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Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

thetimes.co.uk

121–130 of 440 posts

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#122
post #87

I run 300 forums, and I had a startup for them. The lofty goal of the startup was to "cure loneliness" but I never told the users that. My path to doing this was to encourage interest based communication, in a way that would allow them to take it offline. How? Well to make it interest + geography, i.e. horology nerds in Cumbria, cyclists in London, petrol heads in Cornwall, audiophiles in Suffolk. By binding together…

I feel like it would be appropriate to share some of these forums in this thread, I think the immediate need outweighs anyone calling it out as self-promotion.

It's in his profile:

https://www.lfgss.com/

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#123

I just switched from a job where I could work from home anytime I wanted (which meant everyone on my team did so 100% of the time) to a job that requires everyone to be in the office 90% of the time because I want more face-to-face human interaction in my life. The convenience was great but, on the whole, it made me less happy.

I’ve worked from home for the past 9 years (doing software contracting) starting first year of my degree and up until now (20-28 years old).

I am specifically asking every one of my future employers for more of the office hours. I can’t stand the lack of everyday interactions.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#124
post #5

As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…

I moved to another country at the age of 30, which meant the number of friends I had dropped to 0. What worked for me was starting dancing tango, where I built a newer, better and larger network than the one I previously had. I guess this can apply to any social activity where you can interact with people, be it social dancing or coocking classes.

Martial arts are also a good option for this.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#125
post #33
post #5

As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…

I sometimes wonder if I’m broken when I see comments like yours, which seem heartfelt and correct and as it should be (the desire for friendships that is). Maybe it’s because my wife and kids fill the void, but I just have no interest in making or maintaining friendships. My wife has a really cool coworker that tries to get me out of the house but i just kinda flop on him. I live in a secluded spot that you can’t see…

until you get divorced

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#126
post #5

As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…

To be more accurate, this problem isn't gender specific. The problem is real and impacts everyone.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#127

These trends are set in contrast to times when fraternal organizations provided a kind of social fabric that isn't the norm now. For men who are recognizing that social isolation is a long term risk in their lives and want to do something about it, I heartily recommend looking into these organizations. They're a mixed bag, like anything, but a bunch of guys who can hold anything together for decades should make anyon…

As a gay male, I often have an additional wrinkle - in the Masonic orders, Eagles, Elks, or Moose Lodge, I feel I would be the odd man out in these situation.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#129
post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Try socialice wih people like yourself. Then you don't have to pretend emotions and only talk about things you actually care fore.

If it only was so easy :(

More so when you're physically challenged, having interests which are alien to the locality and with opinions which are not synonymous with the society.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#130
This is a symptom of something. While it is not easy to identify a specific underlying cause, I think if you’re not socialized at a young age in how to make friends or you don’t come from a large, extended family, it is nearly impossible to make meaningful relationships with others. Hobbies and social clubs are fine, but they can be transactional and transitory. Even with your spouse and kids and their friends/family, these relationships can be transactional. You’ll have a hard time communicating beyond words, sharing at a higher level.
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