111–120 of 241 posts
Anxiousness, alertness to danger, and the imperative not to show it, is an essence of the male human condition surely?
What's in a name... Its amazing the difference a title makes. Being "a jerk" is frowned upon, its "bad" and the jerk should know better. But when its "anxiety" its met with compassion and understanding. He needs help not a stern look.
Why do we feel that the jerk has agency over his actions but the anxious man doesn't? If anything, I'd say it's the opposite: the poor titleless jerk has no option but to be like he is. The anxious one could seek treatment to reconfigure his behaviour.
This whole arbitrary divide between agency and fatalism pops up again and again. See nature/nurture, gayness, crime (compare poor vs richer perpetrators), insanity, acts committed under influence of drug etc etc. It seems like society had to decide on the age old unanswerable question of free will, and it did, arbitrarily.
> When a man explodes in anger over something seemingly insignificant, he may appear like just a jerk. But he could be anxious. What's in a name... Its amazing the difference a title makes. Being "a jerk" is frowned upon, its "bad" and the jerk should know better. But when its "anxiety" its met with compassion and understanding. He needs help not a stern look. Why do we feel that the jerk has agency over his actions…
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In my case, getting hired by one of the Big Four tech companies. Always was a high performer, but didn't feel satisfied at other companies. I felt I was worth much more than what I was getting paid. I needed the validation and at least the perception of being with the best. I kept pushing my application since it felt daunting and I had failed Google once. I also made up excuses why a big tech company isn't worth it a…
What are the big 4 tech companies? I’ve heard that in accounting, but I don’t know which 4 they would be in tech.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
In my case, getting hired by one of the Big Four tech companies. Always was a high performer, but didn't feel satisfied at other companies. I felt I was worth much more than what I was getting paid. I needed the validation and at least the perception of being with the best. I kept pushing my application since it felt daunting and I had failed Google once. I also made up excuses why a big tech company isn't worth it a…
How did you overcome the 'I shouldn't have to go through whiteboarding' problem? The riddles, and the whiteboards, are why I turn down all big 4 recruiter emails.
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>> I had a variety of symptoms and none of them immediately seemed to shout "anxiety" to my physicians This is usually not true in most cases, it's actually something a good GP will explicitly consider by asking you the questions. Maybe it was not possible due to something about your example, but it's recognized all the time in similar cases. It's also a case for having a regular doctor in some form, because it's eas…
I'm a doctor. I can tell you that even if I think a middle aged man with chest pain has anxiety he's still getting a full cardiac workup. Even a 20yo woman with anxiety will get a cardiac workup. It doesn't sound like these doctors missed anything based on this story. It sounds like they were ruling out the stuff that'll kill you quickly.
GPs were mentioned - I'm simply stating that it's not uncommon that a patient comes to see a GP questions are asked to elicit the role of stress and anxiety in the situation as appropriate.
This does not rule out other care or take precedence over it as you know.
I’ve thought about this a bit. I don’t have anger issues but I have anxiety issues and I spent decades not understanding that I experienced anxiety. In my experience, the culture tells men to exhibit strength and show no weakness. What counts as strength/weakness has changed over time and varies depending on your social groups — it’s not just the stuff associated with typically masculine values, but it also shows up…
I dont think its a cultural thing. Men on average show less empathy and emotion than women. For obvious reasons, child rearing vs hunting. But most writers and journalists tend to be on the feminine side of the spectrum because that correlates with verbal ability. So this theory has emerged that most men are actually just as emotional as women but are hiding their feelings because society expects them to do it. Maybe…
Most writers and journalists have traditionally been men, because men have traditionally been considered more trustworthy and intelligent. The cultural stigma against female authorship has been strong enough that they have tended to either publish under male pseudonyms or neutral identities (such as J.K. Rowling) lest their feminine identity harm their earning potential.
> When a man explodes in anger over something seemingly insignificant, he may appear like just a jerk. But he could be anxious. What's in a name... Its amazing the difference a title makes. Being "a jerk" is frowned upon, its "bad" and the jerk should know better. But when its "anxiety" its met with compassion and understanding. He needs help not a stern look. Why do we feel that the jerk has agency over his actions…
These people are likely remorseful for what they have said or done.
A true jerk is someone who is being a jerk on purpose because they don't care about others. And they don't regret their actions because they think they are justified.
Seems like an important distinction to me.
Most sex differentiated medical stories which pop up in my feed tend to be about drug interactions in women being misunderstood because of the overtesting of males. That mental illness is mis-characterised in men, speaks to me of two things: 1) we haven't had a large enough war to produce the volume of war psychosis outcomes which correct for this and 2) women are tragically over-represented in all forms of mental il…
In this case it seems like women being usually more open emotionally means that anxiety manifests in a more intuitive way, whereas for men there's another layer of indirection due to emotional repression.