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We Have Ruined Childhood

nytimes.com

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Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#331

Post by noneeeed »

Scoutmaster wrote: post #35
mbrumlow wrote: post #3

I have a child. I love him very much. I can not fathom why any parents would not have free time as priority. Free time is amazing. Here is why. - I get a break. - My child gets to learn how to learn on his own. - My child builds independence. - My child learns to manage his time on his own. I see this playing out in the work force too. Far too many people I have worked with that are younger need to be told exactly wh…

What I've observed: they don't want any type of failure for their kids. I'm a Scoutmaster, and I have one parent who lashed out at me because I asked him not to interfere when the Scouts were trying to do something for themselves. I didn't let that affect me, I just thanked him for his feedback. Thankfully, I have the support of everyone else in the troop. What saddens me, is seeing first-hand how bad these parents a…

To me, this issue is one of the biggies. I understand where that feeling comes from, we are constantly told that everything is a competition or a race.

My wife and my sister are both teachers (languages and physics respectively), and they often encounter parents like that, who insist that their kid can do no wrong, or cannot be allowed to fail (or that any failure is someone elses fault), and it breaks the kids. Some of the kids understand what's going on and do well in spite of their parents, but others become convinced that either they don't have to take responsibility for anything, or insist on doing courses they are simply not going to do well in (like if you have solid Ds in Maths and the sciences, don't insist on doing A-level Physics, and no you are not going to medical school).

My wife's school had a family where all the kids were hard-working, conciencious and all-round lovely, but everyone dreaded dealing with the parents. Any time a kid got a bad mark in anything they would be on the phone demanding an explanation. The kids were always fine about it and knew when they had not worked on something. They sounded permentantly embarressed by their parents.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#332

Post by Broken_Hippo »

code_duck wrote: post #298
oska wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had to re-read your comment. At first I thought you were saying you had one hour of homework per night. One hour per class per day is insane. I regularly avoided doing homework throughout my school life. The only thing I think that suffered was my understanding of physics & chemistry. I doubt I would have better understanding now in any other subject area if I had done more homework, including maths and the foreign…

I would rarely do any homework, because I was way more interested in using my Amiga, but I paid close attention in class. For many classes, the way the grading worked out would be that I would get an A for participation, an A for all of the quizzes and tests because I was paying attention knew the material, and an F or D homework, which would work out to a D (65%) in the class. It doesn’t really make any sense consid…

I agree with you in general, but on the other hand, my sister got the short end on tests and quizzes.

Unlike me, she'd do the homework. On time, even! The teachers could verbally ask her anything on the test and she'd reply with the answer. Yet once the test came, she'd do poorly nearly every time. A few teachers were able to work with her, but otherwise she'd simply do poorly in a class if it was weighted for the test instead of other things.

I was more like you and nearly failed due to homework not being done. I got better when I got older, but I also weirdly had less homework the last 2 years of high school than I did in middle school.

Of course, both situations really are illustrative that education is mostly punitive and it doesn't really matter if you can prove you know things.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#333

Post by tasssko »

Grzegrzolka wrote: post #295
parasubvert wrote: post #286

It’s a strange article from an outside-US perspective. My 2.5 year old in daycare has lots of play time (at least 3 hours a day), plus at an hour at home in the morning and evening. Usually about 1 hour is on the iPad (Toca Blocks is her free play game), the rest with books, blocks, in the garden with flowers, on her tricycle... The 9 year old’s “before and after school” program is all about free play time, plus two…

USA is just slowly rotting away. From what I read here about how modern life in US looks like I seriously suspect that there will be some kind of massive epidemic mind deseases outburst there in 15-30 years.

This is a sweeping generalisation, I bet there are parts of the USA that are thriving and communities that are booming. What we need is more clarity about what is the root cause of the problem.

The motivation for my comment is we see similar trends in all developed countries and the symptoms are identical so calling out this issue as being USA is a missed opportunity to focus on the problem.

My follow up would be which people and communities are most affected ?

