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We Have Ruined Childhood

nytimes.com

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Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#321

Post by johnisgood »

aiyodev wrote: post #231
maire wrote: post #196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am not sure how old you are but everything seemed to change when abducted children were put on milk cartons in the mid 1980s. Before that, kids roamed free. I tell my foreign friends that kids used to run the streets in America and they can hardly believe it. The funny thing is that the danger of "stranger abductions" has been over blown. Most abductions are non-custodial parents.

Which countries still allow children to grow up free?

Probably many Eastern European countries.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#322

Post by johnisgood »

dougmwne wrote: post #314
honzzz wrote: post #306

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>>> someone will call the police on you This may be a naive question but please bear with a non-US person - what would happen in the US if someone actually called police on you? Could you just say "these are my children and I think it is good for them to be unsupervised, good bye"?

You could be arrested or your children could be taken away from you. http://www.freerangekids.com/category/child-protective-servi...

What the heck? Madness. When I was a kid (not too long ago), we used to throw rocks at other people's windows. Cops has been called out. They came and told us in a polite, friendly manner to not do that, or go elsewhere. Nothing else happened! We were unsupervised, etc. Would have I been taken away from my family in the US for this incident?

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#323

Post by rimliu »

kart23 wrote: post #167
chrissnell wrote: post #97

I am a parent of two boys—ages 7 and 4–and I hardly recognize the negative forces that this author laments over because my wife and I have simply chosen not to raise our kids that way. When my boys get home, we get outside and do sports. We’re in the middle of (tackle) football season right now and that’s what my 7 year-old does five days a week for two hours every evening. It’s exercise, fun, camaraderie, and lesson…

Good on you. Technology has a time and place, but it should never replace human interaction. On the topic of iPads, I went to a combined middle/high school, and one year, they moved to require the whole middle school to have an ipad, making the argument that they were being 'technologically advanced' and adapting to the 21st century 'digital society'. It had exactly the effect you might think. You cant type on ipads,…

  > Technology has a time and place, but it should never
  > replace human interaction.
Neither should football.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#324

Post by afarrell »

exhaze wrote: post #311
dmje wrote: post #293

You guys in the States have it bad. I hear terrible stories about the fear that now surrounds any kind of freedom for kids. Over here in the UK we’re a bit better, but the “give them exams ALL the time” and schools being on their knees, financially, are all too familiar. For me, this journey with my kids has been about a massive slew of things, among the most important: - extending their childhood where possible: enc…

Why don't you just find a WFH job where you don't make so little money that you consider yourself "poor"? I appreciate the sentiment of wanting to spend time with your kids, and I know life is about trade-offs, but it seems a bit extreme to decide that the only way to spend quality time with your kids is to move to a remote village, completely sacrifice earning ability, and reject smartphone technology (I have a smar…

> I have a smartphone and I have no problem not using it at all during dinner time or when I’m hanging out with friends

Could you clarify what point you are making by bringing up your lack of a problem? Does this relate to the way that the parent solves a problem he’s experienced?

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#325

Post by seanhandley »

netmonk wrote: post #246
Rotdhizon wrote: post #83

Seems like society is constantly pushing to remove all the ways in which kids used to live. Can't just wonder around and play on the sidewalks or the streets anymore with your friends, someone will call the police on you. Can't hang out in the woods, as those have mostly been torn down to make way for new neighborhoods, and the woods that do remain are typically private property. Unless you are lucky enough to live i…

There was this study published around 10 years ago, showing that in 1850 the average diameter of field of play of children were around 10km close to the house. In 2007 it was mostly 250m away from the house.

One word: cars.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#326

Post by shioyama »

dragonsh wrote: post #283
shioyama wrote: post #211

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks, and to respond to another sibling comment: this may be rare in statistical terms, but it is more than real enough to motivate a very clear pattern of behaviour among parents (not allowing kids to roam freely, etc) I speak from experience having had people (including family) be shocked at how free our kids are here in Japan versus the experience in North America. Whether the media are making things worse (prob…

I have enough ties to USA and looking at the kids of majority of my childhood friends I can say for sure that they are similar or better off than an average Asian kids who spend majority of time not playing outside but immersed in school homework or extra tutoring activities. The pressure in Asia builds even before pre-school where toddlers have lessons to attend, to get into a decent pre-school. Anecdotal evidence t…

Sorry, we'll just have to agree to disagree. I live in Japan, so I'm speaking from direct daily experience with a local school system (not international school).

