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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#551

Post by hhjinks »

anon9001 wrote: post #360

I'm shocked at how many people seem to be doing OK or have minor complaints. For me, I've realized that if I have to do anything for 40+ hours a week on a schedule, after a couple of weeks, I'd prefer being dead. I could be a professional ice cream taste tester or race car driver, and after about 3 weeks of showing up at a fixed time and putting in 8 hours, I'd still be ready to off myself again. When I have week-lon…

Here comes an inverse take.

I used to believe what you believe... Before I started working. I couldn't imagine getting up before 9 every day and go to work, get home around 5, and repeat that every day.

Now that I've actually started working, I've completely changed. I took a week off to play Classic, but I was tearing my eyes out after three days, bored out of my mind. Now I feel like I can never see myself retiring without going completely insane.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#552

Post by im3w1l »

johnfactorial wrote: post #38
bpchaps wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This field fucking sucks. I'm tired of being on call 24/7/365. I'm tired of having to explain why plaintext passwords are bad. I'm tired of being taken advantage of for being a generalist. I'm tired of ex-google asshole bosses with massive egos. I'm tired of carrying a laptop with me "just in case". I'm tired of the constantly shifting "popular" technologies. I'm tired of spending weekends indoors studying for work,…

What will you do next? You can be rid of all these problems if you start raising chickens in the woods and selling eggs and poultry.

How much acreage would I need for that? Serious question.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#553

Post by yitchelle »

klenwell wrote: post #11

As a team lead, one question I always ask in my 1-on-1's: On a scale of 1-5 (low good, high bad), what's your stress level since we last met? If my teammate says 4 or 5, I ask what we can do to bring it down to a 3. We also address this as part of the simple assessment we do in each sprint retrospective. My company struggles to define meaningful KPIs and OKRs. This is the one that's most important to me.

That is an interesting question. How do you check its plausibility?

I was in a high pressured project for about 3 years and saw many engineers leave the project due to it. My fear that for the engineers still in it after 2nd year, their stress level of 4-5 has become the new stress level of 3. It has essentially masked the problem.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#554

Post by linuxftw »

codingstuffs wrote: post #535

Appreciate the question. Not particularly - the work culture at my current employer is slowly killing me. I have managed (through meds/therapy) depression/anxiety. The startup I'm currently working for has no work/life balance, which is severely starting to affect my health. Engineers are on call all the time. Having to check email on nights and weekends is just a normal week now. There is very little task management…

That sucks. Personally, I would try to just do less, without asking. On call? Don't answer. They probably won't fire you if they're running like that because there will be no way to replace you. And if they do fire you, oh well, you were planning on quitting that job anyway. I would spend most of my time at that place applying to greener pastures. Interview during lunch, come back like an hour late, just tell them car trouble or something. There's no reason not to lie to people that abuse you.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#555

Post by PopeDotNinja »

hprotagonist wrote: post #101
klenwell wrote: post #11

As a team lead, one question I always ask in my 1-on-1's: On a scale of 1-5 (low good, high bad), what's your stress level since we last met? If my teammate says 4 or 5, I ask what we can do to bring it down to a 3. We also address this as part of the simple assessment we do in each sprint retrospective. My company struggles to define meaningful KPIs and OKRs. This is the one that's most important to me.

"i'm going to answer 3 every time because if i say 4 or 5 i am worried and anxious that you're going to fire me." Welcome to impostor syndrome!

Holy crap this is so true. Anyone who's been on the receiving end of "wow, if you are so miserable here, maybe you'd be better off somewhere else" knows what I'm talking about :P. Being quite frustrated cuz work shenanigans makes shenanigan makers quite uncomfortable.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#556

Post by k0t0n0 »

1msi wrote: post #506

No. I’ve been really stressed out about work. This was actually a very cool job (8 minute commute, good coworkers) until about a month ago when a former coworker got promoted to manager. Suffice it to say he’s not cut out for the position. Our recent sprints have left me with fuck-all to do almost all the time while being massively overworked the tiny remaining portion of the time. Had a heart attack at work 4 weeks…

I am not the right person who can give advice. I hope things get better for you.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#557

Post by noaoh »

No. I'm a CSCE major in my last year of college and I simply don't want to be there. I feel frustrated, lonely, overworked, and that my hard work is not paying off in any meaningful way. I have an offer at (insert non-tech megacorp), and the deadline to respond is next week.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#558

Post by sudosteph »

anon9001 wrote: post #514
elwell wrote: post #498

Earlier quoted context omitted.

External things have limited relevance to the internal condition. "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." - Matthew 6:33

I don't believe in any gods, and I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean. Is that advice actionable for you in some way? What do you take it to mean as it relates to modern employment?

The point of the whole section is that it's more important to build a legacy of being a good person than to be wealthy.

One of the lines that proceeds that is:

>27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

Humans should be smart enough to figure out how not to starve and and not to freeze to death without working themselves to death preparing for a future that may not even come. We should care about each other enough to admit that those outcomes are not necessary and be willing to give and accept support form others from time to time.

Gospel of Thomas has a similar parable > , "There was a rich person who had a great deal of money. He said, 'I shall invest my money so that I may sow, reap, plant, and fill my storehouses with produce, that I may lack nothing.' These were the things he was thinking in his heart, but that very night he died.'

Ie, don't make yourself miserable for material possessions out of fear that if you lack them for a period you will never be ok ever again. You'll lack them when you're dead too. Stress yourself out too much about those things and you'll probably just die early without even attempting the things you wanted to do. At least attempt to improve the world in some way if you think you have the means and desire to do so. And even if you risk your material possessions to do so, it probably isn't the end of the world.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#559

Post by scns »

anon9001 wrote: post #514
elwell wrote: post #498

Earlier quoted context omitted.

External things have limited relevance to the internal condition. "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." - Matthew 6:33

I don't believe in any gods, and I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean. Is that advice actionable for you in some way? What do you take it to mean as it relates to modern employment?

That verse is worthless for atheists, but the first sentence is actually usable. How we experience life, how we feel is strongly influenced by the labels we attach to our experiences. Maybe meditation can help you, no god needed. Check out "The mind illuminated", this book gets recommended in pretty much every thread on hn about meditation and for good reasons.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#560

Post by mikelyons »

abathur wrote: post #477
mikelyons wrote: post #456

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not incredibly uncommon! I'm not saying it's normal or healthy, or even that this is my belief, these are just thoughts that I've had. Apologies for not disclaiming Edit: Tinder would be an example, depending on your location. Or instagram

Glad you noted this. I also came here to add that I also can't think of a single woman in my social circle (most of my friends are women) nor in my partner's that meets the earlier characterization. It's OK to think wrong things. We all think a lot of wrong things. It's important, because our brains are very good at rationalizing and filtering, to be skeptical of the voice that interjects those dark thoughts--to look…

How do you turn someone around from this thinking though to realize that they can attract what they want?
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