The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction • Hacker News Board

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#31

Post by thanatropism » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 3:28 PM UTC

sak5sk wrote: post #18

It's worse than that. It is all baked into our daily tools. Even HN as a community and a forum aids in distraction. Pretty much any community that lets you form an echo chamber around yourself (all social networks, and communities including HN)commands your attention by making you interact with people who think like you. If this were done in real life it would be much different, but the online medium of it falls shor…

The big R = Ritalin?

That's surprisingly plausible/feasible.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#32

Post by dymk » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 3:29 PM UTC

coldtea wrote: post #23

al_form2000 wrote: post #4

The title giveth, the body takes away. Articles like these have been making the rounds for maybe 6 ears now, and I cannot see how this brings even a moderately non-stale perspective to the fray .I checked the date, it's from today. Must be a slow week at SciAm.

Why does it have to be "non-stale"? Is this need part of the "new is better" dopamine cycle? It's enough to be valid, or thought provoking.

My thoughts on this were provoked on this identically, years ago. Again. And again.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#33

Post by buboard » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 3:33 PM UTC

The text refutes the title, whats going on. Anyway, another article about how it is "destroying society". But there is no mention on what really destroys society. Try smiling to an adult and u re the weird one. So much for saying hi or chatting, ewww unless you re physically on the high end of the scale. Like others have said, you can only react to kids , and that's only if you re not a man outside a certain age range. Frankly this doesnt sound like an interesting book.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#34

Post by hoorayimhelping » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 3:35 PM UTC

aphextim wrote: post #3

One thing I try to always do is smile and/or wave at babies/young children if they make eye contact with you. In a world where there is a lot of negativity being broadcast on the news 24/7 and click bait headlines, it is good to instill a sense of happiness in the youth of today by being friendly. Walking places a lot of people are distracted by their phones and hardly make eye contact anymore of if they do they make…

Something I've been making an effort to do more is to try to have a softer look on my face when I'm in public. I tend to be pretty intense looking, especially when I'm thinking hard, which I usually am when I'm walking or standing in line.

I've noticed that consciously thinking about something that makes me very happy, or something I find funny, will make that happy emotion show on my face. When I project happy into the world, I get a lot more happy back - people (I'm talking about adults here) seem drawn to strangers in a good mood. When I'm consciously trying to be happy, people are much more likely to smile and say hello.

And maybe it's confirmation bias, but when I'm trying to project happiness, and when I try to really smile at people and say good morning and mean it, I notice a lot of times that people seem to walk away with a little more pep. Almost like "wow, some stranger just genuinely wished me a good morning."

This all could be cause I live in Santa Monica and people out here tend to be happier than they did in NYC.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#35

Post by angrydev » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 3:36 PM UTC

This article lacks substance and is painfully anecdotal. I was expecting something more from SA.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#36

Post by the_watcher » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 3:53 PM UTC

aphextim wrote: post #3

One thing I try to always do is smile and/or wave at babies/young children if they make eye contact with you. In a world where there is a lot of negativity being broadcast on the news 24/7 and click bait headlines, it is good to instill a sense of happiness in the youth of today by being friendly. Walking places a lot of people are distracted by their phones and hardly make eye contact anymore of if they do they make…

> One thing I try to always do is smile and/or wave at babies/young children if they make eye contact with you.

While I generally like kids, I can't say I am particularly high on the "loves kids" scale. I honestly can't help but smile & wave at a kid or baby that looks at me. The sense of wonder and fascination in their eyes is incredible.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#37

Post by unreal37 » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 3:53 PM UTC

al_form2000 wrote: post #4

The title giveth, the body takes away. Articles like these have been making the rounds for maybe 6 ears now, and I cannot see how this brings even a moderately non-stale perspective to the fray .I checked the date, it's from today. Must be a slow week at SciAm.

The answer is in the first sentence of the fourth paragraph.

"As I explain in my book..."

This is advertising.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#38

Post by asveikau » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 4:01 PM UTC

bitL wrote: post #27

aphextim wrote: post #3

One thing I try to always do is smile and/or wave at babies/young children if they make eye contact with you. In a world where there is a lot of negativity being broadcast on the news 24/7 and click bait headlines, it is good to instill a sense of happiness in the youth of today by being friendly. Walking places a lot of people are distracted by their phones and hardly make eye contact anymore of if they do they make…

...just wait until their parents report you to the police for "smiling at kids"

I was thinking about something like this recently.

I am a father of two kids. I can be walking on the sidewalk with my kids, and see another parent, maybe a mom, smile and say hello, it's totally fine.

Same situation, but maybe my kids are not with me, maybe they're in school. Suddenly I'm a strange man saying hello at a mom and her kids. A real danger situation! Hold onto your bag, hold the kids extra tight, reach for the pepper spray. But I am the same person in both situations.

But mindful of this, I keep a respectful distance in the latter case.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#39

Post by awinder » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 4:07 PM UTC

olah_1 wrote: post #13

I think digital spaces have added an additional dimension of social reciprocity. Just one tiny example is the "courtesy like" when having a friendly interaction on twitter. It's like waiting to go back inside your house until your guest has fully driven out of your driveway and gone away. Healthy technology is additive, not subtractive of our existing lives. And I think it's natural for us to have digital equivalents…

  So, yes, some people don’t hear back from me as quickly as 
  they used to. I hear all the time from people who are 
  genuinely upset with me about that.

To me, the problem is that with immediacy people come up with all sorts of new less-than-healthy ideas of reciprocity and social mores. In this case, the expectation of immediate reply because it's possible -- someone could not have that thought before the 1990s & ubiquity of cellphones, and more realistically it's within the last decade that that kind of expectation could even be possible.

Re: The Death of Social Reciprocity in the Era of Digital Distraction

#40

Post by hurrdurr2 » Thu, Aug 08, 2019, 4:08 PM UTC

bitL wrote: post #27

aphextim wrote: post #3

One thing I try to always do is smile and/or wave at babies/young children if they make eye contact with you. In a world where there is a lot of negativity being broadcast on the news 24/7 and click bait headlines, it is good to instill a sense of happiness in the youth of today by being friendly. Walking places a lot of people are distracted by their phones and hardly make eye contact anymore of if they do they make…

...just wait until their parents report you to the police for "smiling at kids"

Your sentiment is not too far from the truth... I often use the nextdoor app for my neighborhood, and the amount of paranoia folks on there display to their own neighbors and people just walking down the street/walking their dogs is astonishing.