains a lot more than bitter fights over parenting.