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#334

Post by Crinus »

dmje wrote: post #293

You guys in the States have it bad. I hear terrible stories about the fear that now surrounds any kind of freedom for kids. Over here in the UK we’re a bit better, but the “give them exams ALL the time” and schools being on their knees, financially, are all too familiar. For me, this journey with my kids has been about a massive slew of things, among the most important: - extending their childhood where possible: enc…

> a large part of this has been about not being constantly distracted when I’m with other people

I do not understand this, why would a smartphone distract you if you do not set it up to distract you? Can't you just not install all the distracting software and turn all notifications off? This is how i have my phone (i do not have any "social" app installed, do not allow any notifications and have it in almost constant silent mode - though that last bit is to avoid telemarketers who are an annoyance around here) and sometimes i even forget it exists to the point where the battery runs out :-P

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#335

Post by _pmf_ »

"We". Maybe the feminist agenda pushing the narrative that creating powerpoints is more satisfying for women than caring for their children has something to do with it.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#337

Post by m_mueller »

tasssko wrote: post #333
Grzegrzolka wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

USA is just slowly rotting away. From what I read here about how modern life in US looks like I seriously suspect that there will be some kind of massive epidemic mind deseases outburst there in 15-30 years.

This is a sweeping generalisation, I bet there are parts of the USA that are thriving and communities that are booming. What we need is more clarity about what is the root cause of the problem. The motivation for my comment is we see similar trends in all developed countries and the symptoms are identical so calling out this issue as being USA is a missed opportunity to focus on the problem. My follow up would be whi…

As a Swiss, when I see that constant supervision is mandated in many US states until 12 years old, then I have to think that there's more than just isolated communities there where it's going wrong. You basically have laws that make anything other than what we call helicopter parenting illegal.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#338

Post by JeanMarcS »

tasssko wrote: post #333
Grzegrzolka wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

USA is just slowly rotting away. From what I read here about how modern life in US looks like I seriously suspect that there will be some kind of massive epidemic mind deseases outburst there in 15-30 years.

This is a sweeping generalisation, I bet there are parts of the USA that are thriving and communities that are booming. What we need is more clarity about what is the root cause of the problem. The motivation for my comment is we see similar trends in all developed countries and the symptoms are identical so calling out this issue as being USA is a missed opportunity to focus on the problem. My follow up would be whi…

I completely agree with you.

What happens in the USA frequently happens in western countries a bit later.

I actually live in Ireland and I’m so surprised everytime I see parents giving their todlers a smartphone with a cartoon on it to keep them quiet.

And the same with kids. There even are tablets in mc donald’s !

And recently, Gardia (the police) stated that they gonna start alerting childcare if they find kids playing outside with no adult watching !

That’s not the way I raise my kids at all. Luckily we are in a house with a big garden and trees.

But, at least in Western Europe, we are sadly following this path..

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#339

Post by saiya-jin »

dragonwriter wrote: post #249
maire wrote: post #196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am not sure how old you are but everything seemed to change when abducted children were put on milk cartons in the mid 1980s. Before that, kids roamed free. I tell my foreign friends that kids used to run the streets in America and they can hardly believe it. The funny thing is that the danger of "stranger abductions" has been over blown. Most abductions are non-custodial parents.

> I am not sure how old you are but everything seemed to change when abducted children were put on milk cartons in the mid 1980s. Before that, kids roamed free. That actually started in the early 1980s, and kids roamed free well into the 1990s.

I don't think there is only 1 reason. I can think of several others - ie Marc Dutroux's case was highly medialised in Europe.

People generally have less and less time with kids due to work, and then overcompensate by being over-protective ("I suck at spending enough time with my kids, but look at how I protect them! I must still be a good parent then!").

There are much more cars everywhere, they drive faster too. Especially US problem from my experience, since whole infrastructure is designed around car usage. How are kids supposed to roam freely in urban areas then? I recall having to do 45 min walk to get to my work which was 1km away in LA, and this was including taking forbidden shortcut via highway road. Otherwise a solid 1h walk, to do frakin' 1km distance. Because nobody thought that there are pedestrians. Well kids are pedestrians, even on bikes.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#340

Post by dawidw »

DanBC wrote: post #302
Red_Tarsius wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Apples and oranges. Japan is one of the safest countries in the world. - Murder rate (per year per 100,000 inhabitants) Japan: 0.20 USA: 5.30 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intention... - Rape rate (number of rape incidents per 100,000 citizens) Japan: 1.0 USA: 27.3 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics

There's a lot of discussion in the Wikipedia article saying that you can't compare rates internationally. Please be a bit more careful with statistics.

That intrigued me. Why one can't compare rates internationally? I think we can and that what rates are for, aren't they?
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