Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is fundamentally because our industry is built on opinions, not standards. You talk to one software engineer, and they'll say, "that's built in PHP, so it sucks; it should have been built with npm, obviously." Then you talk to another and they say, "I can't believe they built that with npm, the package management system is just terrible and the whole mess is bloated and there have been a ton of security issues.…
There are reasons why other industries are more mature, like: they've been waaaaaaaaay longer than CS/SE they do not change so robustly & fast in short peroids of time. >We can't even accurately estimate the cost of a complex project given our choice of tools Let's do not pretend as if that was limited to our industry.
There is still a lot of creative art and the more we stop pretending this isn't the case, the more people will be reasonable. There is still an high degree of technicality in the profession, but that doesn't mean its "engineering" -- you can be technical, not an engineer, and still respectable (heck, look at science in general). It's still a complex skill and makes lots of money for many businesses.