But I completely disagree with your statements about "Asia", as if all countries are the same. Let's at least be specific about which countries you're talking about, and what direct experience you have with those countries.

I make no claims beyond my local context, and North America (with which I have contact through family/friends).

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#327

Post by Broken_Hippo »

maxheadroom wrote: post #303
Rotdhizon wrote: post #83

Seems like society is constantly pushing to remove all the ways in which kids used to live. Can't just wonder around and play on the sidewalks or the streets anymore with your friends, someone will call the police on you. Can't hang out in the woods, as those have mostly been torn down to make way for new neighborhoods, and the woods that do remain are typically private property. Unless you are lucky enough to live i…

> ...and the woods that do remain are typically private property. I've heard that in the states you can own a piece of property but have "no right" to get to it, as it's surrounded by other pieces of private property and, so, you're at the whims of those properties' owners. Is this true? In Sweden, we have the concept of 'Allemansrätten'[0]; which is to say that 'private property' (in the absolute sense) doesn't exis…

Agreed with other poster: If you own land that is completely surrounded by other land, you generally have the right to go through other's land.

But on the other hand, it really isn't "allmansrätten" either. (I am from the US and live in Norway - and norway has the same sort of laws). Here in Norway, you can simply camp for a night in some unused wooded area or a field that is obviously not used. In the US, you can get arrested for doing such a thing. Nature isn't something that is free for everyone to enjoy, but rather, it is the property of whoever owns the land even if there is no barrier or signs to alert you otherwise.

How often that is enforced varies. My parents owned land and generally didn't care, though they wanted hunters to alert them first so the could keep themselves safe. Many area residents didn't care if a couple people were walking in their woods - but don't get the idea that you could camp there without law enforcement being called unless you had express permission of the landowner.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#328

Post by dgellow »

jaclaz wrote: post #312
dgellow wrote: post #297

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Any country in Western Europe.

Yep, but still the amount of kids "roaming free" is far less what used to be (Italy here), in the old days (I am talking og the '70's) - with some due exceptions - after school we had lunch, spent maybe 1 hour doing homework and then (from the age of 6 or 7) "roamed free", usually on bycicles, till there was enough light (or the time was a quarter to 20:00, whatever came first). A as a side note, most kids wore short…

What you describe sounds normal to me, I'm from Switzerland and was a kid during the 90s.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#329

Post by seanhandley »

Reedx wrote: post #228
mbrumlow wrote: post #3

I have a child. I love him very much. I can not fathom why any parents would not have free time as priority. Free time is amazing. Here is why. - I get a break. - My child gets to learn how to learn on his own. - My child builds independence. - My child learns to manage his time on his own. I see this playing out in the work force too. Far too many people I have worked with that are younger need to be told exactly wh…

I worry about young kids whose parents give them an iPad at all times, to the point that they're not even without it during a meal at a restaurant or other occasions. And how that may affect their ability to develop resiliency and creativity.

Our son (4) was diagnosed with ASD. He struggles to sit still and that makes eating at restaurants really difficult because he just wants to run all around the room, climb the tables and chairs, take things off other tables etc.

Putting his headphones on with his Fire tablet helps keep him calm so we can enjoy our food (and so can everyone else). And we get plenty of sideways glances, like we're doing parenting wrong.

People don't see how many hours he spends running around the park, drawing, reading books, playing with toys etc.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#330

Post by Broken_Hippo »

johnisgood wrote: post #322
dougmwne wrote: post #314

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You could be arrested or your children could be taken away from you. http://www.freerangekids.com/category/child-protective-servi...

What the heck? Madness. When I was a kid (not too long ago), we used to throw rocks at other people's windows. Cops has been called out. They came and told us in a polite, friendly manner to not do that, or go elsewhere. Nothing else happened! We were unsupervised, etc. Would have I been taken away from my family in the US for this incident?

Possibly: It is just as or more likely that you, as a child, might have had to deal with the juvenile justice system, depending on your age. 4-5, maybe not, but 10-12? Definitely.

I'll add that your treatment would likely depend on the color of your skin, how well-to-do your neighborhood was, and how familiar the cop was with you and your family (small town vs large one, really). They may or may not call child services on your family.

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