A question I have is...why marriage at all? Is there a reason I need the government to recognize the union between my and my SO?
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The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
41–50 of 89 posts
Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#42Earlier quoted context omitted.
>Could part of the reason be that online dating pairs people who are more suitable for each other? I’d want a source on this because an algorithm matching people does not seem to be the most effective. yes there are special occasions where lifetime partners have met online but I don’t think online dating is the sole purpose behind the decline of marriage. Currently waiting for class to start so I can’t search for a l…
The algorithm used doesn't need to be any good at matching people for online dating to increase your chance of finding a suitable partner. A system which showed people to each other in a totally randomized way would still drastically increases the number of people you can superficially evaluate, and even a tinder style photos + blurb profile is rich in personality/cultural clues to base evaluation on.
>A system which showed people to each other in a totally randomized way would still drastically increases the number of people you can superficially evaluate
Is this really the ultimate goal for online dating? To expose us to a plethora of options in order to choose which one is best fit. It reminds of how Hot or Not could be seen as an early type of online dating that exposed us to randomized people, although without the option of being able to communicate with them beyond.
Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#43Marriage is a wonderful institution and the children that come from it are the greatest gift you can be given. Our culture tells us the opposite. But our culture is insane and wants you to be an isolated, rootless, consumer wage slave.
Seriously. I used to be on a high flying career path and was pretty happy about it. Then I had kids and realized I never knew what happiness was. I have about $2m and will be going to stay at home dad soon. Now everything at work seems like such utter bullshit. Who cares if this code compiles or not. We’re all just useless worms on a piece of dust. I’m going to spend my femtosecond with my kids.
Amen.
And congratulations.
But you are not a useless worm and this is not a piece of dust.
Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#44It's been explained to me that in the United States you pay less taxes when you are married, thereby resulting in a higher marriage rate than otherwise. I'm surprised this hasn't been contested - doesn't it seem discriminatory to those who don't want to institutionalise their relationship? I don't know any other country that has this tax aspect. edit many seem to presume there are not alternatives to marriage: a de f…
Marriage should be encouraged and taxes are a good way to do that. Children born out of wedlock and/or raised by single parents are generally much more disadvantaged and less well-adjusted than their peers being raised by functional nuclear families
Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#45A question I have is...why marriage at all? Is there a reason I need the government to recognize the union between my and my SO?
One reason is it offers legal protections so a disadvantaged mate isn't left with nothing. Especially in the case of a couple where one isn't working, perhaps to care for children.
Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#46Marriage is a wonderful institution and the children that come from it are the greatest gift you can be given. Our culture tells us the opposite. But our culture is insane and wants you to be an isolated, rootless, consumer wage slave.
> Marriage is a wonderful institution and the children that come from it are the greatest gift you can be given. This is true only if the finances are there to support it and both people really want it. In which case any "institution" can be considered wonderful and the fruit of it a "gift." Most people can't get out of the consumer wage slave trap, it's their only opportunity or the only one they know about or can u…
A close friend of mine had her mom and step dad married for easily 25 years and they both hated each other. He hated her kids (that lived with them) she hated his kids that were weed dealers (tbf so were her kids thats how I knew them lol). She gambled online all night or went to bingo, while he powered through a 30 pack on a Tuesday chillin on the couch.
They had to stay together because they couldn't afford to live without the other. They were already in a small ass apartment, they didn't have assets to liquidate. They were slaves to each other because they needed the money.
Unfortunately some of my close friends are stuck in a similar situation. Luckily they like each other more than the case above and have pretty much always struggled financially. But it's clear they need each others income to survive, and they just had a kid. Hoping they can maintain the love.
Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#47Earlier quoted context omitted.
Raising kids is hard enough with two dedicated parents. Marriage at least comes with the promise of staying together in the long term. Makes it a little harder for one partner to just leave. I have two kids. The idea of raising them by myself seems nearly impossible. Maybe it's doable if you're already independently wealthy or can heavily rely on nearby family or both. Still doesn't sound as healthy as having two ded…
> Marriage at least comes with the promise of staying together in the long term. I'm not sure the divorce rate agrees that this constitutes a promise.
A broken promise was still a promise at one point.
Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#48A question I have is...why marriage at all? Is there a reason I need the government to recognize the union between my and my SO?
One reason is it offers legal protections so a disadvantaged mate isn't left with nothing. Especially in the case of a couple where one isn't working, perhaps to care for children.
Your spouse also gets to collect half of your social security benefit (with no impact to you) if that is higher than their benefit if you were married at least 10 years.
Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#49A question I have is...why marriage at all? Is there a reason I need the government to recognize the union between my and my SO?
If you merge assets, marriage is a useful legal vehicle covering a common societal practice. One could also establish an LLC for the purpose, or not merge assets, of course.
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Re: The divorce rate has fallen because the demographics of marriage have changed
#50Marriage is a wonderful institution and the children that come from it are the greatest gift you can be given. Our culture tells us the opposite. But our culture is insane and wants you to be an isolated, rootless, consumer wage slave.
> Marriage is a wonderful institution and the children that come from it are the greatest gift you can be given. Perhaps this is true for you personally. How do you know that this an "universal truth".
I translate 'marriage' to 'mature monogamous partnership' and I think scientific research shows that people who have a happy long-term partnership live longer than lonely single individuals. Perhaps especially true if children are part of that partnership.
I don't think simply being married equates to happiness though. The institution is probably irrelevant when held up to the quality of the actual relationship.