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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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491–500 of 898 posts

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#491

I'm shocked at how many people seem to be doing OK or have minor complaints. For me, I've realized that if I have to do anything for 40+ hours a week on a schedule, after a couple of weeks, I'd prefer being dead. I could be a professional ice cream taste tester or race car driver, and after about 3 weeks of showing up at a fixed time and putting in 8 hours, I'd still be ready to off myself again. When I have week-lon…

I also get the "waking up" feeling whenever I take more than a few days off, and going back to work feels like a death sentence (not in the judge-pounding-the-gavel sense, more in the it's-later-than-you-think sense).

I don't feel suicidal, but I do feel desperate to waste less of my priceless time on piling up the money so that I can survive and support a family in a society that seems engineered to trap me in this half-living state. Maybe I'm just weak, for not being willing to throw it all away and go live in a barrel up in the mountains.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#492

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its stressful for me because I'm running out of youth and I'm never going to find a mate :( The women just aren't attracted to a guy like me, or aren't interested in starting a family so much as poly-amory, drugs, revealing festival costumes, junk media, sex work, alcohol, or anything other than using their youth and looks for hedonism. Edit: Obviously touchy, people actually have thoughts like this, how do we loving…

We're on a thread about a suicide prevention campaign, but people still don't have the sobriety required to handle the thoughts that drive it.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#493

I recently experienced months of sleeping problems. Where I wouldn't sleep for days. Or would sleep a few hours. I would be exhausted and my head would hit the pillow and BAM adrenaline and I can hear my heart pounding and I'm awake. It got so bad I would go into the basement and destroy a wall that I kept repairing. I would cry in frustration. I started to have suicidal thoughts. It was harming my marriage and made…

There's something deeper here that runs counter to the generally accepted idea that lights from screens at night disrupts the body's circadian rhythm and keeps us awake. Anecdotally I know that I can go from "can't sleep; thinking about everything I have to do tomorrow" to asleep in 10 mins opening my phone and browsing reddit - in dark mode no less, makes me feel better about doing it - and reading mindlessly. Empha…

In the past I read something interesting about falling asleep. We all know how smoking, looking at a screen, eating sugar, etc... are all pretty bad to fall asleep, but actually what's helping the most isn't not doing theses things, it's the routine that you have before sleeping. Someone that does theses things every night, will have a much harder time to go to sleep if he doesn't do theses. Ideally it would be to just suck it up until you build an healthier routine I guess, but if your sleep is fine, why bother really? Just keep the routine that works for you.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#495

Thanks for asking. Not really, and it's 100% work-related. I dread coming in to work and it's given me awful anxiety that's turned into occasional passive suicidal ideation. Once I leave work, I feel like a totally different person and all the symptoms disappear. My boss calls me stupid, incompetent, r*tarded, and "like you have part of your brain missing". He grills me on literally everything I do, like why I'm gett…

Your situation is terrific. If flipping burgers can pay your living expenses, I would recommend to quit as soon as possible and search for a new job. Keep in mind that your life is more precious than everything else, especially a job.

I think you meant to say terrible rather than terrific.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#496

I'm shocked at how many people seem to be doing OK or have minor complaints. For me, I've realized that if I have to do anything for 40+ hours a week on a schedule, after a couple of weeks, I'd prefer being dead. I could be a professional ice cream taste tester or race car driver, and after about 3 weeks of showing up at a fixed time and putting in 8 hours, I'd still be ready to off myself again. When I have week-lon…

A subreddit for people who feel similar: reddit.com/r/antiwork.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#497

I am doing ok. Thanks for asking. I am working in my first "hard tech" job after graduating from the help desk. I am also working in my first real job. I am in my late 40's. I am a Unix sysadmin for a fortune 10 company. I have some old debts that I am slowly paying off. They are from years of bad jobs and bad decisions. I am working on getting a better job, migrating into development. My first HN comment. I hope I d…

I said Fortune 10 and now realize that the company is in the Fortune 200. Thanks for the encouragement nonetheless.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#498
post #375

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Find a remote job (take a pay cut if needed), move to a cheaper country if money is a concern. Work 3-4 hours on a beach. Totally realistic as long as you’re good at what you do and manage to get things done.

I did that and relocated from SF to a cheaper part of the country. How does working on a beach help? I'm expected to be online during core work hours and available for calls (in a quiet location with good internet). I feel like I've optimized working as much as humanly possible and I'm still going insane. My job pays well, has good benefits, has good coworkers, my opinion is valued, my work is appreciated, my boss is…

External things have limited relevance to the internal condition.

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." - Matthew 6:33

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#499
No, I am not OK. Mortgage, being sole provider, a heart attack (stress related) three years ago, corporate environment 9-10h a day, incompetent managers, impossible schedules, my own incompetence, family issues, suicidal thoughts. I’ve started seeing a therapist.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#500
Yes and no. I just began a period of what I guess you could call voluntary unemployment, due to years of neglecting my mental health. I've had all the symptoms, but have been more than a little embarrassed at even thinking of myself as being depressed, let alone taking medical leave or time off for what I've never been sure is even a real thing - not depression in general, but myself in particular. Am I depressed, or just lazy? Is it not an insult to think of myself as sick, when there are people out there with life threatening illnesses who somehow carry on? Etc.

Long story short, I've always compensated by just working harder - working late, staying up late, basically the workplace equivalent of constantly cramming. I hit a wall recently, and decided to take time off to sort out my life - which in my case means actually seeing a professional regularly and beginning treatment with antidepressants / SSRIs.

I'm not sure where it will lead, but the absence of stressors is for the moment quite nice. I've been able to cut out a number of bad habits, notably self medicating with (insert substance here). I don't want to get too candid, but you get the idea. I still haven't built myself back up to a place where I have a real and driving motivation to get back to work, and I still struggle with what might be considered pathetic 21st century spoiled aspirations of self actualization, but I'm hoping that in this downtime I can work my way back to finding the motivation and meaning in life that I've been missing.

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