How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers • Hacker News Board

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#11

Post by dfischer » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:09 AM UTC

ademup wrote: post #2

"Certain areas within parts of the brain linked to attachment, nurturing, empathy and the ability to interpret and react appropriately to a baby’s behavior had more gray and white matter between 12 and 16 weeks than they did between two and four weeks." For you father-programmers out there: did you notice any changes in your programming/work abilities around the 12-16 week mark?

Based on the replies, I jokingly conclude that the increase in gray and white matter during these baby phases is to handle the cognitive dysfunction of sleep deprivation.

I wonder if sleep deprivation is related to raising children pre industrial era. It seems logical but I don't know much on this topic. :)

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#12

Post by capsulecorp » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:12 AM UTC

dogma1138 wrote: post #8

Ancalagon wrote: post #3

I'm curious what the relation between child-rearing and balding might be, if any. The old-wives tale is that men needed to be evolutionarily "pushed" to settle down, and actually take care of their kids. I would think a drop in testosterone would actually have the reverse effect though, and reduce balding for those susceptible to dht.

What does balding have to do with settling down? Women really don’t seem to care nearly as much as men do...

If men care and they are the ones making the decision to settle down, then it has everything to do with it.

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#13

Post by jsiepkes » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:20 AM UTC

dogma1138 wrote: post #8

Ancalagon wrote: post #3

I'm curious what the relation between child-rearing and balding might be, if any. The old-wives tale is that men needed to be evolutionarily "pushed" to settle down, and actually take care of their kids. I would think a drop in testosterone would actually have the reverse effect though, and reduce balding for those susceptible to dht.

What does balding have to do with settling down? Women really don’t seem to care nearly as much as men do...

That has not been my experience. During my dating period (about 5 years ago) I was regularly told that my full head of hair was a pre. Though there could be bias there since the ones who care obviously were more likely to seek me out.

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#14

Post by Dwolb » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:20 AM UTC

senectus1 wrote: post #5

I can still remember "feeling" the change in everyday thought process once my 1st was born. It was so noticeable... like I'd just stepped into someone else's brain. really weird.

Are you able to elaborate?

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#15

Post by _rrnv » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:23 AM UTC

ademup wrote: post #2

"Certain areas within parts of the brain linked to attachment, nurturing, empathy and the ability to interpret and react appropriately to a baby’s behavior had more gray and white matter between 12 and 16 weeks than they did between two and four weeks." For you father-programmers out there: did you notice any changes in your programming/work abilities around the 12-16 week mark?

I had the opposite to the commenters above. I had the best ideas when attending to the baby, middle of the nights. I also started reading serious books (like geopolitical stuff) when my baby was falling asleep on my laps. I did some of my best and most efficient coding the first 3 months with the baby (when it was sleeping). I worked less, but better. My brain definitely shifted, I had an unparalleled motivation to do things. After 10 months it started to fade away and return to “normal”.

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#16

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:24 AM UTC

[deleted]

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#17

Post by nostrademons » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:25 AM UTC

ademup wrote: post #2

"Certain areas within parts of the brain linked to attachment, nurturing, empathy and the ability to interpret and react appropriately to a baby’s behavior had more gray and white matter between 12 and 16 weeks than they did between two and four weeks." For you father-programmers out there: did you notice any changes in your programming/work abilities around the 12-16 week mark?

I was basically useless as a programmer at 12-16 weeks. I was also basically useless at 2-4 weeks, but that was largely because of the sleep deprivation and constant need to run around doing chores. (What they don't tell new parents: newborns spend 6-7 hours/day attached to the boob and do so in shifts of about 15 minutes on + 45 minutes off, so mommy basically has a full-time job breastfeeding and daddy has a full-time job doing everything else.)

I started to get some of my old coding mojo back around 8 months and at 18 months I'm IMHO better than I've ever been, but the newborn phase is basically a complete write-off. Parental leave exists for a reason.

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#18

Post by rolltiide » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:28 AM UTC

jsiepkes wrote: post #13

dogma1138 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What does balding have to do with settling down? Women really don’t seem to care nearly as much as men do...

That has not been my experience. During my dating period (about 5 years ago) I was regularly told that my full head of hair was a pre. Though there could be bias there since the ones who care obviously were more likely to seek me out.

My experience is that women - like men - have preconceived notions of attraction that are easily circumvented, to make you more overall attractive enough.

Full head of hair is a qualifier, without it different things are needed to get yourself an in. The same logic goes for many attributes are considered qualifiers that aren't.

Yes, there are some men that expend very low energy and have women seemingly flock to them. I've seen bald men in this circumstance, and full haired men in this circumstance, I would say it is a very low weighting on anything.

Balding though seems to function different than bald.

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#19

Post by muzani » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:30 AM UTC

ademup wrote: post #2

"Certain areas within parts of the brain linked to attachment, nurturing, empathy and the ability to interpret and react appropriately to a baby’s behavior had more gray and white matter between 12 and 16 weeks than they did between two and four weeks." For you father-programmers out there: did you notice any changes in your programming/work abilities around the 12-16 week mark?

I always took off 3 months from work per baby. There's no point coding when you're always sleep deprived. Last year the company agreed to about half the salary, so I'd work from home on some things, or come in half the week or half a day as needed.

Then again I did notice I was very good at understanding baby talk.

Taking from some old notes of my 5 month old baby:

"eh eh eh", but no crying at 6 AM = "I need a diaper change" or "I'm hungry"

rapid kicking = excited

wide open arms while lying down = "pick me up"

"uh huh/mmm" with slight head inclining = yes.

when mother is saying something, baby laughs, turns head towards me, "uh huh/mmm" with inclined head = "mother is right" or "I told you so"

laughing and turning away = "I like that"

licking lips = "I want to eat whatever you're eating"

"aaaaaaaaaaa" = conversation or song

long, drawn out, angry crying = "I'm tired and I don't know how to sleep"

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#20

Post by pricees » Thu, Aug 22, 2019, 5:31 AM UTC

I was hoping this would explain my weight gain but I suppose I have to accept that replacing daily workouts with 3 bowls of ice cream and magic shell may be the culprit.