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Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

nytimes.com

391–400 of 402 posts

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#391

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Cultural changes and evolves, of course, but it's really hard to uproot a norm or more once it's settled in, even if it's one that causes you personal pain. Terence McKenna lectured on this at length. Here are some apropos quotations: "As a global civilization, we can no longer afford the luxury of an unconscious mind. When you can pull down the fusion processes that light the stars on the cities of your enemies, w…

Sorry for the offensive phrasing, but was this guy known for things beyond telling people to do DMT?

He was a great raconteur.

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#392

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You managed to insult many of both genders in a two-sentence span.

That's their fault, not mine. Read the drivel from celebrities on your carefully filtered twitter feed if you don't ever want to be offended.

Can you please not post like this to HN? We're trying for something a bit more thoughtful than the usual internet assaults. I'm sure you can make your substantive points more thoughtfully.

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#393
post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Confidence and vulnerability aren't opposites. The confidence that comes from going through vulnerability and coming out stronger is worth more than the facade style of confidence, which covers unprocessed weakness.

I think it is worth digging into the meanings of "vulnerability" and "confidence" here. I think "confidence" is rooted in the belief that "whatever happens, I'll be able to handle it. I'll be okay." Showing confidence is externally-emoting as if you believe that to be the case. Vulnerability...I'm less sure of. I think it is the ability to be wounded. By being vulnerable, you reveal information which someone else cou…

Even though your example with bisexuality is a little off, i think your distinction between showing a vulnerability versus expressing insecurity is good

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#394
post #392

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's their fault, not mine. Read the drivel from celebrities on your carefully filtered twitter feed if you don't ever want to be offended.

Can you please not post like this to HN? We're trying for something a bit more thoughtful than the usual internet assaults. I'm sure you can make your substantive points more thoughtfully.

It's not an assault. I am sharing my philosophy. It's what keeps me happy and why I don't need to go to support groups. But I guess that's just not welcome here.

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#395
post #392

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you please not post like this to HN? We're trying for something a bit more thoughtful than the usual internet assaults. I'm sure you can make your substantive points more thoughtfully.

It's not an assault. I am sharing my philosophy. It's what keeps me happy and why I don't need to go to support groups. But I guess that's just not welcome here.

Of course you're welcome to share your philosophy if you do so in a way that's substantive and relevant. But please do it without being so aggressive. "Read the drivel from celebrities on your carefully filtered twitter feed if you don't ever want to be offended" is the sort of flamewar style we don't want here.

It's not primarily that a comment like that is so bad in its own right. It's that it tends to produce worse from others and, compounded over time, that destroys the community.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#396
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can't discard the different pressures specific to each gender, and how each gender deals in their own way with those issues. This reminds me of schools that deal with boys like they are "broken girls", they are ignoring their natural gender attributes when assessing what's acceptable behavior.

Are you saying that there should be different standards of acceptable behavior for boys versus girls. Or are you saying if the schools paid more attention to how boys normally behave, they would accept a more broad definition of “acceptable behavior” for all children?

There shouldn't be different standards for boys vs girls, but the standards should be permissive enough to allow for both, which currently just plainly isn't the case in many situations. Sitting still and talking is okay, Roughhousing and climbing trees is not.

That is not to say that one gender will always pick one set of behaviours over the other, people are still individuals obviously, but as a generalisation there is a difference.

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#397
post #393

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it is worth digging into the meanings of "vulnerability" and "confidence" here. I think "confidence" is rooted in the belief that "whatever happens, I'll be able to handle it. I'll be okay." Showing confidence is externally-emoting as if you believe that to be the case. Vulnerability...I'm less sure of. I think it is the ability to be wounded. By being vulnerable, you reveal information which someone else cou…

Even though your example with bisexuality is a little off, i think your distinction between showing a vulnerability versus expressing insecurity is good

I would appreciate reading your understanding of where I'm missing the mark.

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#398
post #368

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is using anecdata to dismiss another poster, and isn’t the kind of comment you’d tolerate from others in a sensitive topic. It’s wonderful that’s been your experience of women, but don’t invalidate what others experience — particularly with a citation free comment. For those wondering why my comment is flagged: dang engages in political censorship, and flagged my account because of my views. I look forward to th…

We banned you for breaking HN's guidelines (with multiple accounts) and ignoring our requests to stop. Someone breaking the site guidelines to promote opposite views would get banned just the same. There's nothing wrong with anecdotes on HN. On the contrary, the threads here are supposed to be conversation, and anecdotes are the life blood of good conversation. https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true…

As we’ve discussed before, that’s merely a convenient pretext, and the application of it — indeed, the description of it you have in the rules — makes it clear you hold different ideologies to different standards, because you censor in alignment with group biases.

In short, the guidelines say “if you don’t agree with us, and use the same rhetoric we do, you get banned”. That is ideological censorship: the thresholds for censorship are based on the speaker’s ideology.

I look forward to incoming rules about social media, where companies such as yours who benefit from safe harbor are required to provide an open public forum rather than engage in ideological discrimination.

Google, FB, et al use the same pretext as you, and are being investigated ahead of legislation on social media discrimination — due to their rampant ideological censorship masquerading ad decorum.

I hope to see you in court, once the ban on public forum discrimination passes.

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> There's nothing wrong with anecdotes on HN.

This is also an outright dishonest reply to what I said.

You tolerate insulting and unsubstantive comments from yourself and others you agree with you wouldn’t tolerate from those you don’t.

You weren’t merely telling an anecdote: you were dismissing another poster’s experience based on your anecdote — something you routinely harp about when going the other ideological direction.

This is why they’re making new laws, biased censors like you.

Re: Men Are Waiting to Share Some Feelings (2018)

#400
post #294
post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think some of the articles recommend you find some good guys to talk to in a private setting, rather than posting things on your doorplate at a university, for instance. Talk with some good guy friends first if you think having sex with 14-year-olds is ok, and perhaps they'll give you some feedback so you don't have to hash it out on the public stage.

Having sex with a 14 year old person is completely ok in a lot of countries, including places like Germany & Italy [1], with no pedophilia panic going on. -- [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe

A late reply, to be sure, but I was reminded to check back by the new article about RMS on the front page now.

The point (in this discussion about talking about feelings with friends and supportive others) is not to discuss sex with underage people. The point is that you can hash things out with your friends and get some perspective on how widely you feel you need to share. Somehow I have friends with whom I can discuss my thoughts on who should have sex with whom, and thus I do not need to bring it to a public stage or a professional stage. This saves me a lot of trouble.

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