Ask HN: How did you prepare for being a first-time parent?

This is a pretty short and likely inadequate answer, but: I would definitely read books on child development and whatnot. :)

Had a baby a year ago, my mattress is on the floor and it really is comforting to not worry about him waking up before us and falling us. He's sneaky and doesn't really scream when he wakes up, he just explores.

Congratulations!

Prenatal classes are great for increasing your awareness ahead of the inevitable whirlwind of medical jargon you may experience. We did a Bradley Method[1] class and were planning a home birth, but discovered at 34 weeks that my wife and child were in a situation called "Placenta Previa" which predicated a cesarean delivery. I hope you never experience the terror and helplessness of watching the mother of your child (if you're the father; sharing the experience of a father) in pain, wondering what in the world is happening. I'm not saying this to scare you, but to say that learning as much as you can about birth is invaluable but only half the battle. There's no way to know everything, just get your bearings and find good sources and buckle up.

You will not be able to read everything, but getting the lay of the land of how birth works and what people will tell you ahead of time is incredibly helpful.

One thing I would say also about having my little guy about a year ago is that I would work on my relationship with my wife more if I could do it again. We have a lot of trust and we're fully committed, but having a kid takes almost all of your time for a long time. Sleeplessness, my return to work, her feeling of isolation and "confinement" for a time with him at home was hard on her and on us. I would encourage you to talk about those times, plan ways to get over those bumps, and get closer to each other. Other couples in our birth class talked about hiring a nanny to free up time and make things easier around the house. I thought they were posh and crazy, now I think they were brilliant and posh :)

Put the time in up front, get every help your system/insurance affords you - doula, pump, lactation consultant, pillows for the couch in the recover room - and drink it in. No matter how bewildering, scary, surprising, each and every individual moment may be, it is a beautiful time. Enjoy it!

[1] http://www.bradleybirth.com

My wife has worked in child care for years so that helped a lot. One of the coolest things she showed me was teaching our daughter sign language, before she could speak. My wife said that babies can get really frustrated when they know what they want but can't communicate it, but fortunately they learn gross motor control way before they can talk. So we taught her basic, simple signs like "more", "please", "thank you." I couldn't believe how quickly she picked it up and started communicating.

"What to expect when expecting", and the follow up books on the first few years. What it did mostly was address anxiety issues of 'omg is that normal....'

The other thing was telling my wife: 'Do not worry about if we are going to screw our child up. It is guaranteed. Only thing you can control is how badly you screw them up. That and hope Jerry Springer is canceled before they get old enough'